A Wolf's Heart is a Selfish Place (part 2) | Teen Ink

A Wolf's Heart is a Selfish Place (part 2)

November 23, 2010
By Bella PLATINUM, Belleville, Illinois
Bella PLATINUM, Belleville, Illinois
20 articles 3 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"loving someone who doesn't love you is like worshiping the behind, of a wooden statue, of a hungry devil." -author unknown

“Fayette?” James asked as I rolled over in my sleep and I jerked awake when I realized my wolf was gone. “I’m so sorry about yesterday; it’s just so hard to be here...away from my family.” I apologized as I looked down and he rested his hand cautiously on my shoulder. “I haven’t been treating you fairly, so it’s not really your fault.” He insisted as I glanced up and he pulled his hand away to respect my boundaries. “You put up a good fight though.” I teased softly as he laughed and the sound brightened the gloominess of the cave. “You’re not too bad yourself.” He admitted as he offered me his hand and I hesitated before I slipped mine into his. He pulled me to my feet, not letting go of my hand, and led me down a new cave path. “Where are we going?” I questioned as the walls grew narrower and I was forced to squeeze closer to him. “It’s a surprise.” He explained as we came into an opening and the cavern was lit up from a sky light. A deep pool of natural hot spring water shimmered a brilliant blue and I gasped. “It’s beautiful.” I murmured as I pulled away from him, his hand fell to his side, and I jumped into the water. Warmth flooded into my body as the dirt washed away from my skin and I sensed James floating beneath the water’s surface too. I kicked up for a breath of air and he surfaced very close to me. “I figured you might like a bath.” He chuckled as my eyes blinked open and he was just inches from me. “You figured right.” I smiled as my breath hitched from his nearness and he slipped his hand into mine. “I wish I would have been more understanding.” He sighed as he slowly closed the distance between us and his free arm wrapped around my waist. “I forgave you awhile ago; can you forgive me?” I mumbled as I looked up into his eyes and he smiled warmly.

“I already have.” He informed as he lowered his lips to mine and my heart froze. “Umm.....” I stuttered as I struggled to think and he lightly brushed his lips against mine for a second; it was almost like he was teasing me. “Does your heart feel like it’s going to explode too?” He wondered, but instead of waiting for an answer, he kissed me again, only this time he drew it out longer and I wrapped my arms around his neck in response. A soft sound escaped my lips as he pressed closer to me and his touch sent electricity through my veins. Carefully, he lifted me into his arms, keeping his lips secured on mine and he laid me down on the cold cave floor. With a surprisingly gently movement, he laid down on top of me as he moved his lips to the base of my throat and I pulled his mouth back to mine. I felt a deep connection between us, like a shimmering gold chord, and he drew away to look down at me. “Where have you been hiding all my life?” I questioned as he rested his hand on my cheek and he had a faint earthy scent. “I don’t know where I’ve been, my little Soulmate.” He confessed as he shifted so he was beside me and I turned to face him. “I thought my wolf was, but now I know; it’s you.” I admitted as something clouded his eyes and I kissed his forehead gently. “Maybe he is?” He muttered as I jerked away from him in confusion and he realized he had hit a nerve. “How can you say that, do you not want me?” I shouted as he reached for me, but I was already out of his grasp and I ran without looking back.

The ground beneath me grew rough as I raced barefoot deeper into the cave and darkness settled in around me. Fear ripped through my anger as I realized I was completely blind and I sank to my knees. Curled up into a tight little ball, I let my tears fall onto the cold floor and I rested in a knick in the wall. As it grew colder, I became drowsier and I fell asleep on the rough gravel floor.

“Fayette are you okay?!” James called as his voice echoed and he sounded far away. My eyes were heavy with sleep and I chilled to the bone. “James?” I muttered weakly as I heard him call again and I realized how close to freezing to death I was. The cave fell silent as he gave up and I shook with fear. One lone howl ripped through the darkness as my eyes blinked open in relief and a wolf nuzzled my cheek. My guardian licked my face in delight as he barked in happiness and I lazily ran my fingers through his pelt. “I’m so cold.” I whispered as he gathered the back of my shirt in his powerful jaws and he began to drag me down the tunnel. The rough gravel bit into my cheek as I whimpered in pain, but he didn’t slow and I felt how determined he was to get me to safety. Light filtered down on me again as my eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness and my wolf looked down at me in horror. I knew my face must be a mess, but I was barely conscious and I smiled weakly before I passed out.

“James, you have to tell her before she finds out on her own!” A girl’s voice insisted as my head felt foggy and I knew I must be dreaming. “What could I say, she’d hate me!” James retorted as I flinched from his tone and I wanted out of this nightmare. “She’ll forgive you, her change is beginning.” The girl replied as her voice softened and I felt a wave of warmth towards the speaker. “James, Ivy is right; the pack isn’t used to being in their wolf forms for so long and people are starting to question our decision, she needs to know.” A male voice pointed out, there was so much authority in the tone, and I groaned. “You’ll have to order me, Luke; I can’t bear to lose her.” He whispered as I heard footsteps walk into the cavern and I shivered from the cold blast of air they carried with their movements. “You will if you don’t hurry.” Luke murmured as he left us alone and I settled back down. “Wake up soon Fay, I’m so worried about you.” James breathed as he kissed my hand and I drifted into another more peaceful dream.

My eyes cracked open to find James passed out on the other side of a small cavern and I crawled over to him. Being careful not to wake him, I curled up in his arms and pressed my face to his chest for warmth. Automatically, he held me close as though he were awake, but his even breathes didn’t support the theory and he shivered from my cold skin. “Fayette, how do you feel?” He breathed as his eyes cracked open and he yawned. “I’m fine, just a little cold.” I admitted as he rubbed my shoulders to warm me up and I slowly felt life creeping back to my body. “You are my whole world, so don’t you every scare me like that again.” He ordered as I buried my face in his chest and he ran his fingers through my hair. “I’m so sorry.” I murmured into his shirt and he sighed. “It’s okay, I don’t blame you...it was my fault.” He muttered as he grabbed a blanket and he wrapped around my shoulders. “No, I overreacted.” I corrected as I kissed his cheek softly and he brushed a lock of hair from my forehead. “Are you always this stubborn?” He teased as his eyes sparkled and I wrapped an arm around his neck. “Only when I know I’m right or I want something.” I winked as he rolled his eyes and I kissed the side of his neck. “You’re so unpredictable, but so utterly addictive.” He confessed as he tilted my chin up and he kissed me deeply. “I love you James.” I grinned as he drew back to look at me and fondness was etched deep behind those beautiful eyes. Ivy patted into the room, her pelt glistening in the shadows, and I gazed at her curiously as she stared expectantly at me. “Get out of here!” James hissed as the fur on her hackles rose with anger and a growl sounded deep in his chest. She barred her teeth, making my skin crawl from this new image of a wolf I trusted and she turned her eyes on me. Silent messages passed between us, she was trying to tell me something important, but I didn’t understand and she snorted in frustration. “What’s wrong James?” I asked as I turned my eyes to him and he was shaking pretty bad. “It’s...it’s nothing.” He murmured as she took off and I knew in that instant that he was hiding something from me. “Tell me.” I begged as he turned his face from me and I reached out to touch him, but he pulled away. “You would never forgive me.” He sighed as his voice broke and he rose to his feet. “I’ll figure it out on my own then, if you won’t tell me.” I warned as I watched him flee and I felt a strange feeling coming alive in my veins. Had that really been a dream?

I woke up alone the next morning, James never returned to me and I felt very warm. Cautiously, I tried to sit up, but pain shot through my body and I whimpered, only it sounded more canine then human. Cold fear gripped my heart as I connected pieces together and I cried out in disbelief. The human-like expressions, the weird dream, and then the reason I was now apart of the pack; I was becoming one of them. They were hiding a life changing secret from me and now I had no choice to enter it blindly. My lips parted as my body jerked into an unnatural position and I screamed in pain. James rushed to my side, his eyes clouded with panic, and the air was tainted with the scent of his fear. “What’s...happening to me?” I demanded as I clenched my teeth to keep another scream stifled and he didn’t reply, instead he turned his back on me. “Step aside, I’m going to finish what we started; she doesn’t deserve to be apart of this pack.” A voice snarled as a man appeared and he had familiar yellow eyes. “You’ll have to kill me Yarrow; I won’t let you touch her.” James retorted as the man bared his teeth at me and another spasm of pain tore through my body. “So be it then.” Yarrow smirked as his body tremble and in the next moment a white wolf was in his place. With a deep growl, James lunged forward, his body changing as he went, and as I suspected, my wolf came out.

The two wolves snapped at each other, filling the air with the sound of a fray and the scent of fresh blood. My body gave another jerk as my back arched and then something inside broke free. I can only describe it as finding a side of me I had never known and my wolf spirit joyfully mended into my human one. Silver fur sprouted from my skin as my body transformed for the very first time and in my mind I heard greetings from other wolves in my pack. Picking myself from the ground, my wolf instincts automatically kicked in as I threw myself into battle beside James and I sank my teeth into Yarrow’s shoulder. Inside, I felt Ivy and the other rushing to our side to help out. Before they could rush in, James landed a killing blow onto our enemy’s throat and Yarrow collapsed to the ground, twitching as he died. My job was done as my body shivered and I knelt beside James; human once more. “You should have told me along time ago.” I muttered as I met his sullen grey eyes and wolves stood by the entrance; fascinated by the site we formed. I closed my eyes, trying to understand how this was even possible, and then I felt James’s warm hand grasp mine. “I’m so sorry; I was selfish, thinking that saving you would make you love me.” He sighed as I turned to glance at him and his face was masked in guilt. “I’m a little selfish too.” I teased as I leaned forward and I pressed my lips to his. Whatever he was about to say was lost as he pulled me closer and I heard Ivy laugh. “I guess it’s time you really met the pack.” She teased when we pulled away and I ran to her. “I have a feeling that we will be very good friends.” I admitted as I hugged her tightly and she grinned. “I’d like that.” She answered as she glanced back at James and he rolled his eyes.

After meeting the rest of the pack, all in human form, I was allowed to settle back down on James’s makeshift bed and it was wonderful to be curled up in his arms. “I should have realized earlier that you were my Lyall.” I sighed as I snuggled closer to him and his face was buried in my hair. “For awhile I thought you had, but I’m glad you know now.” He admitted as his breath tickled my skin and our wolf scents were mingled in the air. Since I had completed the change, my senses had improved and I knew every person by their own scent. “I am too; it’s nice to finally belong.” I added as he chuckled and I knew I would never want to leave our pack again. Its funny how becoming one of the wolves changed my perspective on them and no matter what they did to me; I would always consider them my family. “I must ask how you are selfish?” he murmured as his voice dragged me from my thoughts and I rolled over so I was facing him. “I’m selfish because I’m claiming you for eternity.” I explained as I twined my fingers in his hair and his eyes were alive with affection. “Well, I’m okay with that.” He winked as he kissed me and my heart pounded in my chest. We belonged together and together we would stay.

The end.

The author's comments:
The story was supposed to be in one piece, but i had to slipt it in two because it was too big. hope you enjoy the story.

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