Realizing Why | Teen Ink

Realizing Why

May 22, 2011
By Rainey GOLD, Dumfries, Virginia
Rainey GOLD, Dumfries, Virginia
14 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
I've never told a lie and that makes me a liar, I've never made a bet but we gamble with desire, I've never lit a match with intent to start a fire but recently the flames are getting out of control
- All Time Low: Jasey Rae

I have finally realized why,
Why everyone keeps asking me the same thing.
Why they ask me if I'm alright.
It's because I'm not.
Because they know me,
Better than I know myself.
Because they can see my anguish
My pain, my fear, my heart.
They can see what I can't.
It's because it's written all over my face.
And how can I see that
When I can't stand looking in a mirror?
I find that I'm afraid.
Afraid to actually see who I am becoming.
Because I don't want to be that girl.
The girl who hates.
The girl who cries.
The girl who feels alone.
The girl who's unliked.
Not only by others
But by herself.
The girl who hides behind her pen.
The girl who is unseen.
Unheard, and unloved.
Maybe I am wrong.
Maybe I'm being paranoid.
Maybe this is only how I see myself.
Maybe you aren't doing this on purpose.
Maybe you are unaware that you are hurting me.
But that makes it that much worse.
To not even realize what you do to me,
Am I that unsignificant?
Maybe I was right.
Maybe I always have been.
Maybe this is who I've been all along.

The author's comments:
i wrote this when i was fairly upset, if you couldnt tell. But sometimes my best writing comes out when i am i hope this is the case and you guys like it :)

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