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Bitter Sweet
Nobody ever thinks that it’d happen to them. Children are taught that bullying only happens in movies to the pocket-protector-wearing nerdy kids on the school chess club; but this can’t be any farther from the truth.
I was one of those kids. I went to school, got good (not perfect) grades, had the clothes that everyone wore, and I even cut my hair to the “in” style. I thought that I’d given them, the “popular kids”, no reason to see me as any different from them. Boy was I wrong.
Objects, as well as names, were thrown. I was kicked, made fun of, laughed at; everything that you could imagine a kid would be capable of and more. Even just listening to their words felt as if they were cutting me up and leaving me to bleed.
I attempted to tell my teachers, but they never did enough to make them stop. I finally just took matters into my own hands and told them off. I thought that it would feel amazing to finally stand up to them, but the cuts that they made never really healed; they only brought scars.
The memories that they left me with only seemed to bring on future problems. During the time I was tormented, I was being inadvertently trained on how to use words and thoughts against myself. I would never even dream of destroying other people with them, but hurting myself was never so out of reach.
When I first stood up to them, I did so because I was getting annoyed with the fact that they would distract me during school, and that their words seemed to exhaust me more physically then mentally. But now, I guess I never realized how bitter their words were until I put them in my own mouth. The taste is rancid, vile, and it can’t be cleaned away with mouthwash.
They called me ugly, selfish and weak for reasons that only they knew. These words eventually came to be my own personal definition of who I was. I came to believe that I’d never be pretty enough or kind enough, and I would most certainly never be strong enough. How could I be, when I let words spilt my heart and defile my mind?
The words make your body feel numb and broken. In your mind, you think you’re useless as well as worthless. The words seem to hit harder when they come from within. The kids turned me into a bully worse than themselves; if you put yourself down, will anything ever be able to bring you back up?
Words hurt, and if you don’t believe that then you’ve obviously never been smothered by them. Your words change how people view themselves (I know, that’s what happened to me). Before you speak, always remember to taste your words before you spit them out.
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