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Your Assignment For Today
It is due on Thursday. Not Friday. Not Monday.
Two days is not too much to ask for.
Should you be sick, simply email it to me,
?Or scan it and send me the pdf or the jpeg, as long as my PC can read it.
??Or call a friend to bring it to school with them,
Or conjure yourself a magic portal and have it drop in the classroom at the exact moment it is to be turned in,
Or use your common sense and figure that you will be sick on Thursday and turn it in Wednesday.
I don’t care if today is Tuesday
?My word is law and the law is my word
??Now write a three-page letter to the president concerning this. ???
????????Got you. You would send it to Congress.
??????????Have you been listening?
Was your cousin getting married on that day? Then write it in the pews; you get enough practice texting during my class anyways.
Did your dog just die? Poor him. Turn it in.
Should your backpack be stolen, you should have at least saved my assignment.
If you end up in a coma, have your doctor bring it in for you.
Stranded on a deserted island with but a monkey to keep you company? Then calculate the wind velocity and the water currents and send it to me via your water bottle. Simple as that.
Should Jesus decide to return and the world crumbles to oblivion tomorrow, I expect to see it on my desk the next day.
If I decide to take the day off Thursday, that’s no excuse for you. Turn it in.
My prompt was general, you say? I was only allowing you room for creativity. You’re smart children- I DID teach you, did I not?
Have any questions? Find me during your twenty minute lunch hour or after school. Your coaches won’t mind.
Now, write a two-page essay concerning the above by the end of next period.