The Story of Us... | Teen Ink

The Story of Us...

November 2, 2010
By BaileyB PLATINUM, Park City, Utah
BaileyB PLATINUM, Park City, Utah
27 articles 1 photo 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When you judge someone, you don't define them. You define yourself"

And over again,
But we are always happy.

We always believe that we will always get out,
You always save me,
We’ve been through everything,
Fights, Love, Hate, and Joy.

Our relationship is a life-long story,
It all seems to be happy,
But what it is,
It’s falling apart deep inside.

New faces coming,
Old faces going,
It would never be the same,
You did the worst thing ever.

The story of us,
It seems like a tragedy now,
I wish was just us still,
Someone cut into the picture.

It would never be simple again,
I try and not have hate,
It’s bottled up inside,
It’s gonna come out and explode.

Wish it was simple,
No one ever left me scared,
You are the only scar,
It’s noticeable every time I see you.

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This article has 3 comments.

GiselleD. GOLD said...
on Dec. 5 2010 at 11:12 pm
GiselleD. GOLD, Aurora, Colorado
11 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
Are you serious?

Wow, I like this poem! It's like how I used to write, but I defined mine more descriptively. I think this poem is very heartfelt and if you want some feedback for improvement, maybe the line "it's gonna come out and explode" should be made more descriptive and something that doesn't sound so much like talking...liiike:

"Soon to realease and destroy"

Anyway, tidbit of constructive criticism...haha Nice poem! 4 stars!

on Nov. 17 2010 at 9:42 am
MelanieElizabeth_18 GOLD, Gatlinburg, Tennessee
14 articles 5 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No sacrifice, No victory."

Aww this is great!! Love itttt:)

on Nov. 16 2010 at 8:35 pm
K.H.D. PLATINUM, Fort Wayne, Indiana
27 articles 19 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:

be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Alenn O'Shea
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So... get on your way!" - Dr. Seuss, "Oh! The Places You'll Go"

Absolutely amazing. I love it. :)
I gave you five stars on this.