A Wolf's Heart is a Selfish Place (part 1) | Teen Ink

A Wolf's Heart is a Selfish Place (part 1)

November 23, 2010
By Bella PLATINUM, Belleville, Illinois
Bella PLATINUM, Belleville, Illinois
20 articles 3 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"loving someone who doesn't love you is like worshiping the behind, of a wooden statue, of a hungry devil." -author unknown

It was raining heavily as I struggled to see the path in front of me and I slipped in the mud. Wiping the grim from my cheeks, I pulled myself to my feet and then I heard the baying of wolves nearby. Lightning flashed overhead, revealing a few pairs of eyes and I bolted. In the bush beside me, I saw glimpses of fur running beside me and my heart constricted in fear. My breath came out heavy as my muscles cramped and then I skidded to a halt. Two wolves blocked my path as the others surrounded me and I gulped. Despite the panic flowing through my veins, I admired the wolf’s beautiful pelts and sleek bodies. A bigger gray wolf, with almost human eyes stepped forward, he was most certainly an Alpha male, and his teeth were bared. His mate, a sleek white she wolf, circled me as she snapped at the lower ranking members and then he lunged at me with no regret. I screamed as his razor sharp teeth sank into my shoulder and I felt backward into the moist ground. The wolves sprang into action as they tugged at my cloak, fighting each other for a bite and I saw blood on their muzzles. One wolf caught my attention; he had angry yellow eyes and white fur. “Help.” I whimpered as a low growl rippled through the pack and the Alpha glanced up in surprise; the others froze. A beautiful black wolf stepped out of the woods, his grey eyes narrowed as he bared his teeth in a savage snarl and the others backed off. The Alpha glanced down at me for a moment, his mate looking at the new wolf in disbelief, but the Alpha seemed horrified and he gave a low whine as he steered the pack away. My savior wolf walked slowly up to me, keeping his eyes lowered so not to spook me and he gently licked my wounds. “Thank-you, Lyall.” I whispered as my body went limp in the mud and my eyes started to close in defeat. I heard a low pitiful moan as if my shield wolf was crying and I felt the lightest touch on my cheek before I passed out.

Warm hands examined my wounds as my eyes cracked open and a boy stared back at me. “Welcome to the pack, I’m James.” He murmured as I sat up slowly and I saw a few young wolves curled up nearby. “Where am I?” I asked as I drew my legs closer and he frowned. “Luke, our Alpha, has accepted you into the pack; you’re one of us now.” He informed as I glanced around and the grey Alpha wolf was looking our way; I gasped as I buried my face in my knees. “I don’t want to be apart of this, I want to go home...” I whispered as I heard him sigh and he rested his hand on my arm. “I know you’re afraid, we don’t hunt people, but it’s been a hard winter.” He explained as I pulled away from him in disgust and he flinched. “So that makes it okay to do this to someone?” I snapped as a low unnatural growl filled my throat and I pulled down my sleeve to expose a deep bite mark on my shoulder. “No, nothing justifies it, but that’s what saved your life.” He breathed as I rose to my feet and I couldn’t believe the look in his grey eyes; he believed that the wolves were innocent. “Part of me wishes they would have just killed me.” I spat as I went to the furthest corner in the cave, wolves blocked the exits, and he didn’t follow me. I cried myself to sleep.

I heard something sniffing me as I kept my eyes glued shut and a wolf nuzzled my silver blonde hair affectionately. My heart froze in fear as the creature waited patiently and then it whined. The sound was so pathetic that my eyes snapped open, only to find it dark, and a pair of grey eyes stared back at me with deep concern. “You saved my life, even if it was only to drag me here.” I muttered as I stroked his head gently and he leaned into my touch. Cautiously, as if he was afraid to frighten me, he laid down beside me and I buried my face in his coarse black fur. “Keep me safe Lyall, my shield wolf.” I whispered as his earthy scent calmed me down and he let me curl up against him as I began to drift again. The last thing I remember was him whimpering softly, like a lullaby, and the steady beating of his heart.

“Hey, it’s time to meet the pack.” James informed as he shook me awake and I blinked in surprise, my wolf had vanished. “Please, I just want to go home!” I begged as rested my hand on his arm and he looked down before pushing my hand away. “You are home, you’re apart of us now and someday you’ll understand.” He explained as I felt angry tears in my eyes and he looked ashamed. “My wolf would understand; he cares and he’s not a coward!” I snapped, wanting to make that knowing look in his eyes crumble, but he just shook his head. “You’re wolf isn’t as brave as you think.” He muttered as something glistened in his eyes and my will crumbled. Without thinking, I slapped him hard across the face as my anger took over and something knocked me to the floor. The Alpha’s mate pinned me to the rough floor, growling in my ear as James rubbed his cheek and I winced in pain. “Don’t speak about my Lyall like that!” I screamed as I twisted under her weigh and she nipped my arm, but it didn’t stop me. “Rosemarie it’s okay; let me handle the wild pup.” He insisted as he lowered his eyes to her level and she snarled dangerously. Shock flooded through me as a deep growl formed in his throat and she gave me one last nip before storming away. I ignored his hand as he tried to help me up and I crossed my arms as he led me deeper into the cave.

“That’s Isabelle, Salem, Ash, and Ivy.” James informed as he pointed out wolves and they looked up at me curiously. A green-eyed wolf, the one he said was Ivy; slowly approached us and she sniffed me cautiously. “She’s beautiful.” I murmured as I reached out and stroked her reddish pelt. Salem, a black wolf with a white patch on his shoulder, strolled up beside her, gently leaning against her and he nudged my hand. “Don’t let that go to your head, Ivy.” He teased as the she-wolf glared at him and Salem snorted. The tension in the air was broken and the last wolves slowly came forward and I noticed that Ash watched me carefully. “Where’s my wolf?” I asked as I searched the rest of the cave and Isabelle rolled her eyes at me. “He’s probably out hunting.” James coughed as he reached out to grab my wrist and I slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch me.” I warned as my lip drew back in a snarl and Ivy leaned against me; her softer fur relaxing me. “That’s a nice temper you’ve got there pup.” He growled as he took a step closer and I felt a wave of unease spread through me. He had protected me from getting ripped to pieces from Rose, but was it only to do the job himself? “Don’t call me a pup, my name’s Fayette and I got this temper from this nightmare.” I hissed as his eyes glistened dangerously and the wolves backed away. “I’m so sick of being treated like I’m your enemy; I’m trying to be nice!” He retorted as I rolled my eyes and I bared my teeth. Where did this anger come from? “You’ve done a miserable job then, way to make me feel at home!” I smirked and then his patience snapped. With a deep growl he lunged at me, knocking me to the ground and his arm pressed against my windpipe. Hatred filled my veins as I tried to bite him and I managed to roll him over. Using my weight, I straddled his hips and I wrapped my fingers around his throat. He threw me off him, I hit the side of the cave wall hard, and he came at me again. James pulled my arms behind my back painfully, sitting on my lower back, and his lips were next to my ear. “You are going to lose this fight, so you better give up now.” He breathed as my mind registered how warm his body was against mine and I struggled, but it only made it worse. “I hate you.” I whispered as he loosened his hold and I shook him off before fleeing to my lonely corner back by the entrance of the cave. He didn’t follow.

I curled up into a tight ball as heavy sobs shook my body and several wolves looked at me with distain. I didn’t really hate James, he just didn’t understand what I was going through and it made me so angry. I felt a new pair of eyes on me, looking up, I saw my wolf standing a few feet away with uncertainty in his eyes and the moment he saw my tear streaked face he came to me. “I wish you were human instead of James; you understand what I’m feeling, but he just expects me to be something I’m not, this isn’t my home.” I whimpered as I buried my face in his fur and he rested his head on my shoulder. A soft throaty sound escaped his throat as he nuzzled my hair gently and I listened to his heart beating. “I hope he’ll forgive me.” I sighed as I curled up on my side and his dark pelt pressed up against my body, keeping me warm. He sniffed the palm of my hand as if my scent calmed him too and he looked into my ice blue eyes. I saw a sad, disheveled girl reflected back at me, with the saddest expression on her face and my heart constricted in sorrow. It was in his eyes that I realized that James would forgive me and a shallow feeling of peace numbed me. “Don’t you ever leave me, Lyall.” I smiled weakly as I let a dreamless sleep take over and he stayed close to me like a guardian angel.

The author's comments:
This is inspired by my deep fascination of wolves and my unhealthy addiction to fiction. I'm dedicating this short story to my own personal "James". he knows who he is.

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