Never Again. | Teen Ink

Never Again.

December 6, 2009
By maki:p GOLD, Rocklin, California
maki:p GOLD, Rocklin, California
17 articles 1 photo 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The only journey is the one within" and "You can't help anyone who doesn't want to be helped."

Alex’s point of view(she is a girl):
It was the first day of junior year. It was a new school. I’d moved, again. 17 years as an orphan. 17 years moving around all the time. Never being adopted. Next year they would let me go. I would be a legal adult and they would let me leave. I’ve been waiting for that for a few years now. I used to have hope that someone would adopt me, that I’d start over. That hope had left years ago. After so many years switching orphanages all the time you realize nothing is going to change. You realize that you will be an orphan till you’re an adult and then that day can’t come fast enough. I’d resolved that I’d wait patiently. One more year, I could live. I decided to start with a goal. New year, new school. No one here knew me. First day. Only one goal: make sure everyone knew that messing with me was not an option. I didn’t really care about power or ruling the school. I just had my rules or rule, really. Don’t mess with me. You don’t mess with me and we’ll get along great, you do and then a war starts. A war that I will win. Don’t disrespect me, don’t insult me, don’t test me, and you’ll be fine. Every time I switched schools I always seemed to naturally just gain everyone’s confidence and trust. I didn’t try to rule the school or make everyone like me, it just happened. I liked everyone liking to be around me but ruling the school was not my thing. I’m not a violent person, I just have self respect. That’s all there is to it.
I walked to the school hoping that maybe the popular kids wouldn’t try anything. I arrived a little late and as I walked through the narrow front gates I nearly ran into this guy. He was wearing black jeans and a whit body glove shirt. One of those shirts that hugs close to your skin, made to show off your body. He had an eight pack. I could tell right off that he was one of those popular, rule the school kids. Ugh. Then I looked up. His hair was as black as I’d always imagined a black hole would be. It was kind of messed up; like no matter how much he brushed it it just wouldn’t stay. It looked good though. And his eyes. His eyes were a navy blue that stood out against his dark hair. His eyes made me want to melt inside them, forever lost. He met my gaze and I froze. I couldn’t move, no I could, I just didn’t want to. I wanted to be glued to the ground in front of his beautiful eyes and freeze time forever. I knew he was the popular kind of guy but in that instant I saw something more inside him. I swear I could see the very being of his soul. He was not the guy he pretended to be. I found that about a lot of people but never before had it been so clearly displayed that I could read them like I could a book. Some part of me wanted to stay frozen there forever, where no one was watching and we were so close I could touch him, but another part of me wanted to run as I saw and felt his deepest pains and worries and happiest feelings. I could tell they weren’t mine but I didn’t know why he or I was feeling them and it scared me to death.

Seth’s point of view(guy):
There I stood looking into the most beautiful eyes I’d ever seen. They were a dark but pale blue with hints of gray. They held a confidence I’d never understand. I wanted to lose myself inside her eyes and never come back out. Normally when I saw a girl they looked at me like I was hot stuff and I’d return the look with a cocky, arrogant smile. It told them to come closer. It was like lighting the fuse on a bomb. Slowly they’d come closer and then the bomb would go off and we’d hook up. It had to be the right day and the right girl. The girl had to be hot, arrogant, and most importantly, not innocent. An innocent girl would screw it up. She’d tell my girlfriend and not only would I lose her I’d lose my rep and status. It wasn’t something I liked to do. I just did it because it’s what got me up there on the ranks. Hit all the hot popular girls and you get in the group. I’d climbed the scale real fast. I could never find a way to stop kissing random girls even though I hated it. It was just part of my routine. I swear every time I saw a girl my instinct was to look her over and flash a smile. An old friend had taught me how and now I was better than he was. I hated it. Everyone says that hate is a strong word but I do I hate it. In fact I despise it. But here, with this girl, my routine broke. I didn’t want to flash her an arrogant smile or seduce her. I wanted her to like me for who I was. I wanted to be myself. I wanted to get nervous the way I always use to. I wanted to feel like I didn’t stand a chance. I wanted her to push me away so I knew I wasn’t invincible. But I wanted to hold her in my arms forever. I wanted her to help me be me again. I knew she could, I knew she would, and I knew I’d never let her go. Or so I thought. She turned and ran. She ran off school campus, she ran across the street and left me there alone when the bell for homeroom to end rang. I wasn’t invincible, I couldn’t have any girl. I only wanted her. I only wanted to hold her in my arms and never let her go. I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance. I was right about one thing though. She could help me be myself again and she had. Never again would I hook up. Never again would status be important. I would always be just me. I owe her my life.

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