Summary:

Everyday started the same, 100 crunches, get dressed, go to school, don’t eat. I felt comfort in a schedule and still do but at that time I couldn't think about anything but food and what I would do for my daily workout. My mind was full of darkness while I tried to fill myself with physical emptiness to make the darkness go away but it never worked. I was alone in my mind unable to think or concentrate on anything. Nothing else  seemed to madder to me but weight and perfection, not even my own life.
My mind on had thoughts of perfection, thoughts of food and exercise but mostly control. The truth of what I didn't know was I had no control at all.