How I Fell So Far.... | Teen Ink

How I Fell So Far....

June 28, 2021
By AdiSilver GOLD, Navi Mumbai, Other
AdiSilver GOLD, Navi Mumbai, Other
14 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
God gave me depression because if my ambition went unchecked I would have bested him in hand to hand combat by age 16


Can't you see
I am trying my best
To make you happy

Can't you see
I am killing myself
Oh! Its a tragedy

I came from you
I love you
But let me live for me

I am giving everything I have
To make not mine, but your, dreams come true
Everything I do, is all for you

But you are never satisfied
Its never enough for you

So I push myself higher
And farther apart, I am falling from you

I need your hand
I am scared I will fall
I miss you

But you don't see my pain
Just my failure

I try to stop my tears
I tell myself, its for them, that I doing this
Giving up my dreams, my happiness
To make them proud and happy

But its hard to say goodbye
To the only dream you ever had

I remember the nights
I would tell myself
Don't worry, big girl, you will make it there

But I would break the promise I made to myself
To be true to the promise I made to you

But somewhere along the way
I have lost the people to whom I promised

They are gone and the feelings of love, trust and faith
Are replaced by scrutiny, criticism and nags

I am holding on to my promise, and barely so
But what about your promise
To love me, to protect me and to never let go

I hold my hand out
Waiting for you take them and, the warmth
That made me feel safe to envelope me

But the warmth never came
In fact, I just felt a push
As I fell into the cold pit
And I fall
And I fall
And I fall

Oh! I fell so hard!


The author's comments:

So, I wrote this poem, of sort, when my father told me that the word 'try' does not exist in his, and apparently my, dictionary. 


I am studying to become CA, and I said to him that I would try my best to pass the entrance exams. He was outraged and said that, well, it doesn't matter. It was hurtful,  but I still love him very much. Really, I do. I love him.

 

I am not good at displaying affections so, I pay attention to the words. The things that others say are imprinted in my mind. I believe in them. So, when the people who said those words, begin to change, I can't accept it and I still try to find that loving, caring person who promised me such sweet things. 

I refuse to believe that that person could hurt me. 

Even when they do. 


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This article has 2 comments.


AdiSilver GOLD said...
on Sep. 22 2021 at 1:10 am
AdiSilver GOLD, Navi Mumbai, Other
14 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
God gave me depression because if my ambition went unchecked I would have bested him in hand to hand combat by age 16

@JustMe_Vaanya Thank you so much!

on Aug. 3 2021 at 2:23 pm
JustMe_Vaanya SILVER, Dehradun, Other
7 articles 9 photos 91 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Una Vida, I have come to accept that I cant experience everything in life. But what I will, I'll experience deeply..."
-Shivya Nath

I am literally out of words to explain my awe... I don't know what to say. Just one thing: whatever you felt, you put them into words in such a way even I can feel the coldness of those moments you felt.
I can literally fit the poem in my life, it's soo similar...
I loved your writing style :)