Scrambled | Teen Ink


April 14, 2009
By GoldenGirl PLATINUM, Vashon, Washington
GoldenGirl PLATINUM, Vashon, Washington
41 articles 31 photos 116 comments

HA! Ha ha ha!
I just killed a man this morning
no-MURDERED him! Ha!
The bright morning sun just got to me
I think it was the sun,
hmm... maybe the clouds
everything started out just fine;
I had my usual eggs; sunny-side up,
and I had real fun with the ketchup.
Yeah, maybe it was the ketchup that gave me the idea;
all bright red...
I guess I just wanted to see some blood
the ketchup just wasn't good enough for me...
anyway, I had nothing against the guy,
hell, I didn't even know him!
when I first saw him, he was walking into the restaurant
I was getting ready to go to work.
Awful job I would say, being a waitress
people treat you awful,
like they've completely forgotten that you're the one bringing them their food.
Yeah, maybe it was the crappy job that motivated me.
Anyway, I had only seen the guy come to the restaurant once or twice;
average guy, he came in and ordered eggs; scrambled.
That I remember with perfect clarity, above all other things.
Well, what can I say? It was just so easy,
he went out the back entrance, I watched him leave,
and that's when I saw the knife, just lying there on the counter, nobody watching it.
So I just took it. It was that easy. Next thing I knew, he was a dead body.
I carefully put him in a black plastic garbage bag; I didn't want to waste the blood.
By then, it was my lunch break.
I told my boss that I was taking out the trash, then going home to eat. I wanted eggs.
Everything went well; I tossed him in the trunk of my car, and drove home.
No one saw me. No one noticed.
I dragged him up the steps of my porch, into my house, and went straight to the kitchen.
I opened up the garbage bag.
Not a pretty sight, let me tell you, but it didn't chase away my appetite.
all of the blood had accumulated at the bottom of the bag.
Good. I had no use for the body, but decided I would give the guy a proper burial.
Later. It was lunch time.
Yeah, I cooked myself some eggs for lunch. Okay, that's a little unorthodox, I'll admit.
I wanted to start the day over, the right way.
This time I cooked them scrambled; you know, in honor of the guy, or something.
I started to whistle "I've Been Working on the Railroad", as I beat the eggs viscously.
I never knew how much fun it was to make scrambled eggs!
I used the same plate I had used that morning; white, and perfectly circular.
I prepared the eggs with care,
arranging them on the plate so that they took up exactly half of the room.
By then, I had finished whistling, and I turned back to the garbage bag, and took a long look.
The poor man was soaking in his own blood, and that was just gross.
I dragged the bag into the bathroom, and carefully heaved his body into the bathtub.
I turned on the shower to rinse him off, then, taking the blood-filled garbage bag, left the room.
The man needed his privacy.
I knew exactly what I was going to do next. This was the fun part.
I opened up the refrigerator, hunting, hunting.
Aha! There it was, still three quarters full, I slowly emptied the ketchup bottle,
watching the bright red squiggle from the container, and into the kitchen sink.
I completely emptied the container. The rest was pretty easy,
filling the empty container with the blood, I mean.
I filled the container all the way, but low and behold, there was still some left in the bag.
I stuffed the garbage bag in the refrigerator. No need to be wasteful.
I returned to the eggs, which were, by that point, cold. But the blood was cold too.
Good balance, right? Well, it gets better than that.
I perfected the dish by filling the empty half of the plate with the blood.
Ah, I was completely content,
sitting at that round table, napkin in lap, fork in hand.
I dug in, not wasting a bit.
I have to say that I had never had so much fun!
Who knew that blood tasted so good with eggs? Mmmm.
One thing I knew for sure; ketchup is out of the question!
I was completely full by the time I was done eating,
and I felt so good...So strong. Unstoppable even! The power felt good, I think that was it.
I stood up from the table and walked into the bathroom to check on the guy
he was clean, so I turned off the shower. I didn't want to waste any more water.
I remembered then that I had to get back to work
I took the ketchup bottle with me, just in case I got hungry again.
Minding the speed limit, I hurried to get back to work
unfortunately, I was late, and my boss was concerned about me, asking me why I was late.
I'm never late to work.
He said he saw something strange in my face, 'eccentric' he said. "You're acting a bit eccentric".
He asked if I was feeling alright. I had no idea what he was talking about.
I told him I'd never felt better. Hey, it was the truth.
He gave me a strange look, then dropped the subject.
I thought I was free to go,
until he asked me why I had brought a bottle of ketchup with me to work.
I told him that table six was all out,
and that the reason I was late was because I was out buying more.
He was suspicious. Who wouldn't be? I lied to him! What a terrible thing to do! I always hated lying.
So he went and checked table six, and what-do-you-know, they really were out!
my boss eyed me skeptically, then took the bottle from me and headed over to table six.
I watched as the overweight man sitting at table six poured the blood on his cheeseburger.
he seemed to like the taste of it, just as I had
then I thought to myself,
'hey, it tasted good. I'm doing these people a favor; I'm sharing!'
And sharing is caring, right?
Though I can't say that I care too much for the customers, I mean,
I killed one of them, then served his blood to the rest.
I don't care for the customers. Is that wrong? Is it wrong what I did? No, I just don't care.
well, my boss let me off work early, don't know why, but I guess it was a good thing,
I had some errands to run.
I gave the guy his burial and everything;
I just put him in an empty hole at the nearest cemetery. Like I said; easy.
It's exactly 6:33 right now. Dinner time. I'm having my new favorite food; eggs again, scrambled.
Ha ha, the irony;
that the man whose blood I'm having with these eggs,
had had scrambled eggs just this morning! Ha, I think it's pretty funny.
to cut a long story short, all went well, nothing was wasted.
I do have one problem though;
I just used the last of his blood.
I'm going to need more for tomorrow;
when I have my usual eggs, scrambled.

The author's comments:
This never happened, of course! I just like to use my imagination sometimes. This is one of my favorites that I've ever written, though most people are turned off by it. I guess you just have to pay attention to details, and give it a chance. Read the whole thing!

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This article has 5 comments.

on Apr. 5 2010 at 6:33 pm
GoldenGirl PLATINUM, Vashon, Washington
41 articles 31 photos 116 comments
Why, sure I'll read your stuff. And I'm almost positive that it'll be better than this. I wrote this so long ago, and I was going through a phase. :P

M.S.S. GOLD said...
on Apr. 5 2010 at 5:36 pm
M.S.S. GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"WACKADOO!!!" "You made a funny!" "Red Seven! Red Seven!! Red Seh-ven-a!!!" "Swaaaaag!!!!" "Ratchet" "God Said No" "God Said Yes"

i'll be the first person in line for it haha... i've just recently put some work on here but its not as good as this...could you read them and give me a critque?

_NoAir_ BRONZE said...
on Apr. 5 2010 at 8:08 am
_NoAir_ BRONZE, Toronto, Other
4 articles 1 photo 463 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are as many ways to live as there are people in this world. Each one deserves a closer look.

–Golly (Harriet The Spy)

OMG! Are you serious? Wow... you're lucky! Love this poem!!!!!

on Jan. 22 2010 at 12:00 pm
GoldenGirl PLATINUM, Vashon, Washington
41 articles 31 photos 116 comments
Why thank you :D

My best friend actually is turning this into a movie! Haha I hope it turns out well. I have to help her create some of the dialogue.

M.S.S. GOLD said...
on Jan. 19 2010 at 12:22 pm
M.S.S. GOLD, Lubbock, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"WACKADOO!!!" "You made a funny!" "Red Seven! Red Seven!! Red Seh-ven-a!!!" "Swaaaaag!!!!" "Ratchet" "God Said No" "God Said Yes"

you did it again!!!! but this was a bone-chiller....could be a good start for making a movie...