The Past Never Stays in the Past | Teen Ink

The Past Never Stays in the Past

October 21, 2019
By faithL13g, Battle Creek, Michigan
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faithL13g, Battle Creek, Michigan
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Author's note:

This memoir is a story that a lot of people can relate to. Either they have been through this before or know someone that has.

Who are you close with? 

Thinking back to how you communicate with them, do you think you are good communicators?

Your connection with someone depends on a few things; the main thing is communication. At least I think communication is the main thing you should have in any close relationship;  this goes for friends, partners, family members, and etc.

16 years old, I wasn’t close with my mother before this argument, but it wasn’t always that way.

Being born with a mother that is only 16 years older than me, I was always with my mother. We could communicate with each other more. Growing up she felt like more of a sister and not a mother. With her being young, we both had a lot of energy. We would run around my great grandmother's yard together.

There was also some struggles with her being so young. Instead of her maturing enough to be able to raise a daughter on her own she was finding herself as she was helping me find my way through life. 

We argued a lot but we always got to the point where we could sit down and talk about our issues. I told my mother everything. From my conversations with my father to telling her how I feel about the stupid people in class. My mother was my rock that held my world in place, helped put the pieces together. She was my everything because she was so young and spent that much time with me when I was younger.

This lasted until I was about 10 years old; my mom was 26. People are changing, I now have a 5 year old brother and 2 year old sister. I am maturing and my mom is now getting to know other people her age. We didn’t spend a lot of time together anymore. She was busy with her friends, work, and my siblings; then I was busy with school, my friends, and sports. We faded away from each other.

Through the years we had our good times and our bad times. We argued a lot and stopped telling each other everything.

Even though my mother and I started off close doesn't mean we stayed that way. We live in the same house with close rooms but we were not close at all. It was like there was a barrier between us no matter how close we are in person. We are not very good communicators and we started fighting about the silliest things. 

Imagine this, a 32 year old mother- 5 foot 2 inches, brunette with blond highlights, and bright blue eyes. Then her daughter, 16 years old, 5 foot even, dirty blonde hair, and darker blue eyes. Both of them arguing, crying, and showing the frustration in their face.

My mom and I are so bad at communicating we didn't talk about my future until the summer before my Junior year. 

We were the only ones home so is was a quiet night in my house and my father wanted to do laundry so he asked us to fold some. 

We were folding in silence when, for the first time in 4 years, she asked me what I wanted to do in the future. She asked about college, job, and where I want to live.

My mother and I never seen eye to eye on what I should do in the future, mainly why I haven't made up my mind about colleges until just now. We didn’t see eye to eye because my mom wanted me to stay at home and go to KCC for a year; I wanted to move in with my grandmother and go to Western, so I would still be close to home.

She has never liked the idea of me moving out right away, mainly because she has lived with the idea of me being around her for half her life, 16 years. 

Sixteen years of living with someone that is supposed to look up to you. Sixteen years of taking care of another part of you. Sixteen years fighting for someone other than yourself.

Imagine it. Being so connected to someone. Giving them a piece of your heart. Go from seeing them everyday to once a week to once a month can take a part of you just thinking about it. You don’t want to lose the person that you have lived half your life with.

Sitting there folding clothes we started to argue. It turning into yelling, crying, and then silence. Finally, after what felt like hours of silence, we started to talk again. We explained how we felt about each other. Our thoughts, feelings, and concerns. 

Now, because of that 2 hour argument we talk like, theres no tomorrow. Things that we used to have to say to each other over text is now part of the list of things that we can talk about in person. Yes, we still have our disagreements but they are not yelling fights over stupid things. 

Now that we have a better attitude towards each other everyone else also has a better attitude in general. Those two hours of communications change our lives, for the better.



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