I Hate Everything About You...Those words are carved into my leg, a scar that will never disappear.
And it's true. I hate everything about myself. I hate my physical appearance, I hate my sense of humor, my short temper, my overeating, everything. People always compliment me, saying "You're so funny!" or "You're such a good listener." And I always deny it. They think I'm being modest, but they don't realize that it's the truth.
And I'm not the only person who thinks I'm worthless. People I considered my friends have made fun of me for the scars on my wrists, for my weight, for my st-st-st-stutter, for anything and everything. What they don't realize is that what they say only makes it worse. I am afraid to speak in class because I know they will laugh at my stutter, but the teachers don't care. I cut my wrists because some irrational part of my brain thinks that maybe I can bleed out the feelings inside of me. And my weight...oh god my weight. The main cause of my problems. I'm 4'11" and I weigh nearly as much as my dad, who is 5'6". I've been in metal hospitals before, but all they did was put me on meds and release me. I know that what I do to myself isn't healthy, both mentally and physically, but I can't help it.
That was me six months ago. I stopped cutting. I stopped stress eating. I learned that I don't have to love myself, I just have to deal with who I am. I am no longer getting bullied, because I decided to stand up for myself. I still st-st-stutter, but it's not nearly as bad.
I have a message to any victims of bullying out there. You are not alone. And no matter what you think, you are NOT worthless. Even if you don't feel like it, act as if you're confident and amazing, because if you act like that all the time, eventually it will become the truth.