Pain comes from where you least expect it | Teen Ink

Pain comes from where you least expect it

July 8, 2021
By AdiSilver GOLD, Navi Mumbai, Other
AdiSilver GOLD, Navi Mumbai, Other
14 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
God gave me depression because if my ambition went unchecked I would have bested him in hand to hand combat by age 16


I was a loner then. Like the stereotypical one. Sits alone, does not talk to anyone, keeps to herself, good at studies, very shy, hates group projects and say some really weird things. I was only 10. I didn't have any friends. But I was fine. 

 

Because the reason I didn't have friends was I was strong. I didn't let people push over me. I fought back. I guess, the bullies didn't like that.
But after some time, I got tired of being strong. Tired of being alone. I felt sad.
So, when a group of girls asked me to sit with them, I did. And that's how I started letting myself be used and abused.

For the first time, I felt that I belonged somewhere. That I was needed. I was happy.

Things were good for a while. We had fun. I laughed so much. But, nothing good ever lasts long. Soon after, I began seeing their real personality. I thought they were good people, who actually cared about me. But, I guess I was wrong.

They hurt me, ignored me, bullied me if I didn't listen to them. But I was stubborn. I would rather them hurt me, than do something I didn't want to.

The last day I talked to them, I tried to make peace. I guess, I was afraid, if I let them go, I would never find anyone again. I thought I was the one who was wrong. Maybe it was my mistake. I kept holding on.

They kicked me in the gut. I was lying on the steel floor of the school bus. I looked at the older students. They only looked on and laughed. I got angry. Tears threatened to spill, but I didn't want to give them the satisfaction. So, I glared. Wrong decision. They kicked me again.

When I finally got up, the older students said that they were just kidding around. I should let it go.

And I did. I let go of them.

Because I would rather be alone all my life, than let some evil pyscho's dictate what I should do.

I can live the fact that I am probably going to be alone forever.

But I cannot live with myself, if I ever gave up my freedom and my personality for anyone.

 

I loved myself. And I am enough for myself. 

 

I am free. 



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This article has 1 comment.


Lydiaq ELITE said...
on Jul. 16 2021 at 12:22 pm
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
160 articles 45 photos 1023 comments

Favorite Quote:
The universe must be a teenage girl. So much darkness, so many stars.
--me

Jesus says that he will make you His child if you call on His name and believe in Him. It is hard to believe, but with Jesus, you can belong and be loved forever.