All Nonfiction Bullying Books Academic Author Interviews Celebrity interviews College Articles College Essays Educator of the Year Heroes Interviews Memoir Personal Experience Sports Travel & CultureAll Opinions Bullying Current Events / Politics Discrimination Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking Entertainment / Celebrities Environment Love / Relationships Movies / Music / TV Pop Culture / Trends School / College Social Issues / Civics Spirituality / Religion Sports / Hobbies
- Summer Guide
- College Guide
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Personal Experience
- Travel & Culture
- Current Events / Politics
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
- Community Service
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
In which River Song Meets the 13th Doctor (Part 1)
"Oh no. Oh, no, no, no!" Thinks River Song, as she races down a small path in an overgrown forest. Behind her, you can hear shouts of anger, and the loud STOMP STOMP of many people on the run. "This really isn't the best way to wake up!" She calls over her shoulder.
Suddenly, through the blurs of green vegetation around her, she sees a streak of black. And then, a pure-black creature flings itself at her face, Its mouth wide open, and a strange hiss-yowl noise coming from its throat. River skids to a halt. Seconds later, she had a mouthful of fur. The creature, which she now realizes looks a bit like an overgrown fox, is using its small cat-claws to hang off her shoulders. Its huge green eyes stare up at her.
"Oh! Um, hello, fox. I really must be going now..." She says awkwardly pulling the huge, fluffy fox from herself, while running. "But how? How do I escape this?" She wonders. "I really could use that blue box right now..."
River Song escapes. So does the, well, fox thing. Which, for unknown reasons, she names 'Fling'. (Does that have something to do with her extraordinary hurling skills, as well as the fox's sharp teeth? Perhaps...)
Right now, she stands on a metal ship. Because of 'something' helping her escape, she's had time to let her vortex manipulator charge just enough to transport her onto the nearest ship. She's standing in a room, which, thankfully, seems to be a hospital ward, instead of, oh, I don't know, a prison ship?
And next to her? A black fox-thing.
"Oh for heaven's-" River exclaims. Fling seems to have been a stowaway.
Fling wimpers. Won't she let him stay? Maybe...
(The Doctor's POV)
Why does everything hurt? "Oh, right," She realizes, "Because of the space frogs... No, warp amphibians." Nearby, a nurse leans over her bed.
"HELLO! I'M YOUR NURSE!" The, well, nurse, exclaims.
The doctor's hair is practically blown back with the force of her nurse's speech. "Nice?" She manages, suddenly realizing she can barely talk.
"NOW THEN!" The nurse all but screams. "TAKE IT EASY! YOU'VE JUST WOKEN UP, AND-"
"A little quieter?" She suggests. "I-"
"Hey! GET BACK HERE!" screams an all-too-familiar voice. River? But how?
"Ach! My head! It feels like I've just climbed out of a Huarona's nest!" The doctor exclaimed. "Which," She adds, "Contains toxins that-" She stops abruptly. River. Was she dreaming?
"COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW! THAT'S MINE! AND IT'S VERY VALUABLE, I SHOULD KNOW-" Nope, not a dream"-AND-" River comes running into the Doctor's hospital ward, chasing a black streak.
(Both their POV)
Suddenly, River stops, in the middle of the ward. Fling is MUCH too fast. She begins to pull something out of a hidden pocket in her used-to-be white dress. A gleam of metal. Then she seems to realize how quiet it is. All eyes in the hospital ward are on her. She clears her throat, smiles, and puts the whatever-it-is back into her pocket.
"River?!?" She hears. Of course, now she has another problem. She spins around, glowers at the source of the noise, and begins to yell at the blond-haired patient sitting on one hospital bed.
"Who are you? What do you want? How do you know my name? Did the empress of Gulapilatali IV send you h-" She stops abruptly, catching sight of the patient's eyes. She'd know them anywhere. In any body. "Doctor?"
"River?" Strange. This River appears too old to be out of the library. Did she... escape? The doctor's eyes are very wide by now, and she's scrambled up into a sitting position.
"You're... You're..." Said River, seeming speechless for once in her life, (Save for when Napolean suddenly proposed to her, long story), and she's practically gaping at the doctor.
"A woman, yes." The Doctor sighs wearily. She's gone over this so many times! Then again...."I've been upgraded!" The doctor exclaims, brightening.
"I can see that." Replies River, seeming to have found her voice.
The Doctor is very excited now. She loves her new look; a striped T, yellow suspenders, those interesting, heavy-duty, shin-length, black pants. Surely everyone in the universe could agree it's great? "What do you think?"
River studies the doctor's new outfit, stepping closer. "The hair's okay," She begins. "But those? Those are worse than the bowtie!" She says, eyeing the combat boots. Oh, right. River Song isn't just anyone. She's, well...River Song.
"Oi! I really like this outfit, I'll have you know!" The Doctor exclaimed.
RIver raised one eyebrow incredulously. "Not surprised."
Fling suddenly appeared, interrupting their conversation and peeking over the bed, big nose twitching like a rabbit.
"Oh no." River groaned.
Fling made a little, inquisitive trilling noise, before scrambling up on the bed, his rump wriggling like a dog's. Then, suddenly appearing ferocious, he showed his sharp white fangs and making that hiss-yowl sound again. He flung himself at River, who flopped back dramatically, the breath knocked out of her by Fling's heaviness. She closed her eyes, then opened them as a burst of cute, oh-so-strangely feminine laughter came from the doctor.
And what did River see? Stunning emerald green. Fling's apparently very flexible neck was was bent, so much so that his furry forehead was pressed firmly against River's. His strangely bendy nose was curved to the left. He looked like he was made of rubber. Very fluffy rubber. Well, okay, he just looked as stretchy as rubber.
He'd stopped looking aggressive by now, of course, and an adorable quirky expression was somehow clear on his fox face. He trilled again. The Doctor giggled. River groaned. "Get this BEAST off of me!" Said River, exasperated as her husband - no! - Wife didn't comply.
"GET OFF ME!" River insisted, glowering into the green. Mewling like a kitten, Fling let up and slunk off, hiding under a nearby bed.
The Doctor was watching Fling closely. "I've never seen something like that before... He seems like part cat, fox, and dog..."
"An experiment?" River suggested, sitting up and brushing off clumps off black fur from her dress. She groaned. "He seems to shed when he gets scared."
The doctor grinned. "And he plays dead like a possum." She added, watching as a large blue Amoniteum nurse walked past Fling. He bushed himself up, then his eyes rolled back in his head, and he collapsed, legs in the air.
"Where did you get him?" The doctor asked curiously.
"I didn't get him. He's a stowaway." River corrected, rolling her eyes.
"Either way, it seems like you have a new pet. He's attached to you." And the doctor seemed to have been correct. The fox, now almost bald, with clumps of fur around him, rolled to his cat-like paws and headed back towards River. Fling once again scrambled up onto the bed. Interestingly, his fur seemed to be growing back.
"I don't want a pet!" River stared Fling down. He seemed to be getting ready to hurl himself at her again. Meeting her gaze, then breaking it, he sat down. "Good dog. I mean... Good Cat-possum-dog-fox-thingy." River commented. She can't help but smile now. "Now about those boots," She began.
The Doctor sighed. "I take it you're going to insist a visit to the Tardis wardrobe room?"
"You know me so well," River replied. "And yes."
"But I really like these!"
"What's wrong with ridiculous? I like ridiculous."
"I know you do. But still - that really is an unacceptable outfit. You don't look..." The Doctor met River's gaze a bit pleadingly. "Okay, fine. Keep the combat boots." River said, giving in.
Fling wriggled his rump again. "You ridiculous little thing!" River said, laughing as the fox leaned up to slurp her face.
The nurse had come back. "DO YOU NEED ANYTHING?" She yelled at what must have been the top of her lungs.
"No." The Doctor croaked, covering her ears. "Well, actually..."
"YES?!?!" The nurse screamed.
"Nevermind." The doctor said, wincing. "My ears..."
"CALL IF YOU NEED ANYTHING!!!" Yelled the nurse, stomping away.
The Doctor looked up. River was smirking. "Is it just me, or is that nurse very, ver-"
"It's just you." River interrupted. The Doctor glared at her. Fling trilled and jumped on the Doctor's lap. She winced, and pushed Fling off.
"What happened to your leg? You know, besides the awful pants."
"Warp Amphibians." The Doctor replied. "Space Frogs." She added. "You know, Space frogs are very trigger-happy..."
"So, how are you, well, here?" Asked the Doctor quietly. The nurse had fallen asleep on a nearby hospital bed, and she didn't want to wake up the nurse, due to her still-ringing-ears.
"Spoilers. I got out of the library." River responded. "And after 241 years there, I'm glad to be out."
"I thought it was better than-"
"It was, because I'm here now, aren't I?"
The Doctor nodded. "And I'm glad you are."
"Maybe, but not your fashion advice." The Doctor teased.
"Well, you need it. Also,-" River was interrupted by a poof. Fling was bald again. The blue nurse had walked by. It promptly grew back.
"You really should keep him."
"No chance. He sheds way too much. Also, he's kind of aggressive."
"But he's so cute!"
Yaz, Ryan, and Graham burst into the room. "Doc!" Said Graham as he caught sight of River and The Doctor.
"We've been looking for you." Said Ryan.
"Are you alright?" Added Yaz.
"Fine!" The Doctor said brightly.
"You have three?" River asked incredulously.
"Why not? Three is a good number. I like three." The Doctor said defensively.
River shook her head. "Three!"
"Doctor? Who is this?" Asked Yaz.
River stood up and turned to face the newcomers. "Professor River Song. Nice to meet you." She said. Then she turned back. "Three?" She hissed again.
"Yes, three! Why are you more surprised that I have three companions than the fact I'm a woman now?" River just shrugged. "River, this is my fam. No, team. I still can't decide!" She said, with a groan of indecision.
"Team Tardis..." River mused. "Not too bad. I'd prefer 'sweeties', though." She winked and gave them all a naughty grin.
"Why not? Jealous, sweetie?"
"Doc?" Asked Graham "How...Who is this?"
"I'm her wife." Responded River.
"Wife? You're married? Since when?" Yaz looked very surprised.
"Long story." The doctor explained, wrinkling her nose.
"I met her when I already knew her, (she was a him), but when I met her it was the first time she met me. Then there were weeping angels, my mother almost died, got pregnant with me, I got taken, and was raised as a psychopath whose purpose was to kill the Doctor. Instead I ended up killing a robot version of her-slash-him Also I married him-slash-her at the same time." River added. Ryan, Yaz, and Graham stared at her a bit blankly. "Three?" River asked again.
The Doctor dreamed she lost River again, and woke up suddenly.
River glanced up from where she sat on the floor. She held something in her hand and was fiddling with it. "Alright, sweetie?"
"You have my sonic!"
"I'm fixing it. There seems to be some frog slime that got in the circuiting."
The Doctor sighed. "Of course."
"There's some black fur, too. Fling."
"Where is he? And my fam? Team."
"Sweeties." River corrected. "And they're looking for the tardis."
"Not sweeties. And good."
"Dare I say yes?" She paused. "Why did you wake up?"
"Dream." The Doctor replied simply.
"Done." River stood up, and handed the sonic to the doctor.
The doctor examined it. She was satisfied. "Good as new."
"Of course it is." She sat next to the doctor. "I added a new setting."
"Do I want to know?"
"Probably not," River admitted with a smile. "What was the dream about?" The Doctor was silent. River smiled again, and took the sonic back. She pressed a button. The doctor covered her ears. Fling came running. "Okay, maybe I added two. Dog whistle!"
"I can hear that!" The doctor winced.
"Yes. Gallifrayans can hear at a higher frequency than humans."