Breaking Down the Judgement Syndrome | Teen Ink

Breaking Down the Judgement Syndrome

May 27, 2012
By vamika_s PLATINUM, Gaborone, Other
vamika_s PLATINUM, Gaborone, Other
39 articles 0 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Colour my life with the chaos of trouble"

Between superficial Hollywood girls, airbrushed models and boho hippies who preach to "always be yourself, you're beautiful", it's no surprise that teenage girls like me, are left in a pretty confused daze. We're not exactly sure if we should look in the mirror and call ourselves beautiful or accept the doomed fact that the zits on our so-called pretty faces are an absolute disgrace and we must continuously work to eradicate all visible imperfections and try to look as much like the girl with the impossibly shiny hair from English class. It's not just us though. Even pop stars are confused. For example, Miley Cyrus croons in her song from back-in-the-day (the Hannah Montana years) that "Nobody's Perfect" while Selena Gomez sings "Who says you're NOT perfect?" P!nk chimes in with "You ARE perfect" almost making it sound like a war command. Which leaves us poor girls asking " Um excuse me, am I perfect or not?" To be quite honest, I don't even like the word "perfect." I think it's way too overrated. All these girls constantly striving to be something they're not (society's idea of "perfection") and ending up with a totally botched situation i.e. Demi Lovato landed in rehab with an eating disorder and a frighteningly alarming wake-up call. But I'm not gonna talk about boring ol' celebrities right now. I do too much of that already, being me.

The problem is, the judging. Ding ding ding, we've arrived at the root of the problem!
Somehow, everybody knows and thinks deep down that life is this giant show where if you're not like the cool girl, you're immediately cast off and labeled "misfit. They know that in reality, looks DO matter, first impressions are everything and inner beauty is a bogus topic introduced by people who were too tired of the cliched, high-school movie pretty/dumb girl-ugly/smart girl thing. Not that inner beauty doesn't matter. It totally does. But for bitter, judgmental people that, in my opinion, the world has way too much of, inner beauty is simply something to laugh about. The fact is, the entire human race is judgmental, as much as we all hate it. Some are only slightly infected with the judgmental-ness disease we are plagued by, but others are all out, full on judgmental freakazoids. We can't help it. It's set in our DNA. This "judging syndrome" I like to call it, is simply impossible to cure and frankly, it's the main root of all insecurity and negative feelings. Yup. It's the killer. This peer pressure, what others think of you and all that stuff. Who cares? Why do you have to follow society rules made by shallow, insecure people who don't understanad the concept of appreciating the REAL essence of people? Why, why, why? Beats me, really.

I am tired of hearing my mother say "This woman's absolutely crazy!!" every time our lovely mother-daughter conversations slip into pop culture mode and we end up talking about Lady Gaga. Or when we see a picture of the star in a magazine. Okay, come one!

I admit, arriving in a human-sized egg to the Grammys and wearing a meat dress is a little out there but atleast, ATLEAST, that is really who Lady Gaga is. She doesn't care if PETA turns up their snotty noses against her or the whole world thinks she's mad. She is who she's always wanted to be and she's happy with it. Who really cares if people think she's bonkers? Her fashion is her art, her personality. It defines her and stands for who she really is. Poeple like Agyness Deyn, Nicki Minaj and Jessie J. I really admire them actually. They don't CARE if people call them crazy or mad or freaks. You shouldn't either. I personally think that they are iconic because they are them. They are who they want to be. They do whatever they like and don't care what people think. That's what you should do too. Sure every girl has her insecurities. Heck, I was the nerdy girl with glasses and braces last year because people couldn't look beyond that. What do you think, I felt like? Mostly bad and negative, really. You know what? I. Don't. Care. Now.

I am me and I'm happy with myself. It's time you started accepting yourself and who you are as a whole. Make a mantra. Remind yourself everyday that NO ONE in this world is exactly like you. You're unique that way. Just like a fingerprint.

So just STOP.

Stop the snivelling, the crying. the anger, the stressing and self-pity. So what if you're different? So what if you're the only girl in your school who loves wearing tie-dyed harem pants? So what if you're skinnier or fatter than the average girl? So, WHAT?

The world isn't gonna end and neither is your life. People whisper and gossip. It's their job to do that. But I can tell you one thing. Words make bruises but not when you're wearing a suit of armour. And I'm saying this from personal experience. Trust me, you have my word.
So stop listening to your peers, to your family, to stupid, glossy fashion magazines, and start listening to yourself. Nobody's opinion is higher than yours. And that's the truth.

The author's comments:
I wrote this taking from my own experiences of insecurity and being targeted by mean girls. I wrote this bearing in mind all those children who felt they needed to end their lives running away from people's awful words. I see girls in my own school who are constantly trying to be something they're not. It pains me to see them, me, all of us, struggling to achieve something impossible when we are already wonderful and unique in our ways. I've looked in the mirror countless times and felt horrible and hopeless by what I saw. But I know how important it is to accept all your flaws and move on with your life. And I wanted to share this with everyone who's ever felt horrible about themselves out there...

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