You Never Came Back | Teen Ink

You Never Came Back

December 8, 2014
By BoobooBeetle DIAMOND, Jacksonville, Florida
BoobooBeetle DIAMOND, Jacksonville, Florida
74 articles 1 photo 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
“A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.”
G.K. Chesterton

"And you, you ridiculous people, you expect me to help you."
Denis Johnson

You left and never returned.
You never came back to even press
Your full, soft, red lips,
Against my tiny, bare, pale forehead.
You never came back to even wrap
Your warm, comforting arms
Gently around my slender neck as I cried.

As I had difficulties
Falling into profound sleep,
You would rub my shoulder,
Tenderly whispering me a story.
As I drifted, you ended with the same:
“I love you”
As you kissed my temple goodnight.

You never told me how you felt
About who I was.
I know you’d be disappointed now
To know that your little, innocent,
10-year-old daughter,
Ended up losing everything,
Living the rest of her life alone.

I will never forget that day,
The day you laid upon the hard, cold, tiled flooring
Of our little mobile home,
Eyes glassed over and pills beside you.
Was it me?
Did you drug yourself because of me?

Within the confines of a cell,
No hope coming past the barriers of my mind.
I attempted to go about my days
Like everything was OK.
But you left me like a zephyr.
Without any warning,
My mother was gone forever.

I locked myself within this cell
Of misery, heartbreak, and grief.
I’d never know
If it was my doing,
Or if something else had happened.
Why did you do it?
Why did you commit suicide?

I will always miss you,
I will always think about you,
I will always wonder why,
I will always have you within.
I will always love you,
Of course I will,
You’re my mother, after all.

The author's comments:

I have a very strong bond with my mother--she's my best friend. One night, I was wondering what I would feel like if I ever lost her, when she dies. This poem describes the emotions that I would feel and the true connection that I share with my one-of-a-kind mother.

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This article has 7 comments.

KaavyaM SILVER said...
on Feb. 6 2015 at 6:48 pm
KaavyaM SILVER, Hyderabad, Other
9 articles 1 photo 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

This poem is utterly heartbreaking. You write so beautifully. It starts out sad and as it goes on, each paragraph raises new goosebumps as the story goes on. However, I really think you should have left some things implied rather than specified. For example, the lines 'Ended up being insane, Living the rest of her life alone. Within the confines of a cell,' were wonderful and powerful and concise, and make it immediately clear what was going on. But again, you state that 'I inflicted harm upon myself, And eventually I was considered mentally ill, Locked away forever within the confines Of this tiny, one person cell.' which makes it just a little bit repetitive. But this is still one of the most moving poems I've read on here. :)

on Feb. 5 2015 at 12:44 am
CaseyChickenWang SILVER, McDonough,
7 articles 2 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
"No one likes half-jinglers! Jingle all the way!" - Shelley McNeight
"You don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate." - GSUMUN

Very touching. I thought is described a lover until the very last line. Now that it describes a mother, this poem means so much more. I loved the suprise!

MalaikaJ GOLD said...
on Jan. 22 2015 at 11:39 am
MalaikaJ GOLD, Cloquet, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 127 comments

Favorite Quote:
I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions. - James Michener

This is so sad, but wonderful. I love how you tell us what happened little by little throughout the poem. Dialogue is one of my favorite ways to find out about the story. Great job!

on Jan. 11 2015 at 3:31 pm
itsyourmaingirl SILVER, Flint, Texas
7 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
Show me a family of readers and I will show you the people who will change the world.

I found this such a beautiful poem. I was interested on who exactly the person was. My mind went from boyfriend to dad but for someone reason never the mother. At the end, I was naturally shocked that it was the mother. I always have liked the poems that have the twist at the end. The whole poem had such an amazing message to it. By the end I was wanting to go and give my family a big hug and to not take them for granted as I sometimes do. I loved reading it. Great job!

dreamshaker said...
on Jan. 3 2015 at 2:08 pm
dreamshaker, Clarkston, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 64 comments
This was so heartbreaking - the ending especially hit hard, the mention of the mother totally caught me by surprise . The poem was really well written, to convey so much emotion, and I have to agree with the other commenter: you have a real knack for imagery. The descriptiveness was a huge part of what made it so powerful - it felt very real, like I had been present for all of it. I also loved a lot of the figurative language. The simile "like a zephyr" was particularly impressive - that's one that I've never read, but it fit so perfectly. Well done. Overall amazing - I hope you keep writing, you're incredibly talented.

on Jan. 3 2015 at 2:25 am
Jasmine11 SILVER, Delhi, Other
5 articles 0 photos 49 comments
Beautifully expressed! It was as if the poem was talking to me. Keep it up!

on Dec. 22 2014 at 11:24 am
MysticMusic ELITE, Waterloo, Other
116 articles 0 photos 118 comments

Favorite Quote:
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” -Mae West
"It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things." - Leonardo Da Vinci

Awe this was so sad, and amazing. At first I thought it would be a lover that she was referring to in a depression, and then her father, but her mother was a total surprise. I loved the vivid imagery here, tinged with sadness. The only thing I'd say to make better is to not write in so many coherent sentences. What I mean by that is poems are based on imagery and descriptive passages. What you have here is half short story and half poetry. I know poetry can be written in prose too, but this was a bit too much like a short story describing the main characters' thoughts and should probably have had just a few words describing her thoughts rather than an entire sentence. Other than that, this is an amazing poem- very enlightening, very melancholy. Great job!