People of the Light (Part 1) | Teen Ink

People of the Light (Part 1)

May 21, 2013
By nautiicaled BRONZE, Elk Grove, California
nautiicaled BRONZE, Elk Grove, California
1 article 0 photos 28 comments

“Shh.” The trees whisper as the sun begins to set. My heart beats a beautiful melody that never fails to accompany the sweet rhythm of my living breaths. There is little scenery to take in but I watch and I watch through my bedroom window awaiting the moment this inanimate world ceases to exist the way it does. Bending close to the dusty sil I analyze the afar movement. The little thuds against my chest grow stronger as an object grows clearer. A man of a broken heart at the least but a drunk nonetheless. He screeches old David Bowie tunes off key and dances in swerving motions. Poor soul. He is probably forty years old by the looks of his skin that appears to be trying hard to fight the aging. I can’t help but feel sorry for his bad fortune, I sympathize deeply. My heart sways at the thought of this pure mind about to come in contact with the unknown.

“This is his destiny.” I mutter to myself in order to resist the urge to be a hero. “This is his destiny.”

But alas, it is not my destiny to remain a bystander. No it’s not. I leap to my feet and race outside toward him. Shadows surround him and form into beings of some sort. I can’t bring myself to call them human because they aren't. They aren't human, they are monsters - creatures of the night. I shout for them to stop but they ignore my presence completely. I am nothing to them but I refuse to be insignificant here, this is my territory and I refuse. Yet I fall stricken. I gasp for air, but I am drowning on concrete. I stare at the shadow people with bulging eyes and hopes of air to fill my lungs as they once did seemingly ages ago. It’s channeling my mind causing images to flash in my minds eye and the sounds of fireworks to pop in my ears. Images of my childhood resurface all while my eardrums feel like they’re being blown out and I cringe. Shocks of electricity travel down my spine but I fight until I can’t fight anymore.

“The human is mine!” I scream but it comes out as a whimper. Then I fall. I fall into the darkness and I don’t come back. Then there is a light, subtle and dim but a light. I hold onto it desperate to know what lies beyond it. I pray that it isn't heavens doors but it’s too stale to resemble anything godly. It flickers making my heart mimic its exaggerated light dance. I finally realize I am still in my body, I can feel my bones aching so I must be hurt. It becomes clear to me that I am in a hospital, my mothers eyes frantic and exhausted staring at me from the corner of the room. She echoes my name but I don’t hear it. I fall back into the darkness.

I awake in a gasping breath and feel my mother hovering over me. She smiles a sad smile. She places her hand on my forehead and studies my face.

“What happened?” I ask.

“You were hit by a car my dear,” tears swell in her eyes “The driver says he only saw you when it was too late. He said you were hypnotized like a deer in headlights and tried to swerve but he couldn’t dodge you in time and you didn’t even try to move...”

“Am I okay?” I question.

“Who am I to know that Lana? Who am I to know?” Her voice trails off.
I clutch my ribs tight, I think I may have broken one and I sit up. She helps prop me up and I don’t protest it. The doctor waltzes in and proceeds to inform us that the xrays they took show signs of a very small crack in my rib. They said it was very clean and it won’t require much to heal except a little bit of time and taking it easy. My mother thanks the lord and I thank the doctor.

I am finally able to leave the hospital but I am on many painkillers that have yet to take away any pain. They said it will be another two hours before it wears off so they suggest I take some more as soon as time is up because although it seems like it’s not helping it will become much worse once I’m not taking them. I nod at their directions and wobble out of the glass doors and into the car with my mother.

Two hours later my head spins but not from the pain. I am in a vortex of emotions and then suddenly everything stops. The gentle beat of my heart, the quiet ache of my body, the hum of lamp all gone. Gone as the man I tried to rescue. Gone like my belief that the paranormal didn’t exist. Then I see it - a vision of death.

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This article has 13 comments.

HudaZav SILVER said...
on Jun. 25 2013 at 7:18 pm
HudaZav SILVER, Toronto, Other
8 articles 6 photos 390 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is impossible; the word itself says 'I'm possible'!" -Audrey Hepburn

you have such a nice style of writing, i loved this piece ! 5/5 =)

on Jun. 19 2013 at 1:14 am
Caesar123 DIAMOND, Union Grove, Wisconsin
50 articles 7 photos 103 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Madness in great ones must not unwatched go" --Claudius in William Shakespeare's Hamlet

A bit confusing, but I suppose that's what two parts are for.

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on May. 31 2013 at 2:32 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Incredible writing! I love the style, the description, everything!  I couldn't really understand the shadow figures, accompanied by the car, but maybe I'll find out in part two.  Great work!  Please comment on my story, The Voyages of the Waved Albatross, thanks!

on May. 30 2013 at 10:05 pm
bigthinker28 SILVER, Toledo, Ohio
6 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be”- Mark Twain

This was unique. You made a charecter steemingly supernaturaul but still very vunerable. Thats powerful. I think the conversation with the mother was a little to over the top for me, but thats just my oppinion. Over all though quality stuff.

on May. 30 2013 at 9:15 pm
BookNerd35 GOLD, Herod, Illinois
10 articles 1 photo 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are so many people out there who will tell you that you can't. What you've got to do is turn around and say, 'watch me.' -unknown

Great! Just like RoyalCorona said, I would love to see a sequel to this.

on May. 28 2013 at 1:52 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

Great job! It's a pretty good story and I would love to see a prequel and a sequel to this, I want some backstory and then I want to be thrown back into the action of this story! It's so gripping and well-written!

on May. 26 2013 at 10:46 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

A very entertaining read. I really would like to know what happens next. :)

on May. 26 2013 at 1:02 pm
nautiicaled BRONZE, Elk Grove, California
1 article 0 photos 28 comments
I forgot to ask what is the name of the poem? :)

on May. 26 2013 at 1:00 pm
nautiicaled BRONZE, Elk Grove, California
1 article 0 photos 28 comments
Thank you very much, I'll be sure to check that out.

on May. 26 2013 at 11:39 am
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

I like the suspense in the end.*

on May. 26 2013 at 11:38 am
LexusMarie PLATINUM, Las Cruces, New Mexico
27 articles 0 photos 423 comments

Favorite Quote:
The more control you have over yourself, the less control others have over you.

Hey there! I like the title, it's very interesting and appealing to the reader. I thought the picture went along with the story pretty well and brought a little darkness to it. I like all the thoughts of this character, they are really, really descriptive. All that is described in here is very clear and vivid for the reader and I enjoyed all the visuals. I like the switch of scenes, I thought you changed them pretty smoothly, I didn't feel like it was too fast or something was missing from the scene before. I like the suspense in the beginning. This was a good start, bravo. And by the way, I have a new poem up that was kind of similar to the beginning of this poem.

on May. 25 2013 at 6:34 pm
nautiicaled BRONZE, Elk Grove, California
1 article 0 photos 28 comments
Thanks I'll keep that in mind. Run ons aredefinitely my weakness. 

on May. 25 2013 at 6:05 pm
Melissa23 SILVER, Irondale, Alabama
5 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12

Pretty good article. I like the imagery you used. The only thing  would say is just watch out for the run on sentences. I was kind of confused in the beginning but maybe I was just having a moment. But other than that good start :)