Doggy Poo | Teen Ink

Doggy Poo MAG

By Anonymous

     This morning I stepped in doggy poopy. My parents told me time and time again to walk on the driveway and avoid the yard, but because I think I know everything, I knew that the shortest distance between two points (in my case the house and car) was a straight line. Besides, I knew that many things parents say are insignificant.

A few years ago I learned the secret of parenting. While snooping around my parents’ room, I found a book entitled How to Make Your Kids Eat Spinach and Other Green Things: A Manual for the Domestically Challenged. It was hidden behind a jar of teeth (my mom was the Tooth Fairy by night) and was covering a rubber mask (my dad was the Boogie Man). The author was some doctor, but he only had a Ph.D. so I knew he wasn’t credible. I revisited this book whenever my parents gave me instructions (“Jerica, clean your room. It’s good for your health.” “Jerica, brush your teeth, it will make you stronger.” “Jerica, you have a good personality. Your acquaintances will surely be able to tolerate you.”) and when I found their counsel or directions in that book, I would simply disregard it. As the reader may have guessed, there was a chapter directing that children not play or walk on grass, so I ignored this admonition, too. It was more convenient to cut through the yard, and I usually arrived at my destination in safety.

Because I thought I knew everything, I did not even have to look down to know it was doggy poopy my foot had so gracefully slid into. I had barely 10 minutes to get to the bus stop, so I acted fast, not really thinking about what I was going to do to fix the problem. I’ll leave the grotesque details to the power of imagination.

During school, as I constantly smelled the evidence of recent events, I conceived a bazillion different ways I could have handled the situation. Needless to say, it seemed my shoe emitted an unpleasant stench all day. Removing the falling star I had caught when I was six from my pocket - I was saving it for a rainy day but supposed this was as good a time as any - I wished that no one would detect the odor.

People often take short cuts in life, but embracing the easy way is useful only because it often leads to mistakes, which in turn causes people to learn, grow and move on. Even though I know everything, I still make a lot of mistakes. I know that the problems and trials I encounter help mold me into perfection. They may be difficult, but one day, when I am old and gray, I will lose my sense of smell and be able to step in all the doggy poopy I want. Everyone should step in it once in a while. It reminds them to watch where they are going in life, helping to return them to the right path. Also, I would never have learned as much as I have, and that is saying a lot considering (I am sure the reader remembers) I know everything.

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This article has 6 comments.

i love this so much!

on Dec. 10 2014 at 10:13 am
TravelerenRoute GOLD, Ribera, New Mexico
13 articles 1 photo 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson

That was awesome! Haha that was also really hilarious. Good job!

emily watson said...
on Jan. 14 2014 at 4:47 am
It was an intresting piece i iked it  

xoxlilshawty said...
on Sep. 26 2013 at 10:19 pm
Dear Jerica M., Reading this essay has been an honest pleasure. It was extremely comical and reminded me a little of my sense of humor. That humor will get you very far and gives you and your readers a new outlook on life. Despite that your essay is a about “dog poop” it has meaning; suggesting to look at the brighter side of life and learn from your mistakes. Anyone who reads this will be able to see that you have quite the personality.  I love your confidence and claim that you know everything. That type of attitude isn't always the greatest but in a way that confidence will help you weave through a lot of obstacles in life. Just like you said if you step in more poop it'll help you to watch where you step.   Towards the middle section you talk about how you found a book that your parents hide with other secrets including the boogie man mask and the teeth from your mom acting as the tooth fairy. In the book you describe how inside it gives your parents cheesy tactics and ideas on how to raise you. “That is too funny!” How you go back and refer to the book when they say things to you like. “brush your teeth, it will make you stronger.” “you have a good personality”Your acquaintances will surely be able to tolerate you.” and then totally disregard them. Your parents seem like interesting characters as well. This probably help to mold you into who you are today. Reading this essay was truly inspirational for me because  it makes me want to embrace who i am even more. This essay is all you; it involves your real emotion and show the readers what a hilariously optimistic twist you can put on life to make all the bad experiences into good ones. Sometimes its best to laugh at ourselves when we make mistakes; i mean how can you not. As humans i think theres a natural human instinct to be stubborn and hard headed , mischievous, daring and adventurous. these are all words that i would use to describe you. Thank you once again for this chance; it has been n honor sincerely, Breanna.R  

on Sep. 4 2013 at 7:41 pm
pgarcia1222 BRONZE, Chicago, Illinois
1 article 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What's meant to be... will always find it's way."

I really enjoyed your essay from beginning to end. I, myself, am a high school student and I hope I could write an excellent essay like you :) Good job!

sloppy joes said...
on Mar. 16 2009 at 5:22 pm
it's great how u inc. stepping in dog poo to a life lesson