Does My Dream Guy Exist? A Change of Heart. (Part #2 of "Why Date?") | Teen Ink

Does My Dream Guy Exist? A Change of Heart. (Part #2 of "Why Date?")

April 10, 2012
By MagicPen GOLD, Victorville, California
MagicPen GOLD, Victorville, California
10 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care"

About a year ago (almost exact) I wrote "Why Date? An Argument Against Teen Dating.” Well, here's part two.

I stumbled across my old article by pure coincidence today. I was actually testing my "journalistic powers." Yeah okay, I was Googling myself. Haha. But anyway, when I read it and read the comments, some things didn't sound right. I mean, just look at my title, "an argument AGAINST teen dating." Wow. I'm not exactly leaving any space in there for someone to open up and share their "true feelings", huh?

I was mad when I wrote that article. My friend just had her heart broken, and I had had it with dating. I'm one of those strong, independent-type girls who (obviously) doesn’t have a problem speaking her mind. But anyway, I wasn't clear before.

I wasn't saying "yes" or "no" to dating. The whole article theme just sounded like "don't dare date" because I was so stinkin' mad at the time. But really, I was trying to explain my confusion.

The reason I don't understand is because I want a certain type of guy. . And I thought he existed. And I thought that it was a total OBVIOUS thing and that EVERY girl wanted this kind of guy. But I guess I was wrong. And that's okay. “To everyone their own, as long as it's not immoral, unethical, or illegal."

So this is “my own”.

I thought that a guy who was worth it, a guy who really cared, would wait for me (which meant no dating). His affection wouldn't falter. And he wouldn't leave if I were to brush him off or maybe even hurt him, but he’d stay strong, knowing there’s no one else for him but me. And he'd be content just being my friend. Just having any excuse to be with me, because he loved me for me, not for what I could give him through dating.

When the honeymoon feeling dies down, what you have left is the friendship you share. That's more important to me than the lovey-dovey emotions of having a boyfriend. I want to strengthen my friendship with him. Not focus on the affection and infatuation, which is temporal (and will come and go depending on my mood, I'm not gonna lie).

I want to marry my best friend.

Have you heard that saying before? Or something that sounded close to it? They never say "I want to marry my boyfriend." It doesn't seem to carry the same deep, emotional bond.

This is the guy in general I’m talking about. IS he out there, for any girl?

Now specifically. .
The guy for me needs to be honest. It’s the quality I admire most. (It’s also because I’m a snoop.) He needs to be strong. I’m too independent for my own good. If I am to “submit to my husband,” like it says in the Bible, and respect and follow him as a wife, he needs to be stronger than me. And he needs to love God more than he loves me.

I understand that a strong relationship with God doesn’t come overnight. But I still wonder. Is it too hard for a guy to be that way? An honest and godly leader. Am I asking too much?

I thought that if I could be strong enough (I mean, heck, I haven’t even kissed a guy because I’m saving myself to be a gem for my future husband) and I thought that if I could be that strong, that he, the guy for me, could be strong enough too. Because I'd be worth it.

But tell me. Is there such a guy out there? Girls, what do you think? Guys, is it possible for you to be him? (No, guys, I’m not asking for a date. I just want you to look inside yourself and see if it is possible.)

I’m strong. And frank. Hardheaded. I can over-do my sarcasm and tell you things you don’t want to hear. I have a sense of humor that makes dogs gag. I can be rough around the edges and some things I say come out sounding malicious when I absolutely don’t mean it. And I’m prideful. . There are good things about me, too. But my point is: I’m not asking for perfection.

So. Am I a romantic? Honestly, I think I’m rather sensible. But I’m open to the “you’re totally insane” discussion (I actually find that discussion entertaining). Or, from you more polite readers, “honey, that’s a sweet dream. . but no.” So whatever works. I just want to hear a vast number of opinions. Tell me what you’re thinking.

Yes. I'm still waiting for him.

The author's comments:
I've had a change of heart. I was mad when I wrote my first article, "Why Date? An Argument Against Teen Dating". Now that I'm level headed, it's time to clear things up.

And, I have a question: is it possible for my dream guy to exist? Girls, what do you think? Guys, could you be him?

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This article has 1 comment.

yaaaaaaa said...
on Sep. 28 2013 at 2:48 am
I gotta say, I read the last article too and I can really relate. Your dream guy sounds pretty similar to mine. A guy with morals and strength must exist - I think - because things can never exist without opposities, so if the opposite exists, then such a guy must too. In my opinion, he'll find you when you least expect it. I hope we'll find them.