I Am Your Pawn | Teen Ink

I Am Your Pawn

July 19, 2011
By littlelilith SILVER, Dallas, Texas
littlelilith SILVER, Dallas, Texas
5 articles 1 photo 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Your perspective may very well be the determining factor in whether you pass the test."

For you, I put on this smile
And pretend to be happy for a while
I put up with all of your s**t
Why do I even try at this?
In your game, I am your pawn
To yell at and tell what I did wrong
To maneuver where you please
You have deadened me, you see
So now it's my turn to strike a blow
Wanna see how far I'll go?
Maybe it'll be like before
Or maybe even something more
Maybe this time you will see
What it's like to feel like me

The author's comments:
To my mother...

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This article has 8 comments.

.Izzy. BRONZE said...
on Jul. 22 2011 at 9:56 am
.Izzy. BRONZE, Broadview Heights, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 388 comments
This is really sad, but really good. I loved the metaphor of you being a pawn, maybe you could add a few more references. Overall, very powerful and very well written

leafy said...
on Jul. 22 2011 at 8:40 am
leafy, City, Other
0 articles 0 photos 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
Gil: I would like you to read my novel and get your opinion. 
Ernest Hemingway: I hate it. 
Gil: You haven't even read it yet. 
Ernest Hemingway: If it's bad, I'll hate it. If it's good, then I'll be envious and hate it even more. You don't want the opinion of another writer. 

along with everyone else, i love this poem too :). the only thing i can suggest is like thethruthawaits94 said; to make the metaphor to chess stronger. but its still awesome, keep up the nice work!

on Jul. 22 2011 at 12:17 am
redhairCat PLATINUM, Pebble Beach, California
47 articles 20 photos 411 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do anything!"

I like this one a lot. I really love poems when the "pawn" puts the king in check! Ha! This is great!

on Jul. 21 2011 at 10:34 pm
poetic.eyes PLATINUM, Everson, Washington
23 articles 3 photos 198 comments

Favorite Quote:

Very powerful!!!!!!

on Jul. 21 2011 at 9:58 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
I like the metaphor of you being the pawn!

on Jul. 21 2011 at 9:12 pm
NinjaGirl BRONZE, Valley City, North Dakota
1 article 0 photos 202 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only thing holding us back in life is our desire to stay where we are and not venture further.
~Some random person on the Internet :P

That's a lot of emotion packed into such a short poem!! I love the title and rhyme scheme. Great job. Five stars!

on Jul. 21 2011 at 6:59 pm
Hazel-daisy GOLD, --, Other
19 articles 0 photos 324 comments

Favorite Quote:
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else - Erna Bombeck

In three words i can sum up everything I've learned in life: it goes on -Robert Frost

Live, Love, Laugh - ______

Hope, Love, breathe <3 - Me

i really understand where your coming from and i can feel the emotion running throughout the poem. I think its really well written and i like the title, its different and the poem wasnt like what i expected it to be! i really like it 5/5 :) 

on Jul. 21 2011 at 6:34 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

i understand exactly what you are coming from here. I can feel your emotion thoughout the poem and i appreciate it a lot. Since you say I am your pawn, maybe you could change it a bit. Like whenever you say now it's my turn to strike a blow, instead you could say something like now it's my turn to pick my move, as a reference to chess. But you know I'm totally nit-picking just to find something to critique because this poem is very good as it is. That's just something to think about! :) `"" thumbs up!