The Cursed Man | Teen Ink

The Cursed Man

December 2, 2008
By Anonymous

Once upon a time there was a man who was strange and he did not like strange people who he did not know and he was also scared of people walking by his house the people in the town thought he was cursed. He was an old man who lived alone in his house and did not make friends in the town; the people in the town called him Mr. Black. Mr. Black did not have any family, during the day Mr. Black sits by his window and watchs the people pass by his house. One day I walked by Mr. Black’s house and he was coming out of his house and he saw me walking by and I said, ‘’Hi my name is Victoria you must be Mr. Black’’ he said, ‘’Yes I am Mr. Black’’. I came close to him and said, ‘’I am the only living family that is left I am your daughter’’. ‘’No you can’t be my daughter! You are not a Black you are not the person in the family!’’ ‘’Yes I am all the family that is left all the other family are dead including my mother and your sons’’. He was in shock and anger ‘’that can not be true after I divorced your mother she was fine’’. ‘’A few years after you split up she got sick with cancer
and your sons got sick with leukemia’’. Mr. Black asked, who got my will?’’ ‘’I was entitled to get the will when I was 18’’. ‘‘How old are you Victoria’’? ‘’I am 18 and I am entitled to have the will and the house and the money mom has in her bank account’’. He was still in shock and anger. He said in an angry voice, ‘’I do not believe that you have everything in the will! Show me the will now!’’ He stepped close to me and I said, ‘‘I have the will with me.’’ I took the will out of my bag and gave to him he read it and said, ‘‘you are right you own everything in your mother’s will’’. He read it aloud, ‘’it says here that Victoria owns everything in Mary Black’s estate it also says that John Black is also the father of Victoria Black until she is 21 years old and that John has to live in Mary Black’s house on 557 Chester street so John has to leave his house where he currently lives and live at 557 Chester street’’. He stood a gap at the words on the pages of the will and put the will in his pocket and went into the house and gathered his belongings and said, ‘’Lets go to your mothers house now’’. He got his car keys and started the car and he said, ‘’Get in the car now’’ I got in the car and he drove down the block to the house and got out of the car and went up the steps to the house and found a note tucked under the door knob. I opened the note that said: Dear Victoria,
I hope you know that I am upset as you at your father and me divorcing I will explain when I arrive in a week from Boston with your step dad and stepbrothers and sister.


I stood in horror at the page. My mom is alive and she is remarried with a whole new family I am so angry that she never told dad or me that she got remarried. I went in the house and saw dad at the table and said, ‘’I have to tell you something,’’ he looked up at me and said, ‘‘what is it Victoria?’’ ‘’She is alive and remarried with stepchildren and new husband’’. My dad was shocked and angry he said angrily, ‘’HOW COME SHE NEVER TOLD US!!!!’’ I looked at him shocked that he would yell at me and it was not my fault that she got remarried. Dad asked,’ Are you upset with the letter’’ I thought about it and said, ‘’No but shocked that she would not tell us’’ dad looked sad and said, ‘’me too I am as shocked as you about it’’ ‘’ I am going up to my room Dad’’ ‘’ Okay’’ he said I raced up to my room and sat down to think about what the letter had said it said that mom was coming back and will explain everything. A week later Mom came and explained everything and we all lived together and dad was not cursed anymore and everyone. Was not afraid of dad and were his friends.

The End

The author's comments:
i am just a starting writer be kind

Similar Articles


This article has 3 comments.

on Jun. 1 2022 at 11:45 am
CiaraLBennett, Stevens Point, Wisconsin
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Hey I am also A new writer and I am try my best, and it sounds very good! :)

on Jan. 12 2019 at 8:16 pm
Soup1039 PLATINUM, Christiana, Pennsylvania
31 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
-Marilyn Monroe

This story is great fundamentally. However, you can’t shy away from improving and critiquing your art to get better. The major part of improving your piece is the emotion, and how your sentences convey that feeling. When you want the reader to feel the sadness of the character, make them feel sad. Describe how they felt, in detail; For example, if a character is angry, make the reader feel it so its almost tangible. Show, don’t tell,

iKaye BRONZE said...
on Feb. 12 2010 at 1:25 am
iKaye BRONZE, Lorette, Other
2 articles 9 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
1 Tim 4:12 Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

(Grad text)

This may be a good story, if worked on. The sentences have no feeling. And teh story is very roughly put together, and fast and choppy.

Keep working on it.