Drifting Further Apart. | Teen Ink

Drifting Further Apart.

November 15, 2009
By ResistMe PLATINUM, New Tazewell, Tennessee
ResistMe PLATINUM, New Tazewell, Tennessee
44 articles 0 photos 25 comments

A final message,to the one whom I hold dearest..
These words left unspoken,the deeds harshly done,have torn us worlds apart.
I miss you.
I miss the way you'd laugh and smile,as You held me in your arms that seemed so strong back then.
I miss the way you promised to never let harm fall into my path.
I miss the way your hand covered mine,so massive in comparison to mine,yet so small.
I miss the way you'd hold my head agaisnt your chest whenever a unwelcome guest of the night harrassed my sweetly dreamt dreams.
I miss counting your heartbeats.I miss wrapping my arms around your leg,planting myself on your foot,and smiling as if life was at its peak in happiness.
I miss the gentle way your eyes would set on mine,you're sweet young child.
I miss how you knew me like no other,taking pride in my indifferences,my yearning to read,the songs I'd hum childishly thinking no one could hear.
I miss the soft wink you'd give to me at every performance,gathering,all of the most insignificant of victories.
I miss the tickles.I miss the stories you'd tell me of the war,your family,and how proud you were to call me your little girl.
I miss the way you'd set me snuggly in your lap,wrapping your arms around me in aid to unravel the mysterious boxes in colorful paper curiously calling to me from underneath that big pine.
I miss how my young mind thought for sure everything lasts forever when it comes to love.
I miss how I could cry on your shoulder.
I don't understand where I went wrong.
I don't understand why you've turned the cold shoulder.
I don't understad why you've let such a regard for hatred into my life.
I don't understand it,I don't understand you.
This selfish creature..you can't seem to overcome.
The way you now look at me with shame.
The way you never say you love me.
The way you refuse to touch me in any regards of a loving father.
The way you yell,and throw things towards me.
The way nothing seems to please you.
the way you've highered your standards,and the way I'm just not enough.
The words you spoke that cruel night,in regards to my simple request.
'You're driving me to suicide.'

The way I cried myself to sleep.
The way my smile is broken.
The way I keep my life from you.
The way you refuse to let me in.
The way I've seen other father-daughter relations,the boiling affection that only gorws,knowing no boundaries.

The way you never told me why.
The way I wish I could leave,and never return.

All I ask,from you,my apparent father,
come back.
I promise I'll be better.
Daddy,please don't go.

Smile my way,just once more..
So as to,I can finally rest in peace.

My loving regards,ignorance.
Push me away,I'll always come back.
These years are separating us to an extent written extreme.

I'm barely at my fifteenth year,drunken in the thoughts of the love I let go.
although..you were right in a positive way about just one thing,
I have realized some bigger dreams of mine.
And someday,I will let you go.

Written words,I'll forever leave unspoken,in an accountance of regretting nothing.
I know I'm beautiful,I know I am talented,I know I am one of a kind.
I wanted you a little longer,to guide me a little further.

I'll leave this with one final thought,just in case you have forgot,

A timeless dream,the training wheels you removed.
The wind blowing my shiny blonde hair gently in the breeze.

'You'll catch me if I fall?'
'You'll wait til I say let go?'
'As long as this road goes.'
'You promise?'
'With every drop of blood left inside me.'

'You ready?'
'Daddy,don't let go,hold on a little longer!'

You let go of the bike anyway.
You didn't catch me.
I love you,Daddy.

The author's comments:
just something I desperately needed to let go of.
I don't care if its not that good,I feel better.Thats all I was going for.
I hope you enjoy this little diddy either way.


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