Why would I? | Teen Ink

Why would I?

March 25, 2013
By JYazzmen GOLD, Pensacola, Florida
JYazzmen GOLD, Pensacola, Florida
12 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"you can find out who a person is by the kind of books they read"

Dear diary:
I fell in love and now my heart is broken, what am I to do?
I met someone who said they would never leave me, then they left why did I believe them?
This is uncharted waters for me and I don’t know how to react to something as heart wrenching as this. I’m starting to feel really weird, like when I think an=bout him my heart races and my palms get moist; I Googled the symptoms and a website said that I was in love. I thought it was crazy that I would be in love with someone who broke my heart and left me to pick up the pieces, but now I just can’t get him out of my mind. I called my best friend and she told me that you’ll never forget your first love.
The scary thing is that I’m starting to think that it’s true.
I asked my mom when she knew that she was in love with my father and she said that she was all goolgie-eyed and he was the first and last thought to come into her mind.
That’s when I started to freak out.
I know that I’m in love with him and I know that he’s not in love with me, so why-oh-why did I have to fall in love with him. Is fate so cruel that it would kill the insides of a person?
A few restless weeks of him in my mind I called him, or at least tried….. he changed his number. I called his mom and asked her to give me his new number…. she gave it to me and I called him then.
He didn’t pick up.
I called on my best friend’s phone.
When he heard it was me he hung up.
I tried to talk to him via Facebook.
He never replied.
I saw him at school and corned him until he told me why he was avoiding me.
He took a deep breath and look down.
I waited.
He looked at me and started to cry.
I asked him why he was crying.
He said that he was in love with me and that he didn’t know the symptoms at first so he broke it off. He said that after he realized that he was in love with me that he couldn’t face me. He couldn’t stand what he’d done to me.
He asked me to get back with him.
I laughed in his face and told him no. I told him that I was in love with him too…at one point in my life.
Until he hurt me.
Why would I go back to someone who caused me so much pain?
Dear diary: I wanted to hurt him as much as he’s hurt me so I told him no. even if I had spent hours at night thinking about him I wasn’t about to cave in after months of telling myself that we would never get back together.
I finally made him cry
I hope I keep him up at night like he once did to me.
Yours truly: Juliet

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