castle. | Teen Ink


September 9, 2018
By sara-a-bear GOLD, Brandon, Mississippi
sara-a-bear GOLD, Brandon, Mississippi
15 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can tell by the way you're laughing, you're trouble looking for a place to happen."
- Chris Young

I think about him a lot. I think about who he could be, then I remember who he really is. It’s a constant battle of his potential, and I’m in love with it. I want to be in love with him, and sometimes I forget that I’m not. Sometimes I want to curl up into his shoulder and fall asleep, and just thinking about that can make me nauseous, because he’s always doing that with someone else. It’s never the same person, either.

God, I love the boy - he’s my best friend, and I want him to be mine more than I know how to articulate, but I don’t want to get hurt. I hate calling him, only to hear his voice speak of another girl’s name.

He swears he loves me, but I swear he’s a liar. I don’t know if he can’t decipher his own emotions, or if he’s just that manipulative. I want to believe everything he tells me - it’s easier that way, but I’m not that stupid. I can’t believe everything he says, because that just means I’m falling farther into his grips. I can’t afford to trust him!

It’s like my insecurities have built this home inside of my head, and he came through with a sledgehammer. Once I see that he makes me feel like I’m worth something, I fall in love again, and he proves me wrong - again. Over and over, it’s the same story with the same characters, but I expect a different outcome? Maybe I am the definition of insanity.

He makes me feel like I’m okay - makes me feel like I’m good enough, and makes me feel like I’m a princess. Then I watch the castle crumble. Again. And. Again.

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