whichever way you go(the past) | Teen Ink

whichever way you go(the past)

May 5, 2015
By radicalchickster DIAMOND, Jericho, New York
radicalchickster DIAMOND, Jericho, New York
52 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never, ever, ever give up."

Someone falls

they stumble

their knees break
their fall
and the sharp

angle of the steps
does not hold their weight

in the wake of their seemingly

blurred vision
they are boneless

round as a pumpkin
crashing into the scratchy carpet
their nose cracks and sprays blood


sloshing the mud brown carpet
their nose has been brokena record four times
in the past

their hair is slick
damp black curls

pasted to a high wrinkled
dented forehead
the bleary hazel eyes roll

back in their sockets
the lips are dry , cracked from dehydration
their words are nonsensicalgibberish to the untrained ear
their body spasms
clothing is cut
the pale stomach
like the white underbellyof a fish is exposed

the sticky circular pads

are placed on the chest area
a shock rolls through
like a clap of thunder
come on breathebreathebreathe

everyone is chorusing in a heady rush
consumed by worry
i wonder what your family would say

your sister with her worry lines

would stand off to the side
biting her lips down to the quick

your mother would just about have a stroke
your father would be very brusque with
everyone and not move out of the way
until you woke up
your other sister would stand by your head
i knew what we said though, i know what we saw.
your icy-eyed estranged daughter was cool about the whole exchange after the paramedics left and you were transportedaway
in a flash of lights
your daughter came up and examined the room

with her frosty, dis attached expression
like i will not let this bother me

even though you could see the painin her body language
she looked so small
in comparison to the puddles of blood

on the faux tiled floor
she worried about me
even though i was struck by guilt
over you

even though you had made a bad decision
i knew what you had taken

before everyone else did

and I said nothing about it

until the issue became life-threatening

then I blabbed the whole truth to the world

and in doing so felt like I had broken your trust
in the process

what would you say
if you were coherent
to know that

I'd given up your secretthe one that I had always

promised no matter the circumstances
to always keep private

what other choice did I have?

You were unresponsive

they couldn't get a pulse

you almost died

and now you're gone

for good

there's no turning back

you could have gotten help

while it was around you

but instead you chose the pills

and for that

I don't know

if I have it in my heart

 to ever forgive you

ever since you died

I will never be the same person again

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