I just want to stop suffering I just want to stop crying every day I just want all this to go away but the only way that could happen is for me to die but I don’t want to die I truly wanna live sometimes I could say I wanna die or I wanna kill myself but I don’t I just want to be happy and when I say that word I just start crying cause the only true happiness is him but then this makes me more miserable not him not our relationship just this and I am sssooo afraid of everything even if I don’t show it even if I just show that I’m a bad ass and a b**** and everything but NOBODY knows who I truly am no one really knows me I don’t even know myself sometimes or I’m just gonna go ahead and say the truth that I don’t know myself at all I just hate myself I don’t know why exactly but there’s gotta be a reason and I’m so angry at myself for doing some things but that’s the past and I can’t go back in time to fix my problems and I know that I’m not perfect I’m not even close to that word or whatever “perfect” means I can NEVER forget my past and I really don’t want to my past has showed me a loooot of things its showed me how to say no wait not no “HEEEELL NNOOO” It showed me that I didn’t have to do what everybody says it showed me I can be whatever I want well if I work hard and someday I can do whatever I want I can say and scream anything I feel like it just showed me to LOVE life not to hate it but to appreciate it a little more every day so I do that I love my life sometimes I can say the opposite and I could be...