When the Darkness Comes | Teen Ink

When the Darkness Comes

September 1, 2009
By jennee21_ann GOLD, Helper, Utah
jennee21_ann GOLD, Helper, Utah
17 articles 0 photos 568 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't gain the world and lose your soul....wisdom is better than silver or gold."

"You can always close a book, but you can never close the mind of a writer."

The darkness surrounds me and persuades me,
trying to swallow me whole.
Its' eyes and face is iced over,
and its' heart is blacker than coal.

The beating of my steady heart
tries to save me from my doom.
But inside of me I helplessly plead
that this will all end soon.

The shadows creep up upon me,
and turn the light away
The flowers and the sun
won’t be returning today.

So when the darkness covers me
and the time on the clock ticks dry,
I’ll surrender myself to the ground
and let my soul ascend to the sky.

The author's comments:
I wrote this at 12:15 in the morning when I woke up from a nightmare. The idea just sort of came to me, and I wrote this within 5 minutes :) Hope you like it, and please leave comments! :)

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This article has 27 comments.

on Sep. 3 2010 at 9:11 pm
Bookwormwriter SILVER, Centerville, Ohio
7 articles 0 photos 16 comments

to any and all who see this, please read, comment and rate my work!  no one seems to want to comment on it.  :( thanks!

OMG HOW ARE YOU COMING UP WITH ALL THESE AMAZING AWESOME MIND-BLOWING POEMS!  JUST STOP!  your going to make me go crazy with all this jealousy that im not this good!

greg9381 GOLD said...
on Aug. 15 2010 at 6:28 pm
greg9381 GOLD, Atlanta, Georgia
12 articles 1 photo 50 comments
*poem sorry

greg9381 GOLD said...
on Aug. 15 2010 at 6:27 pm
greg9381 GOLD, Atlanta, Georgia
12 articles 1 photo 50 comments
interesting! The way you describe the darkness, it sounds creepy. Don't worry about doom and soon not rhyming, (someone mentioned that in another comment) slant rhymes add flavor! (not like...taste, but interest). And thanks for your comment on my poema

on Jul. 10 2010 at 8:45 pm
Love_Kills_the_Blind PLATINUM, Fort Collins, Colorado
23 articles 5 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never regret anything, at one point its exactly what you wanted."

You continue to amaze me! Incredible keep on going! :)

on May. 11 2010 at 4:38 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Papillion, Nebraska
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
What the front door.

"the flowers and the sun wont be returning today"-well how about that......5 stars captain. ch-ching.

on May. 11 2010 at 3:22 pm
AlexandraVasari PLATINUM, Fort Stewart, Georgia
28 articles 4 photos 174 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writing songs is super intimate. It's a bit like getting naked"~ Gwen Stefani

You never fail to amaze me!Great job, yet again!:)

on May. 11 2010 at 3:18 pm
--LoveHappens--, Fairfield, Connecticut
0 articles 0 photos 342 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A friend is someone who knows you, but loves you anyway"

wow I really liked this is was truly powerful and full of strong words and emotions. Great job. Please Please Please read my story called The Pretty One and leave a comment thanks!!!!!!

on Apr. 21 2010 at 3:57 pm
Chibbie1 PLATINUM, Atlanta, Georgia
38 articles 8 photos 181 comments

Favorite Quote:
Reach for the the moon for if you fail you land amongst the stars :)

this is quiet wonderful please look at mine and tell me how you feel for it would be great to find out how you feel about it


on Mar. 28 2010 at 6:53 pm
HPGGMRAR GOLD, Kennesaw, Georgia
14 articles 6 photos 91 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I musn't forget I'm alive."
Ray Bradbury (Dandelion Wine)

I read your comment after I read the poem and I guessed it must have been written after something like that. I never would have guessed you wrote it in 5 minutes, amazing as usual!

on Mar. 20 2010 at 6:09 am
munkyman95 GOLD, Medway, Other
18 articles 1 photo 100 comments

Favorite Quote:
I will become, what I know I am' Michael Jordan

Wow this is really good too, you're an amazing poet, to me you're better than a lot of professionals this gave really vivid emotion and made you feel as trapped as the writer

on Feb. 17 2010 at 10:08 am
vickilovesu0227 SILVER, Bellefonte, Pennsylvania
9 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to."

Wow! I can say the same for you. You put so much emotion into your work. I think that you should send some work to a publishing company.

writeoutloud said...
on Feb. 15 2010 at 3:15 pm
this is very well written. i like the imagery of a clock ticking dry as well as flowers and sunlight vanishing to be replaced by a blanket of darkness. its dripping with emotion; raw. i like it a lot.

on Jan. 23 2010 at 4:08 pm
VampiericRain GOLD, Amarillo, Texas
12 articles 0 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
Would you like a side of epic with that fail?

When you say the darkness, it made me think of some kind of monster. This is an excellent peice to be written in five minutes.

Bliss SILVER said...
on Dec. 31 2009 at 4:32 pm
Bliss SILVER, Poland, Ohio
8 articles 0 photos 18 comments
I really like this. Its very deep! Goood poetry.

on Dec. 22 2009 at 4:18 am
hxcRocker DIAMOND, Haiku, Hawaii
59 articles 2 photos 88 comments
This poem is great. It really conveys the fear and darkness in everyone's heart

keikori BRONZE said...
on Nov. 27 2009 at 7:47 pm
keikori BRONZE, Place, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment
This is wonderful, very well written, and very emotional

on Oct. 28 2009 at 5:24 pm
sarahxinsane921 SILVER, St. Charles, Missouri
5 articles 4 photos 10 comments
I Really Like This Poem.

Its Soo Well Wriiten, Its Inspiring.

Keep Writing.

on Oct. 24 2009 at 7:17 pm
justjessie GOLD, Lakeland, Florida
18 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
if i cant be something to someone then i want to be nothing to everyone

very good, i like the last line, descriptive and clear peice. great work

on Oct. 19 2009 at 8:57 pm
AlextheKat27 SILVER, Mesa, Arizona
5 articles 1 photo 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?" --Dilbert

Hey thanks for the comment! :) I've been checking out your work and this one is my favorite, I love that last stanza, beautiful.

on Oct. 8 2009 at 6:30 am
Free.The.Poison PLATINUM, Hanford, California
31 articles 0 photos 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
Even in our Darkest hour, we must always remember never to spare.

Nice poem. God job at ryhming and making sense when doing so.