Invisible | Teen Ink


October 11, 2013
By theblondechick GOLD, Kingsport, Tennessee
theblondechick GOLD, Kingsport, Tennessee
14 articles 0 photos 104 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to live and feel all the shades, tones, and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life.
And I am horribly limited.
-Sylvia Path

There is a haze in the place where I stand to the untrained eye. I’m a glimmer. I’m the slight movement in the corner of their eyes. I’m nothing to them but empty, unsuspecting space, yet they’re naïve to think that I’m simply innocent.
Hands are cupped around whispered words. They say sweet nothings, desperate pleas, and shredded gossip. I’m there, listening to teary eyed girls and snickering males. Secret words reach my undetectable ears. This is one of the perks of being invisible.
I sit watching and waiting. Blurry people rush by me. They don’t see me there, sitting and watching. Watching is the game for the person with the unanticipated lucky hand in the poker game. On and on they walk past with their busy lives and souls tattooed with things unspoken. With my ghostly hands, I reach into them and pull out the oozing mess of their humanity. I know their secrets, their shame, and their joy. I’m sitting and waiting for them to know mine.
The game of watching is tiring. I join the flow of bodies all rushing to the unseen destination. It takes me to a street where cars honk as we scurry by. I stop. I stand still while the other moves around me. I’m an invisible obstacle. See me, my insides hum. Someone, please. I step out into the street where a yellow cab is barreling down the road. They won’t stop. Why should they for someone that’s not really there?
The breaks screech as tires skid across pavement. A car chatters to a stop. A face, red and round, pushes out of the car window. “Aye! What are you doing? Get out of the road!”
I’m not invisible.
Really, I never was.

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This article has 2 comments.

on Jan. 25 2014 at 10:07 pm
BabyBean BRONZE, Kaysville, Utah
2 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
It's hard to get out of the barrel. It's slippery around the edges and people are happy to see you fall back in. -RDJ

Wow, thats beautiful. Thanks for sharing :)

on Jan. 25 2014 at 8:02 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Roald Dahl

Oh wow I love this! I can totally relate cause I'm that girl that just fades into the background and observes everyone and I feel invisible a lot of the time. The only thing I would say is try more sentence variation. A lot of your sentences simple sentences and they were short and choppy and yeah I get that whole thing about the emotion in it is choppy and stuffs, but Idk try using different types of sentences everynow and then. Also try "show not tell". Try explaining something without out saying exactly what's happening, you know what I mean? Anywhose, I loved this a lot! Keep up the great writing! :D