Horrible Response | Teen Ink

Horrible Response

April 6, 2011
By kieranh SILVER, Levittown, Pennsylvania
kieranh SILVER, Levittown, Pennsylvania
6 articles 1 photo 0 comments

This article that you wrote about first time football fans is pretty well written. There are a couple of thing I would have changed though. As I am a big football fan I would have researched it a little more. When you mentioned that you can cheer but only if everyone else is, is wrong. You can cheer to help everyone realize that they just made a nice play. Also when you mentioned that you should never walk past the other sideline when wearing your teams clothing is also wrong. When you walk past their sideline it gets them all out of the game and onto saying things about you. When fans heads get out of the game then the momentum cannot be with them because they aren’t focused. Last thing I would change about your article is that you over did the whole winning situation. When a team wins a game the fans don’t just jump onto the field cheering. Usually that only happens if a big upset happens of if you win the BCS National Title Game. Overall I would rate your article a B- because you did have your strong points.

Similar Articles


This article has 1 comment.

rayray2020 said...
on Apr. 27 2011 at 12:15 pm
this stuff was tighht u know what i say yaaaaa man i love this thing ;)