How to make long distance relationships work | Teen Ink

How to make long distance relationships work

March 26, 2010
By JadedSoul SILVER, Evans, Georgia
JadedSoul SILVER, Evans, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments

So you're done with school. Now it's time to get into a college. Luck has it and you and your boyfriend are in two different corners of the country. Most couples here decide to discontinue their relationship because they can't see each other for a while. In spite of the love they have for each other, they part ways to lead their respective lives. They move on or ‘try to’. But their love is always there. Securely held within their heart. No matter who they date, they will never be able to give the kind of love that they had given in their past relationship.

According to me, it is utter gibberish that long distance relationships can't work. I say they can. If you truly love someone and want to stay with them forever, it is totally wrong on your part to break up just because you can't meet.
So here are the ways to maintain a long distance relationship-

1. Trust your guy/girl

Its essential that you have complete faith in their words and believe that they will not see anyone behind your back. Now, how much you trust your beloved depends entirely on how healthy your relationship is and how much you love them and vice versa.

2. Express your doubts

If you have any queries or are feeling insecure about anything, talk to them and share with them your thoughts. This is vital because they need to know how you feel about certain things and will hence discuss the issue with you and try their level best to keep you from getting anxious.

3. Allot time for talking

Now that we're all gizmo freaks, we all have ways and means of talking to each other. Talk to you guy/girl and make sure that you set aside some time to talk to each other. Use your cell phones. Or you always have Skype and other Messengers where you can see each other too!

4. Keep them informed

Distances can often make people nervous. They might want to know all about you. Every single information is important to them. So please don’t get irritated with their constant pestering ( if you call it so). They are just concerned about you coz you are the world for them and every minute thing counts. So tell them every single thing and don’t hide stuff. Answer all their questions. The more you hesitate to answer them, the more suspicious and distant they become. So let them know. NO harm done in telling them right? After all, there are no secrets in love!
5. Meet each other

Occasionally, or probably when on a vacation, try to take some time off your schedule and spend some time with them. Give them a surprise visit. Hang out at some cozy restaurant or at either of your houses if you aren’t the kind who holds hand in public. It would really cheer them up to see you after dealing with so much pressure in college.

6. Keep their friend’s numbers

This is necessary as incase you have any thing urgent to tell them, you can contact their friends and they will pass it on. It’s also helpful when you’re away for their birthday or valentines day as you can plan up with their friends and get them some gift on your behalf.

All this will definitely help in keeping your relationship as strong as ever.

What say?

The author's comments:
Iv'e seen a lot of people split due to the distance factor. But I strongly believe that long distance relationships do work, if you want them to. Feel free to share your views about it :)

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This article has 35 comments.

on Dec. 27 2015 at 1:32 am
shanayamathur20, Delhi, Other
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Nice Article, for long distance relationship trust and meeting each other is important, also i found an article where it says , that there are several benefits to long distance relationship, have a look

unmesh said...
on Dec. 18 2014 at 1:13 am
i have not seen my special friend for 2 months.Thank you for the advice

unmdas said...
on Dec. 18 2014 at 1:11 am
thank you a lot

KimHetalian said...
on Nov. 7 2013 at 4:27 pm
I recently met a guy online, he and I have both rough childhoods. We are both turning 16 soon, We communicate by skype everyday after school. I am from England and he is from the Netherlands. So we aren't that far apart. But for both of us, this is our first accepted relationship as we are both used to rejection and a lot of bullying in our schools. We fell for eachother when helping eachother with copping with school bullies/life/ect. He wants it to last for as long as possible, and so do I. But we are only 15 and I am worried it isn't going to last and I will be so upset.

Tuttles said...
on Jul. 31 2013 at 7:15 pm
Me and my girlfriend live a long way from each other, and it sucks majorly that we can't see each other as much as we both either want to. We wait months on end to get together, and when the day eventually comes, it's only a few precious hours. I'll take these tips into account, perhaps they'll help. Much love <3

Scottgrapler said...
on Jun. 23 2013 at 11:38 am
Really nice article.  I find that skype and facetime help a lot with my relationship. Communication is everything. I also use a site called "the points producer top credit cards" to use milesl to visit my girlfriend in South Carolina. Nothing is better than face to face.   Thanks again!

hums said...
on Jun. 10 2013 at 12:41 pm
thnks a lot to this article.....i was really confused about my long distance relationship.....thnks again....luvs...

caitlan99 said...
on May. 26 2013 at 6:21 am
you've made me feel so much better by saying everything you have just then..i met this guy on vacation&he is my age (14) i fell inlove with him straight away! i have no idea how but it's just how it happens i guess,i have no control. But the thing that hurts the most is him being so far away..he lives in newcastle and i live in leicester..we act like we're together but yeah:/ i trust him soso much - if there was anything i'd want to know he'd tell me. We're hopfully going down to pick him up in the summer for him to come down here for a week or so which should be great but i have this doubt that he's going to get bored of me at some point:( he thinks the same about me..but i asured  him that that wont happen..

Love16 GOLD said...
on Aug. 24 2012 at 6:35 am
Love16 GOLD, Roanoke, Virginia
11 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Psalm 23.

From personal experience, long distances can work. I met this one girl out of the blue and we've been going strong for just about a year now. She has cerbal palsey and is partially disabled and most people find her weird for it. but I don't. It's one of the reasons why I love her so very much. Also, when you get to see each other, don't hold back with your feelings. Our first date was in Disney and we cried together, we shared every moment together, and I told her everything about my feelings, thoughts, ect.

on Jun. 3 2012 at 1:34 pm
JadedSoul SILVER, Evans, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments
Hey, sometimes things change. You cant always expect to spend hours talking. And trust me, it will get better. Atleast, when you talk next time, youll have more to tell each other. And every relationship has its ups and downs... You ll make it don't worry. And when he says he will change, he will. But everything needs time. Maybe you should help him plan out some time slots to talk or something. 

on May. 30 2012 at 5:02 pm
lovelywriter97, Sanford, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments
im 14 and in a long distance relationship it was great at first we talked ALL the time our skype calls could last 12 hours and sometimes we couldent stop talking to eachother and fell asleep on accadent now i feel like i barly see him and now sometimes we talk for only like an hour a day at most he says he is busy but who is busy until 10 every day? :( idk what 2 do anymore im so hurt i dont wanna break up with him cus i'd miss that person i fell in love with i tryed talking to him and he said he would change but he hasent so far :/ 

on Apr. 9 2012 at 8:26 pm
In my opinion,  Long distance relationships can definately work. I'm sorta kinda in one right now. You can call me naive I guess, But I truly believe every word he tells me. Nothing is a lie, because we have nothing to lie about. Meeting has been hard, since we both met on vacation and im only 16, and he is 17. We haven't yet seen eachother since, but skype and texting is great for us. He does have a girlfriend at the moment, which hurts, sooosooosooo bad. I truly believe that when he says that when I get to see him, no girl will stand a chance. We are planning on going to college together, and taking summer roadtrips. Goodluck everyone trying to commit to a LDR. They are harder than hell:/

on Oct. 29 2011 at 2:16 pm
thelogicoflove SILVER, Camden, South Carolina
7 articles 0 photos 15 comments

This was a truly beautiful article - helpful, as well as encouraging. I have been in an LDR for the past year and a half now, but we are so emotionally close despite the phyiscal distance that sometimes it seems like the least of our problems!

Of course, it would nice for him to be around all the time, and it certainly isn't easy. There is an age difference along with the distance, which makes it hard to meet up. Although my parents accept it and his mother loves me as a person, it's difficult for his family to accept that I am younger. The declining economy makes affording plane tickets from here to there or there to here hard, too. But I will always be a firm believer in the ability to make Long Distance Relationships work by using all the tips you mentioned above! Thank you for giving me faith in my relationship I may have forgotten about.

on Oct. 1 2011 at 4:35 am
JadedSoul SILVER, Evans, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments
That's great :).. You're maintaining the relationship amazingly and please don't lose heart or give into others' talk. You know what's right and only what YOU think matters, not your friends, not your parents or anyone when it comes to matters of your heart.

on Oct. 1 2011 at 4:32 am
JadedSoul SILVER, Evans, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments

I don't think communication is a problem when you're committed. If you really love some one, won't you even think of them ? And when you do, how difficult is it to send a tiny SMS or e-mail?


hrf1434 GOLD said...
on Sep. 7 2011 at 9:17 pm
hrf1434 GOLD, Collierville, Tennessee
10 articles 4 photos 66 comments

Favorite Quote:
Don't Judge a Girl by Her Cover

I think that long distance relationship ultumiltly fail because there is lack of commitment and communication 

gyspygirl said...
on Aug. 19 2011 at 9:41 am
im fifteen and in an LDR. atleast most of your boyfriends/ girlfriends live in a set place. my boyfriend works on the fair, hes a traveler and moves all around the uk, i cant go see him much as he works alot and i have school. everyone says i shouldnt trust him because hes a fair lad and there always piking girls up but hes not like that i know he's not. people say were too young to be in an LDR but im half traveler and hes full, we find love/ partners young, its traditional to us. he's around my area for like three weeks a year and he even works on my birthday and only has two days off for xmas. i miss him so much but we talk alot and ill be seeing him in two weeks :D

kabya said...
on Jun. 11 2011 at 3:55 am
kabya, Noida, Other
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
learn from your past, walk your present and respect your future

your article is really nice but it reminds me of my problem. i have a bestfriend who is with me since 3 years. its been a while now that we both love each other a lot. the problem is that i ll be shifting to a boarding school and he will be in some other school. my parents like him as my friend but they cannot accpt him as my boyfriend. his mother loves me but his father cant accept me as his girlfriend. there are many problems and we are not able to solve those problems. i now dont wanna go away and he too hates the fact. we still havnt decided wedr we shud make this official cuz if we do and later on there is some problem i knw he will be hurt real bad. this has happened to him before when his ex shifted to japan. i dnt want the same to happen again. i cant see him cry cuz even if i love him he will always be my bestfriend.


on May. 4 2011 at 9:37 pm
JadedSoul SILVER, Evans, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments
Thank you so much :)... And sure we can talk about anything...

on May. 4 2011 at 9:28 pm
JadedSoul SILVER, Evans, Georgia
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Hey...  I  think it's ok to be i a long distance relationship.. even if you can't meet often, you talk a lot... Communication in any form is good for a relationship. And like you said, you can relocate to somewhere near by for college... Your mom is just concerned for you I guess.. But he's not that old... I mean its only an year.

And one fight so far is actually amazing. Cos in such situations people generally tend to bicker a lot.. And if your boyfriend is complaining that you talk a lot, its probably cos he has't got much to tell you. So when you are done talking, you can get time off for yourself... Give him some space too... Cos talking to you all day will not give him a chance to talk to his other friends...

And to get motivated to make things work, you can probably look up the universities near his place in your free time.. Google them, find out if they offer courses you're interested in.. See when you try to find some positivity in things you're doing, you will feel better and it will also do good... And your mom can't stop you from entering a university of your choice right? Tell her that he's only an year older and she needn't worry.. Also, I would suggest that you don't discuss much with her about him as clearly she isn't very fond of the idea.. Her concern probably is that he might not be a good guy, cos you've never even met him.. If you can convince her that he is a humble and decent guy who's not trying to take you for a ride, she will be more supportive...

Try making her talk to him occasionally... Hope that helps :)