Peace at Hole 9 | Teen Ink

Peace at Hole 9

April 30, 2008
By Anonymous

Peace at Hole 9
 Westover Golf Course is just a short walk through the woods. On that golf course is my favorite spot; the bridge on hole 9. The mud was so thick my boots were already covered though I had just begun. The air in the woods smelled strongly of pine and sap. The radiant glowing sun shone down through the branches almost like a child peeking from behind a tree during hide-and-seek.  The noise around me was minimal, just a few birds and my boots sloshing through the murky mud.
            Finally I’m here, at the wide stone bridge. Looking over the edge, dozens of golf balls, white and orange, coat the bottom of the stream. An occasional light breeze is carrying the smell of smoke: most likely from a chimney in my neighborhood. The warm sun on my face is a nice contrast to the late winter winds chilling the rest of me.
            Still looking into the water a few ducks float by, passing the abundant clumps of wooly cattails. The water level of the stream is high, compared to its usual, from the downpours this week. The golden grass all around me is saturated to its fullest. I decided I should take a seat on the edge of the bridge. The wind is blowing in my ears so I can’t even hear the rushing water or the crackling ice that I could before.
            As peaceful as I am, I’m still aware of my aching feet. My boots are much too small.  It feels like my toes are being stepped on by an elephant! My legs are stinging because of the cold stone wall that is my seat. I change my position so the wind is at my back.
            When I look down at my crimson frozen hands I begin to regret not grabbing gloves like my mom said to. The tip of my nose is red like Rudolph’s. SPLASH! Quickly turning I saw a duck land on some paper thin ice, nearly falling into the far-off waters.
            I can’t feel my legs, and I should probably go home now. Knowing I’ll be back in a few hours I’m not too unwilling to leave. My neighbor will happily join me later. A shiver runs down my spine. “Brr,” I say out loud. Or maybe we will hangout indoors instead.

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This article has 4 comments.

sio! said...
on Aug. 16 2008 at 10:42 pm
this is wicked good erinnn!

i've never been to that golf course but now i want to go to hole 9.

good job!

DJD said...
on Aug. 15 2008 at 3:03 pm
I feel like I was there with you experiencing the cold wind and freezing temperatures you wrote about. You have also managed to convey a deep love of nature as you observed this peaceful, wintery scene. Nicely done.

on Aug. 11 2008 at 10:14 pm
Good imagery --- not overdone --- just enough to get the reader situated with you. Watch your verb tenses. It is more difficult, I think, to write a story in the present tense. The first paragraph is in past tense. Then the rest of the story is in present tense. This can be an interesting writing technique. However, in the latter part of the story you slipped back into the past tense "decided", "saw".

Really good job. Keep writing!!!

ReneeGaulin! said...
on Aug. 11 2008 at 9:48 pm
this is really good! i could totally picture this in my mind.

you are a great writerr!