A letter to my love | Teen Ink

A letter to my love

April 24, 2013
By Killjoy_Parade GOLD, Scottsburg, Indiana
Killjoy_Parade GOLD, Scottsburg, Indiana
17 articles 4 photos 90 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You got killed. *explody sounds* Chuncks of s*** flying outta you." - Gerard

They say it takes a split second to have a crush, but a month to fall in love. Eight months. That's how long you think I waited...when the truth is I've waited all my life. Since the day I met you I knew you would become a huge part of my life and I was right. It all started around fourth or fifth grade when you first moved here. It started out as an innocent crush but spiraled into so much more. Over the next few years I would get to know you, but not well enough to say we were close friends. Then again you were, and still are, distant from people so that made it difficult. Over the years I thought my crush had faded, but the flame never dimmed. If anything, it became brighter. Quite sometime later, came the faithful day in seventh grade. Our choir competition. It was supposed to have just been the eighth graders but Mr.E thought we were good enough to go too. We were all excited and nervous on the ride to the high school. By then you still hadn't given me a second glance but I was content admiring you from a distance. Besides, what would a guy like you want with a girl like me? It wasn't until after the competition, on the bus ride home, that I finally had the confidence to make a small move. Cherokee, my best friend at the time, was talking about her "Amazing boyfriend" and I was single as usual. I asked her who I would be good with and she said you. I didn't believe what she said. I think she knew that I had always had a thing for you; though I never talked about my emotions towards you. Partially because I was afraid people would think of me as a fool, a mere peasant falling for a king, but mostly because I was afraid of your rejection. I never had a lot of confidence but Cherokee's words boosted me to maybe try. Just to see if the king could ever love a peasant such as myself. I was nothing compared to you. Your beauty, your grace, your smile, your laugh, every thing about you was and still is amazing...dazzling...words do not do you justice. And what did I have? I had nothing. Some would say I'm pretty, but what is outer beauty without inner beauty? Some would say I had a nice smile, but it was never real, never true. Until the day I met you. That was the day I truthfully smiled. There was no lie behind it, none at all. Every wall I had, you broke down, you melted, you incinerated. And you didn't even realize you did it. After that day my confidence slowly started to fade. On the outside I looked strong and confident, but on the inside I was (and at times I still am) very insecure about myself. Then came the day you finally started to fall for me. You didn't confess this until a year later when I asked you. I still remember it perfectly. It was in choir again and Mr.E had given us a free day to talk quietly in our seats. Of course, everyone took advantage of that and got extremely loud and moved around. By this time, I had told only my closest friends I had a crush on you. I never told them how long this had gone on, but I told them. Slowly but surely, they convinced me to go over to talk to you. I was so nervous I could barely walk across the room to you. You were sitting by the piano, Mary Ellen was talking to Mr.E, so it was just me, you, Skyela, and Kendal. I made my way over to you, relieved when I sat down. I now could not make a fool of myself by tripping. I was quiet for the most part...not because I was scared but because Skyela wouldn't shut her trap. You were completely zoned out in writing in your song book, Skyela brought up the subject of anime and you instantly snapped out of it. She mentioned that I loved anime. That was a huge lie. I didn't know the first thing about anime. This was our first real conversation. You asked what my favorite anime show was and I replied with the only anime show I knew of and that I watched." Naruto" I said shakily. You replied with nothing more than a nod and a smile. I asked about your notebook and from there I don't remember much. A year later I saw you take your phone from your locker. I went home and didn't sleep at all. I stayed up all night wondering what you would say if I asked you for your number. If you said no, I couldn't just brush it off, your locker was right next to mine and we had quite a few classes together. If you said yes, should I give you mine in return? I decided I would ask you. It doesn't seem like much, but it was a huge risk for me. I asked you the next day in reach and you said yes. I was so happy! I tried to play it cool but I know I must have looked ridiculously excited on the outside. I clumsily filed through my agenda for the contacts page. In the first line you wrote "Oliver Kewl Guy Crady " and then your number. I smiled and closed my agenda. After that you moved your seat in reach to be closer to mine. Sydney, the girl who used to sit behind me, didn't seem to mind much and relocated herself as well. From there we started talking more and more. I texted you after school and I introduced a game we still play today. A texting game called Truth. We played for hours and you asked me who I liked. I replied with a mysterious "someone...." And you couldn't leave it be so for two whole days I was dropping very obvious hints that you didn't quite get. Once you figured it out, I found out you had a girlfriend. I was devastated. The king had a high school queen. A very pretty one too. For eight months you went on with your life with her. I waited patiently but you didn't seem to be happy with her and she didn't treat you right. She broke your heart and I was immediately there to help pick up the pieces. I asked you those six words (will you go out with me) long before you two broke up over a deck of cards. Little did I know those cards would come in handy later. It was a deck of 32 cards and on each one I wrote a word. The last eight cards said "Will you go out with me yes no". I waited another two months for you to get back out into the dating world. I almost went insane from the waiting! Then came the dance. You were my date but we weren't dating. We danced together almost all night and got our photo taken. We held hands and almost kissed. It was the best night ever! You walked me to my car and I got an extra long hug :) about a week later you told me you had a magic trick for me. Instantly my heart started racing. I was taken back to a day when we were playing truth. You had confessed to me that you liked me as well by that time. I asked you if you were to ask me out, how you would do it. You said you would probably do it through a card trick or a magic trick. I squeezed a little information about the trick out of you. I learned that we had to be alone, it involved cards, I was the only one who would get to see it, and you created the trick. Then, on Wednesday March 20, 2013 at 2:58 pm you led me into the hallway. You were hesitant to do the trick but I was relentlessly asking about it. You pulled a deck of cards from your pocket. "Pick a card any card" I picked the red nine of hearts. You asked if I had memorized it and I replied yes. I put the card back in the deck as you had told me to do. You put the cards back in your pocket and pulled out a black box that you proceeded to open. "You see there is nothing in the box. You can check if you'd like." I checked and as you said there was nothing in the box. You told me to look at the box and concentrate on my card. I did as I was told and tried my hardest to concentrate. I couldn't though because there were a million things running through my head. All of them having to do with you. You opened the box and there was my card! I was amazed and you told me to lift up the card. Underneath that red nine of hearts was the card from the deck I had given you that said yes. I don't think you noticed the card was upside down but I did. I noticed every thing about that moment. You had to go so I hugged you tight and left. You saw me run to Joy and cry. I tried to hide my excitement but it all came out at once. So much time, so much love it was all so new to me. A month and five days later here we are, together still. I hope we remain this happy for a long time

The author's comments:
This is just something I wrote to my boyfriend. I planned on giving it to him but im afraid to. There are obvious punctuation errors. I'm not very good at that. Rate and comment :)

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