People say I am a bully. But that is only because they just look at it on the outside. I don't know why people want to be an outsider anyway. All they do is get picked on or pushed around. In my house, people don't care about treating others as they wanted to be treated. All they care about is treating losers how they feel like it. For example, my daddy. Every time he came home, I always would end up getting beatings from him. It never came to a point where he would hug me and say, "I love you son". It was always a "I hate you", "you are a selfish bastard" and "your mother never loved you". One bad word from the next. When you hear things like that, you start to have hatred. Every time I saw someone get along with there dad, I got jealous. I couldn't help it that I got angry, it just happened. When you come from a family with verbal abuse, you tend to lash it out on other people. Especially when they are gay.

"Yo Geo, are you coming to the gym or what?"

I look at Travis as he puts on his black sweat suit with his brown cocoa muscles. I watched him as I put my paints on. Travis stared at me as I changed my clothes. He always gave me that strange look sometimes. Every time I left the shower he would stare at me for the longest time. I would tell him to leave, but he would walk slowly and brush my shoulder very lightly. I never got that but I always left it alone. But besides all that strange stuff, we were the rulers of the school. Nobody messed with us and since we walked the halls, people quickly moved to the side and let us pass. I liked that high, I was that dude. You know the official boss. This was one time I got to be the tough guy in school .Since I had Travis on the scene; the whole school was on lock down. Travis and I headed to the gym to skip fourth period. I really didn't feel like going to class as usual and not going was an easy decision for me. It felt great to prove s***.

Travis and I were at the gym benches smoking a blunt while the athletes were getting ready for a race. We always started to laugh at them as they were so determined. On the outside you would think we seemed it was stupid but on the inside we really were jealous. At least they know what to do with their lives besides us. I hated seeing someone successful, at least keep it on the low besides rubbing it in our faces. Every time I saw that it gave me a reason to attack them. I even had my plan going when I saw this fruit tart on the team. I went up close to him.

"Yo!"

He stands there and looks at me with a blank expression. He ties his shoes while rolling his eyes.

"Can I help you Geo!"

He sits on the bench while putting his stuff away. I laugh in his face and snatch the bag from him.

"Guess what Travis; this loser is going to a beauty pageant."

We both laugh at the same time. Travis snatches the purse that the queer got and rubbed it in his face.

"Probably since he dresses like it too. Geo what do you think?"

I rubbed my chin ever so softly. I looked at Travis and then at him.

"Maybe we should make a grand show of it."

Travis clapped his hands. We both took the queers stuff and pulled him up. We dragged the fruit tart to the cafeteria and made him walk a runway in front of the whole school. All the kids laughed while Travis talks on the mike. I push him to walk.

"Move it homo."

I pushed him between the two rows of lunch tables.

"Alright, here is the drag queen of spring. As you can see, he is wearing the usual track uniform with red lipstick and blue eye shadow. He is going for the prostitute look which can look good for Halloween."

Whole lunch room was filled with laughter. Travis and I looked at each other and smiled. We saw the gay guy get really upset. He picked up his stuff with tears and ran to the bathroom. For some reason I loved seeing that. It made me feel like I was on top of the world. I never felt so alive. My heart races when I see them hurt. I loved it for a while because every time I say the gay track runner, I made sure he had the worst day of his life. Since my dad came home drunk every single day, I made sure people's lives were just as bad as mine. I know that sounds bad but it was the truth.

It didn't only stop there, my best friend at the time, Travis, was acting funny. He started to get all emotional and s***. As if he was connected to the fag. I caught this at first hand when we thoughts about bombing the LGBT community at our school. I was thinking about putting a stink bomb at their assembly while the queer speaks. Travis got a little offended and started to talk.

"Yo, don't you think that is a little bit harsh?"

I looked at him as if he went crazy. All this time he was fine with the pranks until now. It got to me because lately he has been nice to the loser too. I was frustrated with him being an idiot.

"You dumb idiot! We planned this all year. Since you have been hanging out with him, all of a sudden you feel bad now."

Travis plays with his fingers and looks nervous. He then stands up for himself.

"Listen, he is a good kid. Why should you hurt him like this? He is gay, so what?"

I felt guilty for a bit as I turned my head. I thoughts he was my friend but I guess he changed his mind.

"You are my best friend. How can you betray me like this? We have been doing this since the 5tho grade. Now you want to have a heart. Come on."

Travis followed me as I walked out. I could hear his crap from far away.

"Listen Geo, I feel like we should stop bullying people. Don't you ever wonder of making your life better? I know I do, because I am tired of bullying someone the one day and thinking how lame my life is the next. I can't do this anymore man. It's killing me inside."

I look at him and feel hopeless. I needed someone and for him to back down was the most hurtful feeling in the world. I felt like I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. I couldn't bare the image and for that, so I went on a rampage even more.

"Then if you want to be with the homo then fine, but don't expect to count me in."

Travis looked at me. He played with his fingers and shook his head.

"Fine, but if you don't like your father to attack you. Then you should stop attacking other people."

I stood their as he walked away. I couldn't believe he said that about my father. What did he mean anyway? Did he mean that if I stop doing this to other people, will I be different from my father? I don't get it. I continued to follow him to see why he said that. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. As soon as I walked to the door, it was locked. I banged on the door until the janitor unlocked it for me. When I opened that door, I saw something that I will never forget in a life time. I saw Travis, my best friend, kissing the gay track runner from school. I was so in shock, I couldn't help myself. But then I came to realize that I was best friends with a gay man.