The leaves crunch loudly underfoot as I walk across the grass in black sneakers. It’s late afternoon and so the day is still somewhat bright despite the cold. I look carefully at the gravestones within the cemetery. However, I’m not here to pay respects to anyone.

I read off the name on the gravestone in front of me. There it is. The wind picks up as I stop in front of the gravestone. It’s like the cemetery itself is trying to do everything it can to stop me. Almost as if it knows why I’m here. But I won’t be stopped by some troubled leaves of panicked winds. Looking down as I take hold of the zipper of my sweater and pull it up to my chin. I notice on the right side of the front of the grave a vase of lilacs sits. She doesn’t deserve them. My grasp on the bat in my hand tightens and before I’m able to properly think it through, the vase shatters as it collides with my bat. The other three didn’t have anything sentimental in front of theirs, but Annaleigh just had to. She doesn’t deserve it. None of them do.

Leaves crunch behind me. “At this point, you might as well just turn yourself in if you want to be caught so bad.” I stop with the bat midair and turn toward Jackson as I bring it down. My hands still tightly gripping it. I don’t know what he expected when I asked him to drive me to the cemetery with a whole a** bat but his arms are crossed as he stares at me with a blank expression. I return it with the same one before giving him a smile.

“Oh, don’t worry. If I end up being caught for what happened I won’t throw you under the bus for helping me.” He’s silent as he stares down at the bat in my hand. I have to stop myself from scoffing as I point it at him. “I know you’re judging. Don’t.” I snap. “If I had even mentioned the idea to you once, you wouldn’t have hesitated to do the same thing. Neither of us are innocent here. Yet you act like you’re so superior.” He’s still silent as he hits the end of the bat lightly with his pointer finger, signaling me to bring it down. We stare at each other for a few seconds before I reluctantly bring it back down to my side.

His mouth is in a grim line. “I know.” Back to judgementally staring; this time at the remnants of the vase and the sad looking lilacs behind me. “You’ve really destroyed them.” He points it out matter of factly before bringing his attention back to me. “Now do you want to stay and wait for someone to see you, standing before this broken vase and carrying a bat before they put two and two together, or do you want to get out of here?”

We’re back to staring at each other with blank expressions. I urge him to say something but he stays placid. As do I as I put one foot in front of the other and move forward past him, keeping the bat unmoving by my side. For a second, it felt so light that I forgot I was holding it. Now it feels heavy at my side. Jackson already had the hood of his sweater up to cover his short brown hair and I make sure to do the same. We walk to his car in silence, him walking slightly behind me and when we make it back to his car, the first thing I do is pull the handle of the already unlocked backseat door. 

There’s a click as I open it and peer inside to be welcomed by an unopened box of garbage bags on the seat in front of me. I’ve got to admit, it’s nice that he’s always so prepared for everything. I grab the box with the hand i’m not using to carry the bat and hold it against my chest as I open the cardboard and take out a garbage bag. I gently toss the box back on the seat as Jackson reaches out and grabs the bag from me. He opens the thin, clear plastic and I give him a slight nod as I put the bat in it with the handle sticking out before taking the bag from him and tossing the bat on the floor in front of the backseats. I slam the door and it thuds behind me as I walk over to the passenger side and climb in. The seat belt stays in its place as I tug on it. I let got when I hear the door next to me open and look up to see Jackson entering the car.

The seatbelt moves smoothly this time around as I slide it over to the buckle. “Good idea bringing garbage bags.”

“I keep them in my car. It’s a gift to not be as stupid as you.” I glare at him for a moment before turning my head to look forward. He starts up the car and it is now that I realize it’s the perfect time for me to get out what i’ve been trying to say to him for the past couple weeks.

“Hey, Jackson. I’ve been thinking. And I think that after this we probably shouldn’y speak to each other again.”

His eyes barely widen, giving the slightest hint of him being surprised. “You too?”

I stop picking at the fraying parts on my gloves and tilt my head towards him. “So you agree then? That’s a relief. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you since before we even fully went through our decision but I haven’t know exactly when to. But people will start getting suspicious. It’s only a matter of time. Sure, the police in our town are crappy.” I put my hand up to gester as I speak. “But if they don’t figure things out eventually, someone else surely will. It’s better if we stop all contact with each other. Although thos brats were the ones who pushed my sister off that cliff, no one would care. The jury would only have had to make up some excuse of how ‘young’ they are or argue Melanie’s death to be a suicide and they’d get let off with a slap on the wrist. We may know that us killing them was nothing short of what they deserved, but there’s no way many other would agree with us on that. The real monsters always get away with their crimes in cases like these.”

Well that’s a relief. We don’t want to be caught, right?”

I bring my hand up to rub my forehead. Not this again. “Shut up. You do realize being self aware doesn't make you any better? I didn’t force you to get involved. I didn’t make you do all this just because you are my sister’s best friend…But you do have a point. We really aren’t any better, are we?”

There’s no hesitation as he remarks, “Not at all.”

“You know, you’re extremely blunt.”

“Don’t get me wrong, the only thing I would ever regret from this whole experience is if either of us get caught. Although, destroying that vas was a bit much, don’t you think? Going after four teenage girls after they’re already six feet under.” I can’t fully understand what he means by that. He’s looking forward, unfazed at the road in front of him as he’s been doing since he sat in the car. I open my mouth to ask but close it immediately. We’re never going to see each toher again after this last ride. It’s not like i’ve ever been able to get much out of him in the first place. Looking at him now, I still can’t tell how my sister became best friends with him. But it’s fine. I’ll actually have time to figure out this last mystery of his.

I still haven’t answered his question. And from what I’ve seen; despite himself, he doesn’t like when there’s mystery behind others. I cup my head in my hand as I continue to try to stare boredly at the leafless trees that pass us through the window in front of me. “Probably. But why shouldn’t I go big or go home? If both my sister’s and my life is going to get ruined because of their cowardice, I might as well get as much out of this as I can.” I add in, “For my sister, of course.”

At that he raises his eyebrows in the rearview mirror. Finally got a reaction. “These are peoples lives we’re talking about.”

I bring my hands down to rest in my lap and sit up straighter. “There are plenty of bad people in this world that deserve to suffer.”

He turns his head away from the road for a split second. “So then you admit Layla. You do want more.’

“So you already thought as much? That doesn’t surprise me. Nothing ever slips passed you.” I reach over and lightly pat his shoulder. Although, clearly things about me have slipped past him. “I owe you a big thanks for it. My sister never would have been able to get her justice if it weren’t for you.”

He lets outs a awkward laugh that ends just as fast as it began. “And i’m guessing you wouldn’t be able to get your ‘justice’ either.”

I pause once more before I answer. “I consider it to be justice. I already know I’m a scumbag for what I did and that I’m even worse because I don’t regret a thing. But I’m not murder crazy because of the events from the past few months. That was my last stunt.” His knuckles are white where he clutchwed the steering wheel. It’s amusing. I know it’s because he knows exactly how I feel. But nevermind that.

I turn my head to give one last look at the spot where the cemetery lays somewhere behind me. “My work here is done. For now anyways.”