The moment I get home from school, I’m not thinking about homework or chores or anything else. The first thing that pops in my mind is “what am I going to eat?” I usually think about it for a long while, and try to decide if I should really eat something now or later. I mean, I’m hungry, but then again I know I shouldn’t be eating just for fun. Others in this world have nothing to eat for hours at a time. And here I am eating away. I will never know what the pain is of going through only able to be eating once a day. But maybe their hungry and my hungry are different. There hungry could be something about being hungry for money or getting good grades. But I’m hungrier for love or being wanted.

The first remembrance of the first time when I was hungry was the summer when I was four years of age. It’s not like the “I need food” hungry. It was more of hungry for being wanted and loved by my dad. He was never really home when I was younger because we had finical issues and we needed money to have a good life. He would work for long periods at a time so I never really saw him, when I did he was too tired to stay up and play with me or even say anything to me. I usually didn’t let it bother me, but after over a year of it, it hit me in the face like snowball. I was hungry for his love.

I usually never fell that way. That was the only time I think I have ever felt hungry for love. There have been many people that have not felt love from parents. A lot of them have ran away, done drugs, drink alcohol, dropped out of school and have had bad grades, and are more sexually active. It is emotional abuse. Most parents don’t even know that they are doing it because they are used to that feeling because of what their parents did to them. They can’t tell what loving their kids feels like because they have never felt love from their parents. Now the kids don’t know what that feels like to be loved. They have seen kids and their parents and seen that they are loved. And they can realize that there is a difference between their parents, the ones that don’t love them the way they should, and the ones that love their child so much. If they have felt this way when they are younger they are more likely to do the same to their kids, and it’s just a never ending cycle. A lot of people are usually hungry for some other type of emotion, and sometimes might not even realize it. Most people put it behind them and deny it. Even when they don’t realize it, other people will notice a change in that person. Say, if someone is usually always happy and nice to everyone then they start to not talk to anyone and be unsocial. Even be unhappy.

I usually don’t get hungry for love or any other things beside food now. I hope I never feel that way again. It was a bad feeling, and it really hurt. I don’t want anyone else to go through the same thing that I went through. I hope that no one will ever treat someone the way that I was when I was younger.