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My Demons Name
The Demon resurfaces,
Her blue eyes that are a deep dark blue because of the shirt she wears,
Her pupils are a deep fathomless pit that could swallow me whole if I look to long,
Her lush lips pulled back into a gruesome smile showing her white teeth,
Her canines flash as she moves in closer,
And her blond is hair highlighted an almost white color by the pale florescent light and it hangs in white-blond strands around her rounded face;
She looks like me.
She is me.
I grip the edges of the chrome circular sink and breathe deeply willing her away. Willing her to go away.
But this time- this time she’s stronger.
I have been feeding her off of my fear and terror and anger. And she wont go away, I know it. Not this time.
I breathe deeply as I feel her presence touch my spinal chord and I take in a shuddering breathe. “Go away.” The harsh words whip around me in my own voice.
And then a laugh rises from deep within me. It bursts from me like a geyser erupting to the sky. It feels wrong wrong wrong. It’s a deep throaty laugh that is somehow sexy and condescending and playful…all at the same time.
Its not my laugh.
“No.” She says in a playful manner.
I breathe some more and lean against the green bathroom wall and slide down its surface gripping my hair in fistfuls.
I ask myself a question, “Have I gone crazy?” I look into the floor length mirror and wonder, watching myself.
It’s like some other person has a hold of my body and I’m now the conscience telling myself to stop
To be good and to obey. But she doesn’t want to. She mentally pushes me out of the way, easily. And that scares me.
No, that terrifies me.
I try to get my body back, to not let her take control but she simply pushes and my head is now throbbing and it hurts and I’m seeing stars, and she’s now in control. She’s stronger than me and uses her strong will to shove me away- to tell me what to do.
She flexes her fingers and rolls her head on her shoulders while I groan in agony.
“She has been invisible long enough.” She whispers into the mirror, which echoes around the bathroom with an eerie ring in her own voice. Her voice is deep and sexy.
Not my voice.
And now she knows... I lose.
I try to open my mouth to talk- to say something but her smile grows wider at my failed attempts.
My useless attempts, she corrects me.
She rears up inside of me, her feelings are becoming my own, melding into my body, my conscience, her voice is telling me what to do, and her scary eyes- they meld with mine.
Her scary eyes flash and her anger washes over me.
I am her.
She is me.
Our name Is, Kathrynne.
We are one.
“And we have been invisible long enough. It is time to be seen.” Our voice echoes in the bathroom and our smile is somehow joyous, an expression that goes oddly with our eyes that are now a light blue, a September blue with a bright light of angry fire laced through the irises.
We shrug off our self consciousness and we walk the hallways like we own them.
We are one.
And we will be heard.