The Necromancer | Teen Ink

The Necromancer

September 1, 2010
By AelitaReloaded PLATINUM, Scottsdale, Arizona
AelitaReloaded PLATINUM, Scottsdale, Arizona
22 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The pen is mightier than the sword" author unknown (to me)

I know I’m forgetting something, but I’m not sure what. I know there is a world around me, but I’ve never seen it. Not recently at least. I don’t exist. But here I am. I don’t know why, but I am. I died thirty years ago. Today, I woke up to the smell of lilies, dew, and did I mention decay? Eeew! Also, a coffin wall really doesn’t brighten up my morning, okay? People!

It took me the majority of the day to figure out how to escape my wooden prison. I finally had to break the door off, and use it as a shovel. Today, I saw my first light in thirty years… anyone got some sunglasses, because… Ouch!

This afternoon I visited my house. I don’t know what I expected, but it ceartainly wasn’t this. My mother was still living there, but she was OLD, also, get this, when you tell someone you’re their daughter who died thirty years ago, they slam the door right in your face, and scream a lot!

A man approached me, “Hello, Isabella.” He said, in a formal tone with a thick Russian accent.

“Who are you, and how do you know me?” I stammered.

“All in good time.” He smiled wickedly, “Follow me, I’ve something to show you.”

He led me into his house, and instructed me to sit down on his piano bench. It was dusty, as though it hadn’t been played in, well… thirty years…

“Your death was foul play. Your destiny is to be the greatest sorceress that ever lived. I was sent, to perform a necromancy spell, to bring you back to life. You need to establish a new identity, as I’m sure you’ve already realized.”

“You’ve been following me?” I gasped out.

“Yes.” He replied solemnly, “There are people who will tell you I am evil,” he began.

“…And? Are you?”

“You’ll have to decide for yourself, in the mean time, you have a lot to learn.”

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This article has 4 comments.

on Sep. 5 2010 at 10:47 am
AelitaReloaded PLATINUM, Scottsdale, Arizona
22 articles 0 photos 179 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The pen is mightier than the sword" author unknown (to me)

That was done intentionally, the idea was to make light of a dark subject!  The comment about the abrupt plotline are interesting- (I only wrote this story because I was bored and waiting.)

on Sep. 5 2010 at 5:07 am
fireeyedgirl SILVER, Dulles, Virginia
7 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think that most of us, anyway, read these stories that we know are not "true" because we're hungry for another kind of truth: the mythic truth about human nature in general, the particular truth about those life-communities that define our own identity, and the most specific truth of all: our own self-story. Fiction, because it is not about someone who lived in the real world, always has the possibility of being about oneself. "
— Orson Scott Card

this is a very interesting concept but it's very abrupt and the transitions between the events don't feel natural. Also, the comedy-mystery-horror is a little conflicting. With a little work I think this could be a really fun. Keep up the good work!

Would you mind reviewing my story 'An Ancient Family Portrait'? thank you

on Sep. 4 2010 at 4:28 pm
DiamondsIntheGrass GOLD, Martinsville, New Jersey
14 articles 1 photo 278 comments

Favorite Quote:
Worry is simply a misuse of the imagination.

it has a nice air o fmystery, but it is also very sudden, and not very believable.  you pu tin some thoughts that make it seem slightly like a comedy, but then its about a necromancer... it doesn't seem to fit right. 

VampireX GOLD said...
on Sep. 3 2010 at 7:25 am
VampireX GOLD, Spotsylvania, Virginia
18 articles 0 photos 81 comments
I like the story. The air of mystery.