Awkward | Teen Ink


March 9, 2012
By missinvisible12 GOLD, Old Tappan, New Jersey
missinvisible12 GOLD, Old Tappan, New Jersey
13 articles 1 photo 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad, and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be." - The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Every morning, I walk onto that bus, all the same,
No friends on that bus, sadly, so I sit there alone.
And every morning, I have the same visitor
Sitting there, next to me, minutes after I arrive.
We never speak, never make eye contact – don’t even glance!
We just sit there, in silence, and I text my friends.
He talks to his friends, being so popular, so calm
But I, clever myself, know something he doesn’t know I know:
The silent one, neglectful towards me and only me
Has undying passion for who he sits next to, ignoring.
But I am kind, I don’t tell him the secret I know,
The one his foolish friend told me, carelessly one night.
I let him ignore me, see what happens, see what he does,
It is, in fact, for me quite fun, ignoring the silent one.
Seemingly awkward, but fun all the same – for me.

Weeks and months pass, and I listen to him speak out.
He still indirectly refuses to speak to me,
Ignorant to my knowledge, as a mailman to a dog
The mailman unknowing of the dog’s dangerous presence
The dog ready to attack, to embarrass the man,
Just waiting for the right moment to spring – so I wait.
I wait for the right moment to trick the silent one,
Neglectful towards me and only me, his undying ardor.
He’ll be sorry he didn’t speak to me sooner than this;
He’ll be the one embarrassed, the one neglected,
And I’ll just laugh, for I’ll make his life much more awkward.

The New Year comes and goes, with no sign of contact from him.
His girl friends ask him, “Who are you sitting next to
Each and every day, from the bus stop to the school?”
To which he’ll shrug and mutter, “I don’t know her, or her name.”
And the girls, the noise that breaks through the silence of the boy,
Just chuckle and carry on with their other conversations
As my mind deceitfully dances with devious diversions
Some, perhaps, less realistic - and/or legal in this country
While others plain and simple, laughable and silly
For the neglected one and her comrades, my friends and me, per se
Ah, yes, quiet one, you wait, for awkward has not yet been born.

The seasons rise and fall, the discounting continues.
The feeling of neglect is strong, just as strong as
The odor of a skunk who sprayed a persons face,
But unlike that situation, I don’t really care.
I hum to myself the “Mission Impossible” theme song,
Recite the words “I’m gonna getcha” to myself
And I wait, because on the last day of school, it’s coming.

June 25th arrives, finals over – summer here
I get on the bus. He, as usual, sits next to me.
This was it – the time for his humiliation
Payback for the lonely hours he’s given me-
Some lover. He can’t even speak to me, let alone love me.
So it’s payback time – he’s certainly going to get his fill
Of guilt for his cruel way of making me feel invisible
Let alone awkward, embarrassed, and most of all hated.
Here it is; I’m ready and excited to see him plummet.

Step one: in which I speak to him like a creeper.

“Why hello there my mighty tiger from the jungle,”
I drawled to him randomly. He stared at me confused.

“Hi?” he replied, trying to keep his non-existent cool.

“How are ya?” I gave him a creepy smile at that.

“Good, I guess?” He still wasn’t getting it. His friends laughed.

Step two: in which I stop speaking to him altogether.
This way, I’ll laugh brainlessly like a lonely loser

He turned back to the noise that breaks through the silence of the boy.
I sat silently, looking out the window. I erupted.
The stares were the best because they thought I was the insane one.
I laughed harder and louder, then stopped, as quick as I’d started.

Step three: in which I start faking death - see what he does.

As he conversed with his friends, I took a long gasp
I then began coughing loudly, unable to breath.
He turned to me, unsure of what to do; I lay there “choking.”

And the silent one, to the surprise of his friends,
Started shaking me, concerned of what might happen to me.

Step four: in which I stop choking and make him admit his love.

Abruptly, I stopped, looked up at him, and said to him:
“Now I’ve caught you, tell them, tell them all what you’ve wanted to say
To me all year. You deserve this, after my year of torment.
Just say it out loud – you should have a long time ago.”

He blushed and sighed, ready to speak his mind, all his truths,
“The truth is, I’ve had a bit of …a thing for you all year.
I didn’t say anything since I didn’t know what to say.
But I’m sure if we got to know each other, we could be friends –
Or more. So, seriously, give me a chance…can you please?”

I might have agreed, against my entire diversion –
And a whole year’s plan…but, hey, at least he felt awkward!

The author's comments:
I originally wrote this as an extra credit assignment for my English class.

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