Putting the Pieces Back Together | Teen Ink

Putting the Pieces Back Together

January 6, 2008
By Anonymous

Junior year to many is described as unforgettable, full of fun, excitement, and one year closer to that time everyone waits for their whole entire life. If anyone had asked me about this year the beginning of 11th grade, I would not have agreed more. I had no idea that this year would be one of the most difficult struggles I would have to face.

Summer faded, and soccer tryouts came so fast. With soccer season approaching I could not wait for my junior year to start. It was so great to see all my friends and teammates again, and to be a part of one of the best teams Abington High School had ever seen. The season came and went full of fun, memories, and a remarkable record. Junior year was looking great, until it took a turn for the worst.

School days quickly became my least favorite days; I dreaded waking up every morning. Walking into the building that was once my comfort zone seemed like a strange place. As the weeks passed my problem became worse and worse, and my attendance quickly dropped. My problem slowly but surely worsened, and I didn’t understand why but school became my worst nightmare.

After many days in the doctors office and hospital visits, I was diagnosed with having severe anxiety. This disease can cause even the most familiar places to be scary to the patient affected. I could not comprehend how the place full of my best friends and the kids I grew up with could become so distant from me. My problem got so bad that I missed months of school and lost contact with the ones that I loved most. I felt as if I was hiding from the world; it even kept me out of the thing I love doing most, club soccer.

I remember laying in bed day after day, where crying became a regular routine for me. My life was a mess, and I didn’t think I would ever put the pieces back together. I missed my junior prom, my pep rally, and so many things I looked forward to each and every year. I had lost all faith in myself although it was beyond my control. “It will get better soon, the medicine will start working shortly, don’t worry things will be back to normal in no time”, were things I was so sick of hearing. I knew getting my life back together would not be easy, but I was willing to do anything to get things back to the way they once were.

The help from my mother, father, sisters, and brothers are what got me through the hardest year of my life, and I am so lucky to have had the support I received from them. My father took visits every day to school to pick up my work and drop it off to me, and my mother was at every doctor’s appointment. I spent each day teaching myself the material I was missing, and I worked so hard, being my own instructor. I got caught up with a lot of my work quickly, and was doing an excellent job of learning the material being sent home. Once the medication and visits began making me better I knew I still had the most difficult task of all: returning to school.

As many people know, high school can be full of the most judgmental people. No one other than teachers had heard from me in so long that rumors were floating around everywhere. People I had never even talked to before were speaking my name out of their mouths. It took every ounce of courage in my body, and a morning full of sweaty palms and tears, but I promised myself I would do it. I worked too hard to let anything get in the way of my goal; I owed it to myself and to my family. I will never forget that day because it still stands as one of the biggest stepping stones in my life. I learned what it felt like to be stared at from people I had never even seen before. Whispers such as, “I heard she was pregnant” and “I heard she suffered from severe depression” surrounded me, but I had my friends standing by me, and they were ecstatic to see me. I would be lying if I said it was easier than I thought it would be, because it was not at all. That day was one of the hardest things I ever had to face, but after I got through it things slowly fell back into place. I was getting my life back, regardless of those who passed judgments too quickly.

My junior year has made me a stronger and more understanding person. The work effort I had to put in proved to me that anything is possible. My situation made me realize that no matter what I face, I can get through anything with a little help from the people around me and hard work. I now walk into my school with a smile on my face, and I am having the time of my life my senior year. I feel fortunate for that struggle to have had happened in my life, because it brought out an inner strength I had never seen before. I am ready for whatever is put in front of me, and I know I can overcome any future challenges that I may be faced with.

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This article has 1 comment.

mike said...
on Sep. 22 2009 at 10:30 pm
wow. im very happy for you, but i've been struggling with social anxiety since the start of junior year, and now im a senior, still struggling, but getting better. i did not see any therapist, nor did i get help from those who are close around me. except for a friend that i have. but things are slowly getting better. good essay btw.