Care For Your Dog | Teen Ink

Care For Your Dog

October 15, 2009
By BrianDunlop PLATINUM, Valley Stream, New York
BrianDunlop PLATINUM, Valley Stream, New York
35 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Ironically, dreams are what drives our reality." - myself

"Hello, my name is George Liquor, American.", said George Liquor, a man in a bath robe sitting on a big chair behind a fire place with a roaring fire, with a pipe in his mouth. "Today, I'm going to tell you all the steps for caring for your dog.", said George Liquor.
Step 1: Always make sure your dog or dogs are clean because cleanliness is next to Godliness.
(George Liquor is forcing Ren into a tub of water).
"What do you think you are doing man?!", said Ren. "Get in the damn tub!", says George Liquor. (George Liquor then gets Ren into the tub of water). "Look all nice and clean.", says George Liquor and then George Liquor winks. (Ren looks annoyed and wet).
Step 2: Always make sure your dog or dogs are in shape.
(George Liquor puts leashes on Ren and Stimpy and ties the leahes to the back of his car. Ren has a nervous look on his face, while Stimpy looks dazed with a stupid look on his face and his tongue sticking out. George Liquor goes into his car and starts the engine and drives while dragging Ren and Stimpy on the road). "That'll keep you boys in shape.", says George Liquor.
Step 3: Russian Roulette.
"Okay this is a game called Russian Roulette. There is three bullets in the chamber and there is six chambers the loser gets shot in the head. I'll go first." (George Liquor pulls the trigger and nothing happens). "You're turn Stimpy.", says George Liquor. (Stimpy puts the gun up to his head with shakey hands. Stimpy pulls the trigger and nothing happens). "It's your turn Ren.", says George Liquor. "No, I won't do it.", says Ren. In an anger voice George Liquor says, "Oh, you're a pansy. You're too afraid. If you won't do it, I will!" (George Liquor puts the gun up to his head and pulls the trigger and he shoots himself in the head).
Step 4: Walk outside with no pants on.
"Oh no! I have my pride and dignity. I'm no fool.", says Ren. "Oh, okay, you won't. I see, you're too much of a coward. A wuss. A pansy. You're no dog, you're a loser.", says George Liquor. "Oh no, I won't do it.", says Ren. (George Liquor then pushes Ren outside with no pants on and people are whistling and taking pictures and Ren is covering up.) "Come on Ren, it's not all that bad.", says Stimpy. (Ren bites his lower lip).
Step 5: Walk on to on-coming-traffic.
"Okay boys, go on. Go on.", says George Liquor. (George Liquor pushes Ren and Stimpy into on-coming-traffic and they instantly get hit by cars).
Step 6: Eat unproperly cooked blow fish.
(George Liquor reaches his hand into a fish tank and the blow fish gasps and he puts the blow fish in his mouth and he is tearing and he swallows it). "Okay, Ren, Stimpy, it's your turn.", says George Liquor and he is turning purple from the poision. (Ren and Stimpy shove the blow fishes into their mouthes and they chew on it while tearing and then they all drop dead because of the food poisioning).
Step 7: Bungy jump without cords.
(Ren, Stimpy and George Liquor all jump off a clif and land on their heads and the impact of their heads hitting the ground, made dents and cracks on the ground).
"That's about it for caring for your dog and if you listened to my steps, you will be a proper master for your dog or dogs. See you next time.", says George Liquor. "Yeah, see you next time.", says a beat up Ren and Stimpy.

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