Betrayed | Teen Ink


May 20, 2011
By Tatiel PLATINUM, Washington, Vermont
Tatiel PLATINUM, Washington, Vermont
23 articles 21 photos 57 comments

Favorite Quote:
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
~Mark Twain

I know what you are thinking
I see it in your face
I see frustration glaring
Disdain you can’t erase

I know its all my fault
The yelling and the sighs
Each rough push you give me
The annoyance in your eyes

Just tell me straight the first time
Stop pushing me around
Don’t yell again, it hurts me
Though I try to block the sound

If you would only teach me
If you would show me how
Oh, just tell me what to do
It doesn’t matter now

Come glare and growl at me
I know that’s what you crave
Not good enough again
It’s hard to still look brave

But I won’t let you hurt me
Your words will not break through
I won’t let it touch me
The blame that will ensue

I’ll make my mind like stone
Won’t hear a word you say
I’ll make my heart like wood
I’ll make my feelings clay

I can block the angry words
At least a little while
I can shut out all the hurt
The pain of the revile

But the look that’s in your eyes
The frustration and disgust
I can’t block out the sight
Your eyes say I betrayed your trust

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This article has 8 comments.

on Jan. 13 2012 at 12:33 am
RayBaytheDinosaur GOLD, Hampton, South Carolina
18 articles 17 photos 159 comments

Favorite Quote:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

This has so much emotion in it and its just such a great overall poem =] your quite the amazing writer

on Oct. 19 2011 at 6:51 pm
TheWordSmith SILVER, Placerville, California
5 articles 0 photos 51 comments
Something I love about all your poems is the raw emotion you inject into each one. Keep up the good work!

on Aug. 5 2011 at 11:34 pm
musicispassion PLATINUM, Perris, California
35 articles 0 photos 733 comments

Favorite Quote:
" Life is never easy for those who dream."
There are so many other quotes i need pages to write them

based on true events?  emotional poem and beautiful

on Aug. 4 2011 at 11:45 am
Love.Hate.Passion., Spring Valley, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 356 comments

Favorite Quote:
~Hope. Faith. Love~
~Be proud of who you are.You are all unique in a different way.~
~I WILL NOT fade into oblivion , and become less than
a distant memory.~


I really connected with the poem and felt the emotion throughout. Keep it up!

Kai17 GOLD said...
on Jul. 22 2011 at 12:21 pm
Kai17 GOLD, Spokane, Washington
17 articles 5 photos 339 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Where to, Miss?"
"To the stars."

I think that some of the words (revile, ie) were used just for rhyming, but I think that the overall poem is really good. Four stars.

on Jul. 8 2011 at 6:36 pm
Internal-Love PLATINUM, Queens, New York
33 articles 3 photos 310 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing's black or white, its all just a shade of gray---

TI "Live your Life" ft Rihanna

i like how you set up your poem :) Very nicely done. Though while reading it, i felt (just a bit) that some words were used for the sake of rhyming. The poem would be even cooler if you used some symbols of anger and hurt-----like a cold mysterious poem instead of a hard, direct one.

Overall, this deserves 4 stars.

on Jun. 29 2011 at 7:52 pm
AvengedJasonfoldForever BRONZE, Middletown, Delaware
3 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You are about to die. Scream if you Must." -Fire Emblem character

The thing about poetry is you either like it or you don't... I think your poems are good but they didn't do anything for me. I'm a hit-or-miss kind of guy with poetry and I never know what I'm going to like unless it's really twisted or something.

A personal preference of mine is complex poems. Something abstract... something symbolic. Something that makes no sense at all even. I don't know how to explain my taste in poetry. I write stuff like this all the time, but the stuff I REALLY love of mine is like the stuff that just came out of nowhere. Like I got high one time and wrote a poem that made absolutely no sense, but there were a couple lines that were really really awesome.

So yeah don't know what kind of criticism I can give for poetry haha

on Jun. 22 2011 at 8:53 am
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

Wow, this is an amazing poem!  I'm no expert on poetry, but I do know a good poem when I see one.  Your rhyming scheme was consistent and not gimicky like some rhyming poems are.  You had good imagery and I think the flow of the poem was flawless.  Good job!