The Miners Burger | Teen Ink

The Miners Burger

October 23, 2015
By Jacob Niles BRONZE, Camas, Washington
Jacob Niles BRONZE, Camas, Washington
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Have you ever seen something so amazing you had to eat it, all of it? Have you done that right before a road trip with no rest stops around? I made a similar mistake when I was visiting my aunt and uncle in Yakima. No one should ever eat a large meal right before a long car ride with no stops to avoid stomach pain, nausea, and the feeling of being trapped with no end in site. Don’t do this especially if what you are eating is a five pound burger. 

As we were driving down the highway at the start of our three hour journey home I started experiencing shooting pains in my stomach. “Why did I do that? It was so stupid,” I said as I thought back to what had occurred in the last 48 hours. 
It was the summer of 2015, my family and I had driven up to Yakima, WA from Camas, WA. It was the grand opening of my uncle Shawn’s new church, Dad´s House. It took about three hours to get up there, but we finally made it. We arrived the night before and checked into our hotel. The hotel had a huge lobby with with tall vaulted ceilings.  The next morning, I got up early, took a shower, and ate the hotel’s continental breakfast. The day was going just as planed.


My uncle Shawn had arrived to pick me and my Sister Jessica up for worship practice. Jessica had curly brown hair and red glasses. Jessica was on piano, Shawn on acoustic guitar, and I was playing the cajon box drum. My uncle has red hair, glasses, and a scraggly beard. “You guys ready,” he asked as he pulled up to the front of the hotel where Jessica and I were waiting.


“Yup,” I replied. We proceeded to get in the car and talk about how we’ve been since the last time we saw him.
The church is located in a 360 degree theater room, with the stage in the middle and the chairs fully surrounding it. After we set up the sound equipment and practiced our song list, Shawn’s wife and six month old son arrived. Tenielle was short with long black curly hair and and her son Asher was the cutest little baby with not much hair and long arms.  I had only seen Asher a couple of time since he was born in December so I immediately ran over to say hello. “Asher! what’s up buddy.”


“Hey man,” my aunt Tenielle said as she side hugs me holding Asher in her other arm. I proceed to great several people I haven’t seen in a long time as they walk in one after the other. Because the church takes place in a theater arts studio the front room is decorated in props and pictures. In the corner of the room is a knight in shining armour and a bright pink tootoo. My friend Ben and I were making fun of it and named it Fred. This became an inside joke that was brought up throughout the day.


In the back there was a dance studio with a couch in it. There was still some time before the service started so Ben, my brothers, and I hung out until it was time to start. Ben was tall for the age of 15 and had short brown hair that was spiked in the front


It was almost time for worship to start and I started to feel uneasy. Even though I play drums monthly, I still got nervous playing in front of a new group of people. Despite my nerves, worship went great. My uncles sermon was awesome too.


After church we had an Ice cream party to celebrate the grand opening of the church. There was so much ice cream that everyone brought that we ended up handing out boxes as guests left. There was everything from ice cream sandwiches and drumsticks to popsicles. You probably think this is why I felt like I was going to die in the car, but the worst was yet to come.


Next, following the party we decided to go to Miners a small burgers joint just around the corner. The list of people who went was long and included my aunt and uncle, my nana and grandpa Jim, Ben, and my whole family. Miners had been around for several years and was known for their giant burgers. I had already eaten lots of ice cream and wasn’t sure if I could handle that kind of a berger. When it was my turn to order I made a horrible decision to not only get the Miners Burger, but to get fries and a drink too. When The burger arrived it was even bigger than I remembered. I was excited and scared all at the same time, but I wasn’t about to step down from a challenge. Imagine if George Lopez's Head was on a plate with fries and a drink and that wouldn’t be half the size of this burger. “Oh boy,” I said.


“I know right,” Ben replays looking at his own Miners Burger that awaits him. “I’ll be surprised if I don’t end up with diabetes.”


“What did we do Ben. Wait there was curly fries! Dang!” Ben and I both start laughing. We weren’t even halfway through when I started to worry. I hadn’t even touched my fries yet. I don’t know if I should go on eating I thought.


“I don’t know if I can handle anymore,” Ben stated.


“I was just thinking the same thing.” But I did. I finished the whole burger, but couldn’t fit anymore fries on top. By this time I was feeling worse by the the minuet. It was getting late and we still had the drive home so we said our goodbyes.

 

“See ya later Ben.”


“I can’t believe you ate that entire burger! I’m saving mine for later.”


“I know. I’m already starting to regret it.”


“Ok see ya later man”


As we were packing everyone in the car I knew the ride home was not going to be pleasant. “you guys want to stop and get snacks for the ride home,” my dad ask with the same red hair his brother has.
“No! I mean no thank you. I’m not feeling too hot.”


“You shouldn’t have eaten that giant burger.”


“I know,” I said feeling the pain rise up inside me. Oh Man.


About half an hour later the pain is unbearable. “Dad, can we stop at a restroom.”


“You should've asked me about 20 minutes ago. We’re in the middle of nowhere now. Sorry bud.” Why did I do That. It was so stupid.


Because of my horrible experience I highly suggest never eating anything if decent size right before a long car trip. When I was stupid enough to try eating a mega burger before my long road trip home, I definitely paid the price. Please avoid any of the mistakes leading up to one of the worst road trips of my life. No matter how amazing the idea sounds at the time it is never worth it. Please heed my advice and stay away from large meals before large car trips.



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