The Vagabond Chapter 1: Fish | Teen Ink

The Vagabond Chapter 1: Fish

April 6, 2014
By uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself


It tingled. Everywhere it tingled. It hurt at first, but it was a good hurt. A familiar hurt. I could feel my body changing, rearranging itself. My face being pulled and stretched. Hair growing longer and thicker. Then came the light. It engulfed me like flames, swallowed me whole like a giant white mouth. I shook my foggy head and rubbed my eyes. The light was gone, replaced by a futuristic city buzzing with people.


I blinked and rubbed my stinging eyes. My least favorite part, the new eyes. Hurt like crazy for the first five to ten minutes. I slowly slid my hands down my face.
“Shave,” I thought aloud. “I need to shave. I don't own a razor thoulp!” I gulped through the last word, getting used to my new mouth and voice. I twitched as I felt my chin. “A butt chin. Again.” I sighed. I looked down at my arms and legs to make sure they were attached properly. The white lab coat that I wore used to be down to my knees. Now it was around my ankles and my supposed skinny jeans were sagging loosely below my waist. “Great. Shorter and thinner,” I grumbled as I tightened my belt and rolled up my pant legs. I ran my fingers through my hair. It was long, the ends curling around my neck. My stomach growled loudly. I felt the blood rush from my face. I dashed down the nearest street that I could find, trying to escape the busy city. I stopped to catch my breath against an old broken stop sign and slowly slid to the ground. “I'm gonna hurl. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten all of that fish before I left! New stomach.” I babbled, putting my head between my knees. I heaved. I gasped for breath, smelly vomit dribbling from my lips. I heaved again, throwing up all the fish that wouldn’t fit inside my new body.
“Are you okay?” I looked up and saw a pretty young women with light brown hair staring at me.
Looking up at the pretty brunette, I grinned sloppily. “Time travel. Always does this.” She frowned at me disapprovingly. “ By the way, what year is it? I think I set it for 2014, but I was in such a hurry I might have got the date wrong.”
“Would you like me to take you to a hospital or something?”
I shook my head. “No. This should all blow over soon. I just need to get out all the stuff that wont fit inside. Do you have any clothes I could borrow though? Oh! And a razor?”


The author's comments:
This is the first chapter of a novel that I'm writing. I hope you like it, and sorry if the first chapter doesn't make a lot of sense. It will all be explained in chapter two and three. Please comment and tell me wht you like/dislike about it and why!

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This article has 23 comments.


on Aug. 15 2014 at 5:29 pm
readaholic PLATINUM, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
27 articles 0 photos 425 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather fail because I fell on my own face than fall because someone tripped me up
~Jhonen Vasquez

You're so welcome!  Glad I helped you want to keep writing, because I definitely want to read more!

on Aug. 15 2014 at 9:56 am
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

Thank you! Comments like yours make me feel warm and fuzzy! For awhile I had lost the want to keep writing this, but I think I'll keep at it! Thank you again! (:

on Aug. 12 2014 at 7:02 pm
readaholic PLATINUM, Tomahawk, Wisconsin
27 articles 0 photos 425 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'd rather fail because I fell on my own face than fall because someone tripped me up
~Jhonen Vasquez

Great first chapter!  The first two senteces of the second paragraph feel a little redundant to me (as I read them, I thought 'didn't I just read that?') but other than that it was perfect :) great imagery, going to read the next part now!!

on Jul. 3 2014 at 7:09 pm
Olivia-Atlet ELITE, Dardenne Prairie, Missouri
325 articles 10 photos 1165 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To these the past hath its phantoms,
More real than solid earth;
And to these death does not mean decay,
But only another birth"
- Isabella Banks

Ok, I was just a little thrown off lol. Ireally enjoyed this!

on Jul. 2 2014 at 3:42 pm
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

It's not the Doctor. It is my own creation. Thank you for the feed back! It means so much to me! Thank you again!

on Jul. 2 2014 at 1:07 pm
Olivia-Atlet ELITE, Dardenne Prairie, Missouri
325 articles 10 photos 1165 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To these the past hath its phantoms,
More real than solid earth;
And to these death does not mean decay,
But only another birth"
- Isabella Banks

This si very good! I can see where you're going with hthis, and I love it! quick question, I'm a noob to the Doctor Who fandom, and was wondering if that is who the character is? I must seem really dumb, but yeah. lol Thanks for sharing this story, I love the detail! XD

on Jun. 13 2014 at 3:40 pm
WinterRose76 SILVER, Ok., Florida
6 articles 6 photos 183 comments

Favorite Quote:
Arise and be all that you dream - Flyleaf

You had me hooked right from the start! I love your writing style and how quickly your story moves along. Can't wait to read chapter two!

on Jun. 12 2014 at 6:17 am
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

Thank you! Hearing that means alot! I will try to make it a good story!

on Jun. 11 2014 at 10:20 pm
Z.V.Oksana PLATINUM, Harrison, Arkansas
22 articles 1 photo 60 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Maybe you can afford to wait. Maybe for you there's a tomorrow. Maybe for you there's one thousand tomorrows, or three thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around it, let it slide like coins through you fingers. So much time you can waste it.
But for some of us there's only today. And the truth is, you never really know.”
― Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall

Woah, you really caught my attention! Time travel stories are always awesome, and from what I see, this is the beginning of a really good time travel story. Time to read the second chapter, brb :)

on May. 28 2014 at 6:22 am
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

His name is actually Owl Ross. He's based off of my math teacher. And I have been working hard to make it my own! Thank you for your comment!

on May. 27 2014 at 5:18 pm
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
I really like this, you describe how you might feel if you regenerated really well. It kind of reaches out to the reader. My only critisizm is that I know u said earlier it's not based on Doctor Who but it does sound a bit similar. Matt Smith, Owl Smith... Matt Smith has a butt chin, Owl Smith does too... but i expect u'll put your own twist on it and the writing is very individual and clever :) sorry if i sound mean...

on May. 16 2014 at 3:00 pm
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

Thank you! Your feedback means a lot! I'm glad you found it lighthearted and mysterious! I will be uploading chapter 2 as soon as possible!

JRaye PLATINUM said...
on May. 16 2014 at 2:26 pm
JRaye PLATINUM, Dorr, Michigan
43 articles 10 photos 523 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you build your house far enough away from Trouble, then Trouble will never find you."

"Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, 'I just don't care.'?"

I love it! I love how vauge and mysterious it started out as, and then you were very straightforward and lighthearted going into it. AWESOME! :)

on May. 16 2014 at 6:53 am
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

Thanks! I am typing up the second chapter and will be uploading it as soon as possible! Thanks again! Your feedback means alot to me!

on May. 15 2014 at 7:09 pm
JJ_Lone PLATINUM, Davenport, Washington
27 articles 0 photos 73 comments
Awesome!!! You really had a good cliffhanger at the end. Now I want to read more. At first it was confusing bute at the end it helped

on May. 15 2014 at 1:59 pm
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

Thank you! I know that I didn't make the setting very much. I'm trying my best to change that with the second chapter. Thank you again! Your feedback means alot!

HudaZav SILVER said...
on May. 15 2014 at 11:09 am
HudaZav SILVER, Toronto, Other
8 articles 6 photos 390 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing is impossible; the word itself says 'I'm possible'!" -Audrey Hepburn

Woah! Very mysterious beginning to the book, I was hooked! I feel like maybe you rushed the explanation of the setting a little bit, just because it was so interesting and I would love if you expanded on it. I am looking forward to reading more =)

on Apr. 27 2014 at 7:33 am
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

No, its fine. I kinda figured it would happen eventually. But thanks for the feedback! It means alot! I will try my best to make the second chapter even better!

on Apr. 26 2014 at 9:21 am
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

I'm sorry for the mistake, I guess I jumped to conclusions there. It is a bit similar to Doctor Who, but only with the face changing - at the same time, it's also very different. The plot idea is brilliant, and truly, very original. A watch that forces him to time travel, and he has no way of removing it; very clever. I am again sorry that I assumed it was a fan fiction - I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. 

on Apr. 25 2014 at 1:56 pm
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

This isn't fan fiction. It's about my original character Owl Smith who ran away from his past and ended up finding a time machine in the shape of a watch/hourglass. He can only stay in one time for two months and because the machine is broken his face changes every time he uses it. He is also unable to take the watch off. Thanks for your comment though!