Trampling My Prince Charming | Teen Ink

Trampling My Prince Charming MAG

March 30, 2010
By penguinobsessed BRONZE, Grapevine, Texas
penguinobsessed BRONZE, Grapevine, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 1 comment

If the world is an oyster, I am still looking for my pearl. That shiny little bit of happiness or that one special person who will make all my cynicism and the evil in the world drift away, leaving me with my personal ray of sunshine. Unfortunately, I have become aware that such a gem may be a figment of my imagination. Perhaps, all there really is in this world is the intangible concept of change, unpredictable, unreliable, and ever-present. And quite possibly the only pearls the world has to offer are the small joys and contentments that lie in the spaces between each misfortune and shattered heart. The cheesy end-of-movie music may never play for us.

Since the tender age of six, I have known that there are no fairy-tale endings. This realization came to me while I was hiding inside my pop-up playhouse, wearing a princess dress. The saturated color of the fabric walls warped the world around me, turning my playroom into a torrent of ominous shadows cast by the midafternoon sun.

I could hear my parents' angry screams from the living room. I clutched my stuffed dog, Dots, as my eyes welled up and hot tears blurred my vision. The scary shadows on the walls taunted me as I shook the playhouse with my sobs.

I didn't know what they were fighting about. I just knew I wanted them to stop. My parents' blatant display of distaste for each other was forcing me to rethink their relationship. But I was only six. I did not want to.

My father roared from the living room. I could hear my mother yelling in a fit of sobs. Then, as the screams hit a crescendo, I heard glass break with a deafening shatter.

For a moment, the world was still. There was no more yelling, no more screaming. My mother had thrown a vase, and it had hit the counter and shattered into a million pieces, making it clear to everyone that she was not going to stay silent anymore.

There was no fairy-tale ending like I had seen in countless Disney movies. I was not Cinderella. All I found was a broken relationship that would be the backdrop of my life for the next 12 years.

Apathy toward love had not yet dawned on me, however. Tinkerbell still had me believing that a perfect relationship could exist. I was convinced that perhaps, if I slept long enough and dreamed big enough, everything would be all right. Life slowly went back to that odd state of normal, and while my parents' relationship continued to dwindle, I remained an annoyingly positive child.

But looking back, I pinpoint that mighty shatter of glass as the real end of my romantic heart. I could target my parents' divorce, or the loss of my first love, Brendan from seventh grade, but I truly believe it was that crash that altered my perspective.

Every time I become close to someone, I am aware that one day a vase might be thrown. Shameless flirtations and self-indulgent fantasies of walking off into the sunset cannot tame my overwhelming sense of confinement, of commitment. Sometimes, romance is not enough. And, when the anger and emotions refuse to recede, I might have to be the one to shatter the glass, a break I am not sure my heart is ready for.

So, rather than seeking relationships my cynical heart will always deem doomed to fail, I instead seek happiness in small things. I find joy in laughing with friends until my stomach screams for mercy. In giving my cat a hug after a long day. In the inexplicable euphoria that overcomes me when rain hits my face, drenching my hair.

And while I might not ever find my Prince Charming, or that coveted pearl in my oyster of a life, I will continue to find small gems of happiness in my world. I will continue to smile. Because while I don't know if there will be a happily ever after at the end of my story, I am ready to make each day glisten in the sun and dance in the rain.

The author's comments:
I hope this piece give critics of romanticism (such as myself) or more positive, realistic outlook on life and relationships.

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This article has 6 comments.

Sparaxis GOLD said...
on Jan. 23 2017 at 6:40 pm
Sparaxis GOLD, Saint Marys, Georgia
13 articles 1 photo 307 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you keep on picking on me, I'll mess up again. This time, on PURPOSE."

I've seen plenty of relationships end badly. If love's SO great, how come it never seems to have a happy ending?

Sparaxis GOLD said...
on Jan. 23 2017 at 6:39 pm
Sparaxis GOLD, Saint Marys, Georgia
13 articles 1 photo 307 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you keep on picking on me, I'll mess up again. This time, on PURPOSE."

Ah, love. It's a total faker. I'm not as optimistic as you, but I'm a lot like you, except that I really don't care for romance.

Artie11 said...
on Feb. 6 2011 at 7:15 pm
Artie11, Brattleboro, Vermont
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Beautiful :)

You had me from the very beginning!

on Feb. 2 2011 at 8:50 am
kennapie12 SILVER, St.helens, Oregon
6 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
Stand up for something even if it Means standing up alone.

This is amazing!!!! If i said i understood, who does? But i am also like always trying to find the good side of things instead of the bad, that is lurking!!! You did an amazing job writing this!!

on Jan. 31 2011 at 7:29 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2206 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"

Lovely, simply lovely :)

Living in the present, perhaps? The best way to go, in my opinion.

Thanks for writing this, and for sharing it with us, the online world of teenink.

on Jan. 31 2011 at 2:07 pm
NonsensicalMuse PLATINUM, San Anotnio, Texas
22 articles 0 photos 87 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is nothing wrong with having your head in the clouds as long as you don't get altitude sickness"

"Perhaps you are right,perhaps not. I don't know 110% either way.All I know is that Im in search of truth. If you are too, let us be friends."