The Clothes I Wear | Teen Ink

The Clothes I Wear

May 12, 2014
By mwurzer4 DIAMOND, Rochester, New York
mwurzer4 DIAMOND, Rochester, New York
65 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Thou! thy truest type of grief is the gently falling leaf."
-Edgar Allan Poe

It’s as if I’m invisible. People look right through me without seeing me, or they see me without seeing me. It’s infuriating at times, but liberating as well. I’m a shadow. I don’t exist. I can wear the brightest, most ridiculous or amazing, or just unusual things I can find and make everyone stare, but they never see me. I don’t exist. I’m not here. I’m a figment of my own imagination, and whoever they see is a figment of their own imaginations. It can be intoxicating, infuriating, lonely. People used to see me. I used to be me. But that position was too vulnerable. People saw me and they saw my weaknesses and took advantage of them. So now I sit alone inside my skull while six different people take turns making me into them and then sometimes they succeed and I blink out of existence, like the light of a Christmas ornament left on all year long. I’m left to wonder who I am, and if I even exist anymore. I’ve read too many books and in an attempt to destroy my weaknesses, I’ve made myself into a patchwork girl of fairy tale heroes. The Robin Hood, the Knight in Shining Armor, the Unwilling Hero, the Bad Guy Turned Good, the Battle-Weary Warrior, the Eager Page. These are the clothes I wear. These are the faces I present. And no one sees me.

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