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Today I'll Cry, But Tomorrow I'll Be Laughing
“I don’t understand the point of this,” Said Kristen. “Why do we have to do all of this extra stuff?” “Quit your complaining will yah. It isn’t all that bad. If you would just shut your mouth and do it, then you’ll be done with it in no time,” Brianna said. It was March 8th, and they had to write a story about someone or something that had to deal with the six biggest decisions you have to make in life. Things like, addiction, school, family, and friends. As much as Kristen complained, Brianna wanted to. But Brianna knew that it was for a grade and there was no way getting around it.
The only problem for Brianna was that they had to write a story. Brianna enjoyed writing and had no problem with that, but the fact that it had to be a story was hard. She was used to writing things like poetry, but sticking to a story line was difficult for her. The closest to writing a story she comes to is writing the slices and bits of stories that come to her randomly. All of which are irrelevant to each other, and she soon forgets why she even thought it was a good bit. She was quit persistent with her ‘writing bits’ though, and if she was inspired, she wouldn’t stop until the idea had faded. But Brianna had inspiration so strong that she had to fit a storyline to.
When Brianna got home that day, she sat down with a notebook and started writing. She wrote a story about a girl named Brittany, but the story was her own. She wrote it to her life story but changed the names of her family members to protect their identities. She started with, “’I hate this! I’m tired of all this crap! I want my step dad to die! Fall off of the face of the earth. What child deserves this from the person they look up to?”’ Brittany continued to rant, “’this really pisses me off! He needs to just drop dead!”’ Her little half sisters and she were playing around, play-slapping each other, and giggling. Both of her half sisters were eight year old twins. Lynn and Sable were their names, and Sable left a toy for Lynn when she left. Lynn took the toy and shoved it in Brittany’s face, and she playfully swatted it away.
It flew out of Lynn’s hand and landed on the floor. This angered Lynn and she left crying. Her father – Brittany’s step father- asked her why she was crying and both of the twins tag teamed up against Brittany, tattling on her. Lynn said, “’Brittany slapped my toy and it landed on the floor.”’ Sable chimed in and said, “’yeah, and she was slapping us.”’ Step father replied, “’Oh really? She did that? Humph”’ As her step father and half sisters talked Brittany listened through the thin walls. She heard the anger in his voice and knew what was coming. His thudding footsteps grew louder as he walked by then they stopped. To make herself seem busy, Brittany started to pile up the clothes that were on the floor. When the deep footsteps continued she grabbed the pile and stood by the door. Her step father slammed the door open and shoved her hard. Stumbling back, Brittany tried not to drop the pile.
He got in her face and said, “’you don’t touch my daughters you worthless piece of crap! I don’t care, I’ll beat the crap out of you! You have a problem with them then you come to me stupid!”’ He stormed off and Brittany tried to not show emotion. He was the only father figure she’s had since she was born so his words cut deep. Her older sister, Ann, was next to her the whole time, and tried to hug Brittany. But Brittany dropped the pile and went to her room. Leaving the lights off, Brittany sat down on her bed and grabbed her small bear. She started crying and talking to the bear. The bear was pink and really soft. Brittany had bought the bear for her mother as a birthday gift but her mother didn’t want it. She sobbed out small sentences about how the bear and she were alike.
They were both unwanted. He brought back so many memories of before.”’ Brianna stopped writing and closed her book. It was too painful for her to continue right then because the incident she wrote about, literally happened about fifteen minutes ago. Her face was hardened by the dried salt water left from her tears, as she stood up to place the notebook on her computer desk. It was nine O’clock and Brianna was tired from crying and writing so she started getting ready for bed. She changed then went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. She went to the kitchen to take her evening medicine, and then to bed. Her alarm went off at 5:40 but she didn’t get up until 5:50. She was so tired because the crying wore her out.
She hadn’t been that sad in a while. Recently Brianna had climbed out of a deep depression that she was in for years. She had reached a turning point in her life and was trying to change. So far she was doing well, but last night reminded her of the darkness and how comfortable she was in it. She had thoughts about seeping back in it, but changed her mind. She liked how things have turned out so far since she climbed out of it, and was happy. She left her house at 6:45 and got to school at 6:50. She normally gets to school really early and had a system she followed every morning. By first hour she was already steamed up. She didn’t like many of the other girls in the class because all they did was complain. She hated their laziness and always got frustrated with them. She got bored and started writing more to her story. “’Before….
The past was horrible. Her step father would kick them, punch them, pull their hair, lift them up by their shirts and toss them on the floor. He would shove them and kick them as hard as he could. It was literally “’’Hell on Earth.”’’ On top of the abuse she was bullied in school and hated her life. That’s when she started cutting. She wore darker close and shut herself out of life. It was literally was like she was dead. Presently, Brittany was a freshman in high school and was already thinking about next year. It was March so it kind of made sense to be. She used to be a good child. She respected her parents, replied with Yes ma’am no ma’am or yes sir no sir, but that had all changed since her step father got out of war. He became very violent and started cheating on Brittany’s mother. A while back Brittany was dating a boy named Adam. He was really sweet and respected her, and she really liked him. He asked her out and she said yes, but a week later they broke up.
Adam had told her that it was because he didn’t really know her, which was true. But Brittany really liked him still, so she tried not to hold it against him. They remained friends and got to know each other better. Since Brittany was in a deep depression she didn’t act herself. She was all closed up and anti-social. So she could understand why people were having problems with her. Since she was so insecure, people picked on her, and didn’t take her seriously. But Brittany had a plan. She tried to change. She strived to be better. She started acting herself, and sticking up for her thoughts and what little friends she had. Soon, more and more people started liking her and noticing her. She stopped being so insecure and gained confidence. She started taking her medicine now and it helped. Her friends increased like iPod sales, and her enemies vanished. She was now easy to get along with, very social, and very successful. She had changed so much that Adam realized that he really did like her and really cared. He liked her for who she really was and not the act she usually put up. She was herself, she was confident, and she was a better person.”’
Brianna stopped writing and decided it was finished. When she got home that evening she was busy typing up her story when her boyfriend texted her. Her boyfriend was tall, with dark hair and beautiful big brown eyes. His name was James. She loved him so much. They had gone out before, and then broke up. But now they were back together and she really loved him. They had been dating since January 9th and she couldn’t be happier. The text said, “Hey. I need to talk to you.” Brianna replied, “Kay. Whatz up!?” He replied, “I’m really sorry for doing this to you again, but we need to break up. I’m just not into you like that and it took me this long to realize it.
I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad.” Brianna teared up as she replied, “Ok. I understand. It’s understandable.” The same words she used the last time. This was the second time and she told him that there may not be a third. She stopped texting him and ran to her room. She grabbed her pink teddy bear and sat on her bed and cried. She was so upset that she found one of her old razors and ran to the bathroom. She sat on the floor leaning on the wall and started to drag the razor across her wrist hard. She repeatedly ran it across her wrist with great pressure until she got week. She stopped, let out a soft sob and passed out.