I Know They See Me | Teen Ink

I Know They See Me

January 30, 2013
By Maria Anthony BRONZE, South Bend, Indiana
Maria Anthony BRONZE, South Bend, Indiana
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

They huddle,
And snicker.

I turn away,
Close my eyes,
And breathe.

I know they see me.
A couple laughs grow louder,
Their sick smiles widen,
A few more fingers poke.

Why do they not feel guilty?
Can they truly convince themselves
I don’t hear? Don’t realize?
I know they see me.

Pain envelops me,
Its arms encompass me.
It destroys my barrier.
Swift, strong and unstoppable.

Feeling so surrounded
Should hold me together,
Should be a comfort.
It is ironic how it tears me apart.

My head begins to itch,
My hands start to ache.
I tell myself I can’t…
But I’ll eventually lose control.

One by one,
My hands develop minds all their own.
They raise to my face like machines.

I pick,
I pull,
I squeeze,
I cry.

I don’t know why
I struggle to keep
A natural authority
Over my own body.

My fingers twist and turn,
All I know is I need
To soothe my anxiety,
To diminish my suffering.

My fingers travel,
Against my will,
Across the landscape of my eyebrows,
Over the scabbed terrain of my scalp.

Pick, pull, squeeze.
It is effortless.
A pattern I’ve memorized,
All too well.

I’m unsure
What good they think will come,
What will be the beneficial effect
Of their cruelty.

In the bathroom,
I stare in the mirror.
I’m different.
It’s visible.

My eyebrows—gone.
My eyelashes—gone.
Bald spots on my scalp.
No wonder they mock.

It is strange that I feel
How much the teasing hurts,
Yet I am powerless against the attacks
That cause them to taunt.

Maybe they hope
I’ll be more like them.
Maybe they hope
I’ll disappear.

In extremes,
In their darkest time of torture,
They may hope
I’ll end my life.

But for some reason,
No escape will work successfully.
Trust me,
I’ve tried.

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This article has 6 comments.

on Apr. 2 2013 at 9:16 am
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

I love this!! It's so meaningful, and it feels SO realistic, like someone could recite this on their deathbed... I really like how you didn't make it rhyme. While rhyming can add mystery, I think sometimes it shouldn't be done because it can place a childish tint on any piece. I love what you've done with this! Fantasticjob.

on Mar. 1 2013 at 6:02 pm
99joselyn SILVER, Chicago, Illinois
5 articles 0 photos 8 comments
Wow, just wow! This is so good! Speechless.

on Feb. 3 2013 at 2:26 pm
Desmothenes Locke GOLD, Cresskill, New Jersey
13 articles 0 photos 21 comments
Don't feel bothered by anyone low enough to do that to you. Stay strong. 

on Feb. 3 2013 at 12:15 pm
shapeshifter56 GOLD, Cave Creek, Arizona
14 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Instead of waiting for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain."
--Unknown Author

This is a wonderful piece of work. Beautiful.

on Feb. 2 2013 at 11:28 am
LinkinPark12 PLATINUM, Lincolnshire, Other
45 articles 1 photo 198 comments

Favorite Quote:
Work like you don’t need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching. ¦ I like change - but only when everything stays the same.

this is....wow. just wow. i love this.

on Feb. 2 2013 at 9:33 am
vidhishah121 SILVER, Vadodara, Other
7 articles 1 photo 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

this. is. beautiful. I don't know how you did it but it is really touching...hope you keep writing such stuff...:)