Finding Myself | Teen Ink

Finding Myself

October 7, 2021
By Tamial06, Detroit Michigan, Michigan
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Tamial06, Detroit Michigan, Michigan
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The author's comments:

This is the only chapter and it was a short story.

Keith ran inside his home glad that both of his moms weren’t there since he didn’t want them to see the things he was about to do. He rushed to the bathroom, throwing open the medicine cabinet grabbing his depressants. Keith opened them, poured a whole bunch into his hand then began to contemplate if he should do this.  He finally looked up in the bathroom mirror and saw his face for the first time in a couple of days. Keith saw his tear-streaked face and blood coming down the side of his forehead from getting hit on the side of his face with a rusted-ended locker. Keith didn’t like what he was seeing, then concluded that he should go through this.  Though he has to write a letter to his parents so they know it’s not their fault. He walked to his room with the pills still in his hand; Keith got to his desk and got his notebook out and started writing.

“Hey, mom, mama if you're finding this letter it means I have finally reached my limit. I’m going to tell you something I should have said but I was too scared; I was being bullied by A.J  I’m sure you know who that is. But  I was being bullied by A.J because of my skin for the past couple of years, the bullying started when I was 15. I’m tired of the discrimination I’m facing I just wanted to be happy and figure who I am in the world but I guess that wouldn’t happen. I’m writing this because I want you guys to know that  I love you from the bottom of my heart and it was never your fault that this happened and maybe adopt someday and tell them all about me; I would love to have a younger sibling but anyways this was the last thing I had to do. Just know I’ll always be watching over you

Sincerely, K.J”

With tears marks on the paper, Keith put the letter on his desk and put the pills in his mouth, and swallowed them all waiting for the inevitable to happen. After five minutes of waiting, he heard a car pull up, with a heavy heart and strong guilt for leaving his mom all alone, his vision started to fade.

 Millie is just getting off of work waiting to see her son Keith. Millie had noticed something going on with Keith; she brought it up with her wife Cameron but she said to leave it alone and wait for him.  Millie pulled into the driveway and got out her keys to open the door; once she opened the door she called out to Keith “ I’m home, are you here?.... Keith! Hellooooooo'' she started to get concerned because Keith is always home before she is and he would have texted her if he stayed out somewhere. She headed to his room, on her way she saw his book bag on the floor. So she knows he’s home so she continues on and finally gets to his room. She began knocking on his door and didn’t hear a response. Millie had opened his door and saw that he was laying on the floor very limply like he wasn’t alive. Millie thought he was playing around since he does this often. She walked over to him and started poking him saying “ Kj stop playing with me! *laughing* you almost had me scared you died or something”. Keith still wasn’t waking up and she noticed his body was a little cold. That is suspicious because his body feels cold like the dead bodies at the morgue; she would know since she works there. She looked around her surroundings and saw the letter that Keith wrote: she picked up the paper not knowing this was his suicide letter in her hands. She saw wet spots on the paper and got scared hoping it’s not what she thinks it is. Millie reads the letter and halfway through her eyes start tearing up. So she does what any person should do and dialed  911

 “911 whats’s your emergency My son*sobbing* my son Keith committed suicide and his body looks like its breathing but it’s like jumping Okay ma’am I need you to give me your address and the cause of his recent suicideOkay it’s 15674 Hathaway St my zip code is 48075, I’ll start looking around for the cause because I don’t see any blood on the ground….. Oh I found a couple of pills Alright miss the ambulance is 5 minutes away, thank you for telling me the cause if you could stand outside so they can  know what house to go to Thank you for telling me and I will see you soon” 

Millie hung up and started to head out Keith’s room with the letter clutched into her hands. she looked back at Keith and started to break down again. She rushes out of his room because she heard the ambulance coming. she didn’t even notice she was staring at Keith’s body for that long. Once she got to her porch she sat down for a minute because she needed to get her thoughts in order.  ‘ Okay, Millie, you got home ready to see Keith after a long day of work and walked in his room seeing him on the verge of death. How do you feel? I was shocked, sad, mad, and guilty because I saw the signs and didn’t do anything.  This little A.J kid who I know the real name of decided to bully my baby! Over HIS SKIN COLOR!!! I’m honestly pissed and miss A.J will get what she deserves. Speaking of getting what she deserves I gotta call Cameron, she’s a lawyer she would know all the legal things we can do because if it was up to me I would be running up to their house and beating her and her momma.  I know I would never put my hands on a kid but I’ll make an exception just this once.’ Millie remembered about the help on the way and looked down the street where she saw the ambulance. She stood up and started waving her hands like crazy so they knew where to go. The ambulance pulled up then rushed with a stretcher and asked her what room they should go to and where were the pills that she saw. She told them the room in the back and the pills were in the corner and they were an off-white color. She couldn’t go back into the house because it didn’t feel normal at the moment. She called her wife Carmen to tell her what happened. 

Carmen wasn’t answering the phone, so Millie just decided to text Carmen and tell her what happened  ‘Carmen I need you to head to harper hospital ASAP! It has something to do with Keith. I'll tell you all the details when you get there.’ The workers walked out of the house and started to put the stretcher in the car. They asked her if she would like to ride with them to the hospital and she said: “yes please!”. Millie gets inside the ambulance and holds one of Keith’s hands that isn’t covered by the workers. His hand was cold but it didn’t matter to her at the moment because the only important thing was that he could be fine. Not even a minute later his hand started to move and twitch; Millie, already going through enough emotions, thought that he was dying faster and had a seizure. Millie had voiced her thoughts to the workers  “ Excuse me!!! Ummm his hand is twitching and jumping, is he having a seizure !?”  The workers had calmed her down “No ma’am everything is okay, this means that he is still alive and we can wake him up but I’ll say there’s no guarantee that he’ll wake up as soon as we’re done” Millie felt relieved knowing that her baby was okay. 

The ambulance finally arrived at the hospital: they rushed Keith out, pushing him into the hospital yelling about the ER and help needed. Millie wanted to go with them unfortunately, they wouldn’t allow her no matter the relation. Millie looked deflated at the fact she couldn’t go see her son. So Millie just went and sat down on the uncomfortable chairs in the waiting room with the ticking clock to taunt her of all the time passing. 10 minutes later Millie was starting to get anxious about her child and when her wife would get here. The doctor walked in and asked her some questions about the incident. All the questions were good until he asked a question that set Millie off

“Where were you when this happened? Have you recently provoked him to get to this area? Have you noticed the signs? I was heading home from work and No, why would you think I provoked my son?  The only reason I asked is that I saw bruises on him and through the- NO! Are you accusing me of abusing my child! Why would you think of such a thing, I love my child and you’re making fake accusations when my child could be dying in that ER I don’t know if you know me but I work in this hospital down in the morgue and I definitely won’t like to see my son there any time soon, so please tell me if my son will be okay!! Yes I’m sorry ma’am for offending you I was just doing my job and I’ll get  back to you when I know what’s happening with your son”

Millie had sat back down and taken a breather because her emotions are all over the place. she didn’t know what to do anymore at the moment. Thankfully Cameron ran in frantically looking for either her wife or stepson. She saw her wife in the seats with her head in her hands. Cameron ran towards Millie and began asking questions all Millie did was hand Cameron the letter from earlier. Cameron started to read the letter and all she could do was gather Millie into her arms and break down crying with her. After both girls collected themselves they waited for the news about their son. A different doctor came out and told the girls the news.

“Hello is anyone here for Keith Issah yes um here okay so I have some good news and some bad news I’ll start with the good news, Keith is alive but the bad is he is currently in a coma; you may see him if you’ll like, he’s in room 315 on floor 2 okay thank you so much  for helping my son

Millie and Carmen headed to the elevator, pressing 2 on the buttons. There was no sound besides the elevator music. It seems as though they were trying to picture what Keith will look like once they see him. Their thoughts were cut short since it was only the second floor. They began walking to room 315; once they made it to the room it seemed as though time was moving in slow motion. The door was opened by one of the nurses because the nurse just finished taking his vitals. The pair outside couldn’t stay out the door forever so they just walked in and froze. Millie's shoulders started to shake trying to hold in her tears and Carmen had silent tears going down her face. On the hospital bed, we see Keith lying there not moving pale; he looked like he was dead. Millie finally broke into tears and rushed over to the bed then grabbed Keith's hand, holding it to her chest. Cameron walked over to millie and hugged her from behind, giving her the support she needed at the moment. After standing in silence for a couple of minutes Keith's heart rate started to speed up and his body was pulsing more than it needed to be. Doctors and nurses rushed in pushing Millie and Carmen out of the room so that they could figure out what was wrong. Millie is scared and worried something is wrong with her son. The doctors and nurses came back out and told her that it was just a false alarm, that he is alright now. The mothers were wondering what was the cause of this false alarm.

Keith was reliving his memories till one memory that he stored away forever resurfaced. Keith was 15 years old when he and his family went to The Bell’s Amusement park in Oklahoma since it was only a couple of hours away from where they lived. He got on the new ride called “The  Wildcat'' by himself. Everything was going fine till they were reaching the highest point; instead of going forward the car disconnected from the rail and started to go backward at a high speed crashing into another car. One person died from that ride and 6 were injured, Keith was thankfully a part of the 6 injured. Keith has been traumatized since because he could have been that one person who died. After that memory passed Keith was just standing in the darkness of his mind. Keith had to collect his thoughts just like his mom did earlier even if he didn’t know. ‘Okay, Keith let's start from the beginning of your day. You woke up, did the necessities, and went to school; everything was normal for the first half of your day till lunch came around where Amber Johnson, your ex-best friend who is now your bully spilled her hot lunch all over you. You tried to run out of the cafeteria and someone tripped you now your head hurts; you go to the front office to get a shirt since yours is ruined and you end up late to class now everyone is laughing at you.  All during class, you're getting hit with racist notes and pencils to the head. Things were not going your way at all you just wanted to go home. It was finally your last class of the day and class was going well; nobody was making fun of you or anything. Score on my side. The final bell rang and you rushed out to your locker, put in the pin code then opened it to find your face on a monkey’s butt and your mom’s photoshopped to be burning in hell. To top it off your locker partner swung open their locker to hit you in the face making blood run down your face. That was your limit, you couldn’t take it anymore and rushed home grabbed the pills and overdosed. Now you're here sitting in darkness with nothing to do wondering if you died or not.’ 

Keith honestly couldn’t do anything. He was just walking around wherever, he did try to make noises such as screaming, laughing, etc. There was no background noise like echoes when you're in an empty room so there was nowhere to tell Keith where he was. With nothing else to do he just laid down on his back staring at the top of something. He didn't know how long he was here but it felt like an eternity; Keith just wanted to find out if he was alive or dead. After another timeless day in the dark, he saw a light, now he knows the rule of “ never follow the light” but Keith didn’t care. He ran to the light not knowing what was waiting for him afterward.

Following the light couldn’t have been more of a shock to anyone. For running to the light he was blind for a minute. Once Keith could see he saw someone that looked very familiar. As a result of this, he was a little confused because he expected to see clouds and whatnot or a hospital if he failed instead he’s in a comfy room that smells like vanilla. Keith asked a very good question 

 “ Who are you? And why aren’t I in the hospital? *chuckle* I’m you of course, can’t you see the resemblance? Also for your other question, we are in your mindscape since someone is still in a coma wait so I’m not dead! Well, that explains mostly everything, well are you even really like  I came to another reality I am not real since this isn’t something supernatural, I am more of your alter ego or who you want to be in the future before Amber started to bully you; anyways the real reason I’m here is to give you advice and get you back on track with your life. So this is like self-therapy *laughs* anyways any question Ummm what should I  call you, because I’m not calling you Keith that’s just too confusing  Oh yeah just call me the cooler version of you or Kj it sounds better alright than moving on where shall we start at

Kj and Keith started at the beginning and found areas to capture first. The pair first talked about Amber Johnson it was good to say they both hate her and will never be interacting with her. The second topic was mainly about explaining the whole situation to his mom and how to go about it once he wakes up. Keith honestly thought he was going crazy because he was talking to a person who looks exactly like him and they are talking like they are old pals. Kj thought it was funny when Keith brought it up. The pair both knew that this wouldn’t so good on the mind and that Keith will need to see a real therapist once he wakes up. One day Keith and Kj were just joking around after getting used to each other, Keith started to freak out because Kj was fading and he didn’t know what was happening. Keith started to frantically talk “ hey! Hey, what’s happening why are you fading?” Kj simply told him in the calmest voice “ your waking up, please promise me you won’t fall into the rabbit hole again” Keith was crying since he didn’t want to go yet “I promise, bye Kj” Keith started to hear voices that sounded like his parents

Keith has been in a coma for 2 months and his parents have been doing a lot. Once they talked about A.J they found out it was Amber Johnson; they, later on, took her to court for bullying. Amber was sent to juvenile since she is still a minor. Once the parents found out the news it was a happy day till they remembered Keith wasn’t here to celebrate with them. They eventually wanted to do one of Keith’s wishes by adopting, they are currently in the making of adopting a little girl named Mackenzie. Mackenzie will officially be a part of the Issah family coming at the end of August. They met little Mackenzie a month ago and told her all about her older brother that is currently in a coma. Mackenzie is very excited to meet her older brother Keith. Millie and Carmen were doing their daily visits to Keith when one day something happened. Millie and Carmen were talking about little Mackenzie and seeing if they could bring her here for visits too. As they were talking they heard a noise behind them where Keith was laying. The pair turned around to see Keith trying to sit up, after breaking out their shock; the couple rushed over to him trying to getting up to lay back down. Carmen had run out of the room, trying to find a doctor or nurse to tell them Keith is awake. While carmen did that millie was giving him some water since he looked like he wanted to say something. After giving him water he said the words that have been stuck in his head ever since he found out he was in a coma.“I’m sorry mom” Millie broke out into tears again and hugged Keith so hard, after a while Keith started to cry as well repeating under his breath “I’m sorry” over and over again. Carmen came in with doctors to see a very heartbreaking sight. Carmen rushed over and hugged both Millie and Keith. After a minute the doctors had to, unfortunately, ask the parents to leave the room so they can run some tests.

The doctors asked the normal questions such as “How do you feel? And does anything hurt? Keith answered in full honesty and answered, “ my throat is a little dry and I feel fine nothing is wrong.” After running the test the doctors left the room and the couple came back in talking to him and saying they had multiple surprises for him. Being curious he asked what they were, all to find out many good things. He’s getting a little sister, amber is in jail, and the major one; he’s Moving!!!!!!. They are picking up his little sister a  week after he gets out of the hospital. During the week they are packing up the house to move to Ohio and sign him up for school there. Keith asked his nurse when she came back in when he could leave; the nurse said maybe tomorrow to make sure everything sure everything is clear. After finding that out,  he and his mothers talked and he told him about everything from the start to now. The family of 3 had another crying session after that story. 

It was the next day and  Keith has signed out of the hospital. They were heading to the orphanage so Mackenzie and Keith could finally meet. Once pulling up they did the normals such as showing I.D and signing their name and purpose for being there. After that was finished the workers called Mackenzie down so she can see her soon-to-be family. When Mackenzie came down she saw a new person near her new parents and the only thing that would make sense was this is her new older brother. Mackenzie called out to Keith and running towards him,  hugging him with all her might. Keith had picked her up so she could properly hug him. Keith had asked if he could call her Kenzie so that he and she can be the K duo. Mackenzie agreed because she always wanted to be included in something. Keith has made a note to himself that he would always protect her no matter what. Kenzie and Keith talked the whole time about random things while they still had an hour together; Millie and Carmen were just watching them and they could see Keith was getting the spark back into his eyes that they haven’t seen in a long time. After the hour was up they had to unfortunately leave but made sure to tell Mackenzie they’ll be back next week to take her home with them.

After the week passed they picked up Kenzie and got on the road to move to Ohio. Keith was scared about his new school since he didn’t know if they would bully him. After the 14 hour drive with many breaks between, they finally came from Oklahoma to Dayton, Ohio. The family of 4 pulled up to their new house, which was way bigger than their old home. For a week they did many things such as signing up for school, finding a therapist for Keith, Going bedroom shopping for Mackenzie since she barely had anything, and lastly Unpacking their home. It was their first day of school, Keith for senior year and Mackenzie for kindergarten. They were both scared but they got through it. 

A year later things were looking up for the family, Keith found some real friends and found his purpose in life, and found self-love in himself. Kenzie has made many friends and fitted in even when she thought she couldn’t. Millie and Cameron are happy that their kids are happy and that’s all that matters to them.  

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