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Why do we ask the questions we do?
Say the things we say?
And make the mistakes we make?
Why can't we just do the right thing once in a while?
Try to help and heal, not devastate and destroy.
Sometimes I lay awake at night thinking about what the world would be like if people weren't so selfish all the damn time.
If people never killed, or craved the spill of tears of those weaker and more helpless then themselves. If people were more selfless, would the economy be better, why can't the world be properly functional for once?
I say these things meaning for change to happen, and then realize every time that the world is the way it is because of thoughts like this. Thoughts of evolution, education, equal rights, and domestication.
The thoughts of perfect white picket fences and a cookie cutter family and then in the future regretting every bit of it. Craving attention and adventure, anything but the life you have, and then when it happens all you want is the life you once knew.
You have a family that cares and they have one flaw and you hate everyone for it, envying everyone else, when in all honestly, they probably feel the exact same way.
You trade places and then wish nothing else but to trade back.
You miss you're crazy dis-functional family and life. You see something perfect and it disgusts you.
So, this is our issue isn't it?
We see things that piss us off, complain, and don't do a damn thing to change it.
We complain, that's it, just complain, which in turn pisses more people off.
Its a never ending circle of complaints and annoyances.
In a world of people that don't use their brains, its easy to fade into the background, to be forgotten, ignored, rejected. The forgotten fade and never leave a mark on the world as they are meant to. But the remembered are a joy to behold, they in there own right, are immortal, but not in the way you think, there immortality is never being forgotten, or rejected by others of the world. It means never being afraid of being forgotten.
Despite want people think, these people are not altered or changed, they are simply in tune with the inner talents.
They know what they want and will do anything to get there. No amount of work or obstacles can veer them off course of there goal.
This is what we should envy, the inner peace of those in tune with themselves and the world. In my life it has taken many changes, victories, and defeats o figure out what I have and what I want.
I have always envied the perfect life, and in a sick trick of fate, I got it. And I hated it, I still do hate it. But that is the price I paid to finally figure out what I wanted in life. In the hardest time in my life, writing set me free. It was the only place I knew were I belonged, and I felt accepted by it.
If I had never been introduced into writing I would have probably would not be the girl I am today. I would be a shadow, a shell of what I am now. I would never have met the people I have, or learned the things I did. Some of you are probably thinking ,"how does this help me with anything?". Well, for that, I will continue. People say you never know what you have until it's gone, I say truer words were never spoken. The life you have know might not be perfect, but it is the life you need. For those hurting themselves, I know how hard it is to stop, it is a sense of release and peace, but you will never stop feeling guilty about it , you know what I mean. Stop lying to yourselves, you need something, I'm not going to pretend I know what it is, but you need something that you don't have. For me it was a dad, I thought I didn't need one, but later in life, it was all I thought about.
On the next chance you feel that urge, think of the one reasonable you want at that exact moment in time, and use that energy to seek it out. Be your own person, make your own mistakes, challenge yourself. Be the person to other people, the person you never had, and rock at it. Thank you all for listening to my rantings.