Mental Illnesses are very complicated. It is completely normal for a teen to get sad or depressed at one time or another but depression itself is very complicated. There are times when something happens and this “phase” of depression comes. Maybe a loved one died or a relationship failed. Eventually this sadness or depression will pass but sometimes it doesn’t. There is a difference between getting depressed and having depression. Having depression does not mean that you are just going through a “phase”. It never leaves. It will keep you up at night and ruin even the best days of your life. You can’t just “be happy”.

So what does depression feel like? Imagine being lost at sea. You are surrounded by water yet you’re dying of thirst. You can see land but you have no way to get to it. It is like being told how beautiful the melody of life is yet all you can hear is the sound of nails on a chalkboard when you listen to it. You never stop hurting. Everything you used to smile at takes effort to enjoy. You can still be “happy” but it doesn’t feel the same. It feels empty. You know that the feeling of happiness is going to leave and eventually you stop fighting for it to stay.

You can’t just get rid of the feeling. You can’t just stop your unhealthy habits. Unhealthy habits become addicting. Depression becomes a way of life. Everyday you wake up you don’t see the sun. You see a blazing ball of fire in the sky reminding you that you’re still forced to live this way. Can you imagine how waking up to this everyday would feel? Well some of us can. I like to keep my teen relates series somewhat relatable for anyone who were to read my paper so I am going to try and help both sides of the spectrum. Those who understand how this feels and those who don’t.

Recognizing depression can be really hard. Not all depressed teens self harm or are honest about their depression. Depressed teens still smile, laugh and sometimes do great in school. Acting perfect is the best fake personality for someone who is depressed. This doesn’t mean that every kind, straight A, cheerful teen is depressed but before you assume that the “innocent” or “happy” kid is perfectly okay you need to recognize that some depressed teens are really good at hiding mental illnesses.

Some signs of a depressed teen can be self harm, self hate, skipped meals, hopelessness, sensitivity to topics that may trigger depressing thoughts. These are just ones I have noticed. I am in no way a professional. Two of the best signs for hidden depression that I have come to know are self hate and sensitivity to certain topics. Sometimes a topic can be brought up such as parents, certain peers, or a hidden insecurity that may make a depressed teen quiet or sometimes even quick, a little too quick, to give their opinion. Sometimes these reactions are almost unnoticeable.

Some teens also use self hate jokes or constant comments of self hate or doubt as either a coping mechanism or a small scream for help. Jokes such as these are so common anymore it is hard to see who actually hates themself. Too many kids call themselves trash or have grown accustomed to doubting themselves that it is hard to see who is actually depressed. Depressed or not anyone who makes comments like these should be corrected and reminded that they are amazing and loved.

How do you help a depressed friend? I would recommend alerting an adult. I know that you’ve probably heard this about a million times before and it is not always as simple as it seems. Sometimes you don’t know wich adult to trust, your friend doesn’t want you to tell anyone, or you personally are afraid to get help. Trust me. Getting an adult involved will be one of the best things you’ve ever done to help them. Adults can be really narrow minded but when it comes to mental illnesses they have resources that you don’t to get your friend professional help. If you are not sure who to trust then always go to someone at school first. Whether that is a teacher or the counselor tell an adult at school if you don’t know where to go.

Would you really want your friend to suffer for the rest of their lives or possibly die because you kept such a deadly secret for them? There is the possibility that you may temporarily lose a friend. In my opinion losing a friend is worth saving a life.

If you are depressed please I am begging you to get help. I know it is going to be hard but it is going to be worth it. My first two months of counseling were the worse two months of my life but I promise you it is worth it. If you are looking for coping methods then remember that when it comes to depression music is your best friend. Don’t listen to anything triggering. That can do more harm than good. If you feel like hurting yourself use marker instead.   

Depressing thoughts come more frequently or more aggressively at night when you have nothing to distract. Coping is all about distracting yourself in a healthy way. If you have a pet and find that one night you are really struggling with depression attempt bringing your pet into your room.  Literature has became my best friend when it comes to depression. Try reading or writing. Sometimes talking to someone can help but please make sure that someone is someone you can trust 100%. Talking to someone you can’t trust is worse than keeping this a secret from everyone.

It will hurt. Depression isn’t an easy fix. It is going to be here tomorrow, next week and probably next year but please get help. I am begging you to get help. It will be worth it. Sometimes even medication is needed but please never think that your life isn’t worth it. You don’t have to face this alone. I am not a professional. I don’t have all the answers. I am just a kid that has had quite a bit of experience with depression and depressed friends. I love you all. Have a great day. :)

Sincerely,

Cat27